Accepting Consequences
by Katiyana
Summary: AU. The effects of decisions made in the past come to light in the present. Life has a way of throwing out unexpected curveballs. G/C
1. Chapter 1

Summary : AU. The effects of decisions made in the past come to light in the present. Life has a way of throwing out unexpected curveballs. G/C

Disclaimer : All characters are from CSI. Not mine.

A/N : This is an old fanfic, written years ago, one of my very first. Definitely my first attempt at anything of this length. CSI was the first fandom I ever wrote for. Just reposting it with minor corrections. Hope it can still be enjoyed even if CSI is very different now.

Chapter 1

"Can you please find my mommy?" asked the little girl with the sweet, innocent blue eyes and light blonde hair tumbling down past her shoulders.

She was wearing pink pyjamas and had her teddy bear tucked under her arm. Her eyes were red-rimmed and she obviously had not changed out of her pyjamas since the night before. She looked lost and scared and confused. But everyone could see that she was trying to be brave, as she watched the people around her do their work.

Warrick's heart broke as the interpreter translated the hand signals to him. The little girl had apparently been abandoned at home. A kindly neighbour, who sometimes babysat her, had come home from work late in the evening and seen the child clutching her teddy bear on the front lawn. The lady had immediately called the authorities and stayed with the child until the police came.

According to the lady, the parents had frequent fights and were noisy enough to wake the entire neighbourhood sometimes. She did not know what the mother worked as, but she worked nights so the little girl had to be left with a sitter.

The neighbour had offered to watch the little girl because she felt sorry for the mother and child. She rarely saw the man of the house, who came and went at odd hours. When questioned, the neighbour said that the mother had obviously gotten the worst of some fights but had denied any abuse.

She didn't think the child was ever hurt. Only the mother was obviously injured from the fights. But no matter what she had said, the mother had refused any sort of help. It seemed that no one dared to interfere with the domestic quarrels. The husband had been very aggressive towards another neighbour, who had once tried to intervene.

"So they simply left it alone," said Warrick softly, disgusted, as he listened to the neighbour's story.

Part of him knew that the only way to get any help for the family was if the mother had filed a report or a complaint. There really was not much that the neighbours could have done. But with the little girl sitting in front of him, with so much pain in her eyes for someone so tiny, Warrick wished that someone had done something sooner.

The house that they had been called to was a complete mess. There had definitely been a struggle inside the house. Things were destroyed and furniture was overturned and broken. There were drops of blood as well. The only room that had been intact in the small house was the little girl's. There were no signs of destruction in the child's pink room.

There were pictures of the family that lived in that house. In the photographs, everyone looked happy and smiled. The mother was beautiful, blonde hair and blue-eyed, evidently having passed on her beauty to her daughter. The man was reasonably handsome as well. A good-looking couple with a beautiful daughter. How deceiving were the joyful photographs on the walls and shelves?

Or were they simply a relic of happier times? Maybe things had been great for a time. Nick fervently hoped so, as he took pictures of the house that had been thrashed. He felt sick when he thought of the little girl that they had found, upon their arrival and the mess when they had looked inside the house. The whole team had breathed a sigh of utter relief when the paramedic had pronounced the little girl unhurt.

Nick had had terrifying visions of what may have happened to the girl when he took a first glance around the house. He suspected that his team members felt the same. That was probably why Sara had opted to process the lawn and the area surrounding the house instead of the house itself.

Sara had carefully processed the little girl for evidence after the paramedics had checked her out. But the girl had been quite clean. She had obviously been in her room and unaffected by whatever had been going on in her home, outside her bedroom. They would wait with her until Social Services came to take charge of her. Then they would have to more thoroughly process her pyjamas at the lab.

However, Sara guessed that there was not much evidence to be found there. It would all be in the house or outside, nowhere near the small girl. For that she was devoutly thankful. At least the parents had spared their child the trauma. Her being deaf had probably also protected her further. She would not have heard most of her parents' fighting and would not really know, unless she saw them going at it.

From the pristine condition of the girl's room, the CSIs were quite sure that the girl had not been caught up in any fights. She did not sport any previous bruising either. The fights had been strictly between the grown-ups. But as time went on, that situation probably would have changed. It was difficult to stop when someone was out of control, especially when the girl would have grown up enough to realize that something was wrong. Deaf or not, she would have found out about her parents' rows sooner or later.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Okay, there weren't many documents in that house. We have the names of the people who bought the house, but they were renting it out. The little girl's parents had simply been tenants. The owners don't know much about them, except that it was usually the woman who paid and she simply used a surname that we are not sure is real or fake" summarized Warrick, looking wearily at his other two team members.

"They simply let out their house like that?" asked Nick in disbelief.

Sara ran a hand through her hair. "The owners are rich; they have many houses that they simply rent out. As long as the tenants pay up, they ask no questions and let them be," she explained.

"The documents that we did find were only bills and receipts. If there was a birth certificate or anything, it wasn't in that house. Or it's in someplace we didn't look," said Warrick.

"Maybe the mother kept her documents in another place which she thought was safer. Since her husband had a tendency to beat the crap out of her. She probably didn't trust him and wanted to make sure that the documents were secure. I doubt he handled many important documents," surmised Nick.

"That's a real possibility. So right now we have nothing but the child herself and whatever we can get from questioning her," said Warrick, with a frown.

"We should ask her what her name is and stop calling her `the little girl' or `the child'," said Sara quietly.

Warrick sighed and Nick looked ashamed.

"You're right Sar. We should do that," Nick said and looked at Warrick.

"Yes, we should. But we have to wait for Social Services to bring her in later. We already told them that we need to talk to her. The lady said it would be okay as long as we don't traumatize her further," said Warrick gravely.

The other two gave him withering looks.

"Okay, okay, that's just what she said okay? Not my words, I know you guys are not gonna traumatize her further," said Warrick, holding up his hands defensively against the looks.

"She's really beautiful. Her mother was definitely a head- turner," commented Nick, recalling the images on the photographs in the house that they had processed.

"All that beauty, but what did it get her? A place in a missing or presumed dead file at the LVPD," said Sara sadly.

"Why couldn't she just take her daughter and leave? It's obvious that the little girl loves her mother and that must be for very good reasons," wondered Sara.

"Sometimes, it's just not that easy," said Nick after a pause. He remembered the domestic abuse cases he been called to. The women were smart but for various reasons could not leave. Some of the women, who did leave, had ended up dead. It was a cruel world.

"Maybe she thought that it would be best for the girl if she did stay. The girl was never hurt as far as we can tell. Maybe the father loved her and some women would stay just to give their children what they think is a stable family," theorized Warrick. From his experience in handling domestic abuse cases and from his memories while growing up in the poorer part of town, he knew that there were many factors that prevented a woman from just walking out.

"We still have a lot of things to do," said Sara, coming back to the task at hand.

"Yeah," agreed Nick.

"Sara, you and I will talk to the girl when she gets here, since we met her at the scene. Is that okay with you?" asked Warrick, as Sara was leaving the room.

"Sure, I'm waiting for some results from the evidence we gathered, so I'm going to help Grissom out with something for a bit. Just page me," answered Sara.

Warrick shook his head in resignation as she left. He made eye contact with Nick, who also looked unhappy. They both wondered why some women chose to love men who would not love them back. Grissom would never lay a hand on Sara. But from what they had seen, it would be unlikely that he would ever love her in return. Sara just couldn't or wouldn't see that.

In a way, it was akin to the case that they were investigating. The woman was beautiful and could probably have many men swooning at her feet. But she chose to stay with someone who regularly abused her and hurt her physically and emotionally. Neither understood clearly either woman's reasons for their actions.

"See ya later man," said Nick, also leaving.

"Yeah," replied Warrick shortly.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Hello, my name is Warrick and this is my friend Sara," said Warrick gently with a smile, as he pointed to his female teammate.

"Hi there," said Sara, with a smile of her own and a small wave.

"Hello," said the little girl sweetly. It appeared that she could talk, at least a little bit.

"We met you at your house last night, remember?" asked Warrick, taking his time to ease the child into the conversation.

The girl nodded solemnly.

"Okay, we told you our names. Now can you please tell us your name?" said Sara.

The little girl looked back at them after her interpreter finished signing. Clearly and surely she answered "Lindsay."

"That's a very pretty name," said Warrick, leaning back.

The two CSIs were trying as hard as possible to make this easy on the little girl. Instead of questioning her at the station, Warrick had opted to drive him and Sara over to Social Services to talk to her in a room there.

Currently, they were in a bright, sunlit with colourful furniture and decorations. There were a few toys scattered around the place as well. Social Services had provided them with an interpreter for sign language, who was experienced in working with traumatized children.

"So Lindsay, how old are you now?" continued Warrick.

Sara was content to let him lead for now. He seemed to have a better affinity for children than she did.

Lindsay carefully held up five fingers, using one hand.

"Five years old? My, you're pretty grown-up already huh?" said Warrick with a smile.

Lindsay may not have been able to hear his actual words, but his expression and body language conveyed a lot. She smiled a smile at him.

Warrick was very relieved to find that Lindsay seemed to be able to answer questions well. He had been observing her as soon as she walked into the room with the interpreter, clutching her teddy bear in one arm. Sara had been correct; at least the mother had loved her. The little girl was reasonably bright and well-adjusted. She didn't seem too terrified at the strange circumstances she had landed in, thus far.

Warrick knew how an abused child acted. They lacked self- confidence and were generally nervous or too timid. They were the products of their environment and it usually showed. Lindsay seemed to be, by all accounts, a well-loved and well-brought up child.

"Okay, Lindsay, can you tell me, what your mommy's name is?" asked Warrick.

Lindsay thought for a little while. Then she signed to the interpreter one word.

"Mommy," was the answer.

Warrick allowed himself a grin. Sara smiled.

"We know you call her mommy, Lindsay. But what did other people call her? She had a name too, like yours is Lindsay," explained Warrick.

The interpreter signed and probably added some explanations of her own, to help clarify what they wanted.

Lindsay hugged her bear and thought some more.

"Cathy," she signed, with a bit of trouble with the spelling. The interpreter watched her carefully and tried to tell the CSIs the name she spelled out.

"That's great, give me a high five," cheered Warrick.

Sara was taking down notes. So the mother probably had the first name Catherine or Cathleen. It was a reasonable beginning.

Lindsay looked at him critically first, then consented to high-five him, with her tiny hand.

"Do you know your Daddy's name, Lindsay?" asked Warrick, after they settled back down into their seats.

Lindsay thought for a moment, and then shook her head.

"Okay, do you know what your surname is then?" asked Warrick again.

It took the interpreter some time to explain to Lindsay what they wanted. But although they found out that she did know, she simply could not spell it out yet. She did know that it started with the alphabet `W'.

"Right, now we need to ask a few questions about that night," said Warrick slowly.

Lindsay looked at him.

"Can you tell me what happened the night before?" asked Warrick.

"Mommy put me to bed. She said a silly story and kissed me," Lindsay stopped.

"Then you went to sleep?" prodded Warrick.

"Yes and Mommy didn't wake me up. Usually, Mommy opens the windows and wakes up with a kiss, like the princess," said Lindsay.

"Then what happened?" asked Warrick.

"I went to find Mommy, but I couldn't. I look and look. And I hungry, and I cried but Mommy didn't come," said Lindsay, tears starting to flood her blue eyes, as she recalled the awful experience.

They waited for her to continue of her own accord.

"Then I falls asleep, but Mommy still haven't come," moaned Lindsay pitifully.

"Did you go outside?" asked Warrick, to try and get more information.

"Mommy said I must never go out alone. I can be lost. But maybe Mommy got lost. So I go out to find Mommy," explained Lindsay.

"But you couldn't find her," said Warrick.

"Can you find Mommy?" asked the intelligent child.

Lindsay looked at him beseechingly, Warrick would have promised her the moon, there and then if she'd wanted it. Unfortunately, there was no guarantee that he could grant her wish.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"We didn't get very much," commented Sara, as she sat in the Tahoe, on the way back to the CSI lab.

Warrick sighed, "She's just a little kid, Sara. She did the best she could. Besides, she couldn't hear a thing. Which is a blessing if you ask me."

Sara glanced over at her partner. He was annoyed with her comment.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I meant that we don't have much to go on. How are we going to start looking for her parents now?" she said contritely.

Warrick stayed silent for a moment. He concentrated on driving through the pouring rain. It was a wet day. He was tired as they had all been on double shifts.

"We start by comparing DNA, I suppose," he replied.

Sara's eyes went wide.

"That's like looking for a needle in a haystack. A very big haystack," she commented.

"Besides which databases? He'll only be on if he's a criminal or in the public sector. It's a real long shot," said Sara.

"Do you have any better ideas?" he asked tiredly.

Sara looked at him. She slumped back into her seat.

"No, not right now," she admitted.

"We'll have Greg run an automated search. No one has called to ask about Lindsay so far. But we do have a sample of her DNA. I know it's a really long shot but until and unless we find anything else, it's best we get started on that," said Warrick.

Sara took in his weary countenance and checked herself in the mirror. She looked quite as bad. It's a wonder they hadn't scared little Lindsay off back there.

"We all need sleep, then maybe we'll find something new, after we get some rest," said Sara.

Warrick let out a snort of disbelief.

"Sara Sidle admits that she needs sleep?" he guffawed.

Sara punched him lightly in the arm.

"I never said I didn't need sleep," she argued petulantly.

"Yeah right," Warrick rolled his eyes.

"Fine, I get overexcited sometimes," admitted Sara grudgingly.

"Girl, I didn't even know that you knew the meaning of sleep until now," teased Warrick.

Sara folded her arms and huffed in annoyance.

Warrick decided to give her a break.

"Okay, you're right. Why don't you give Nick a call to get his gear and we'll all grab something to eat before we go back and crash," said Warrick.

"Sounds good," replied Sara, taking out her cell-phone.

She talked to Nick for a while and hung up.

"So what do you want to eat?" asked Warrick.

"Anything," answered Sara, who was starting to feel the fatigue in her body.

"Anything?" queried Warrick, with a laugh in his voice.

"You take me to a steakhouse, and I'll give you hell for a week," said Sara, sternly.

"Well you did say anything," smiled Warrick.

"Don't even think about it," smiled Sara, who started to close her eyes.

"Hey Sara, you ever think about having a kid?" asked Warrick suddenly.

The unexpected question caused Sara to open her eyes wide. For some inexplicable reason, she saw an image of a little girl with dark skin, curly hair and laughing dark eyes. She blinked.

"Umm, not really no," she stammered in reply. Where had that come from?

"Huh, just a question," said the driver of the vehicle.

"We're reaching," he announced unnecessarily. The rain had stopped, more or less.

Sara was now wide awake after the image that had just flashed in her mind. It was probably because Lindsay had been so adorable. Her maternal instincts had started to act up. But that did not explain why the little girl she saw, had eyes and a complexion like Warrick.

"I really need some sleep," she said rubbing her eyes.

Warrick started to eye her worriedly, it was very unusual that Sara had mentioned about the need for sleep. It was extremely unusual to have her say it twice.

"You okay?" he asked in concern, opening the door for her.

"Yeah," said Sara, who suddenly found herself face to face with Warrick, as she climbed out of the Tahoe.

They both looked into each other's eyes.

"Great timing, guys! Let's eat," came Nick's voice, breaking the moment.

Warrick turned to Nick hurriedly and Sara stood beside the vehicle and composed herself.

That was weird, thought both Warrick and Sara. They were extremely grateful to have Nick around.

Warrick went to get Greg to start the DNA comparisons. Sara went to get her stuff. Just finishing off another day at work.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Oh God, the machine is broken," was Greg's first thought when he read through the results that the computer gave him.

His eyes bulged out as he checked and rechecked the results thoroughly. He was so stunned and engrossed in what he was doing, that he didn't notice that his chair had rolled back and that he was leaning too far forward.

"Aaaagggghhhhh!" was the loud yell, when Greg fell onto the tiled floor.

Some heads turned to look, but then they simply went back to work. The young lab tech was known for being somewhat noisy and eccentric, when excited. Which was quite often.

Greg worked furiously to counter check the results that had turned up for the case Warrick had given him. It simply couldn't be true.

But no matter how hard Greg tried, he couldn't find any evidence that the computer was in fact, faulty or that the program was damaged. Still his brain couldn't fathom the printed results that he held in his hands.

He couldn't ask another tech to check this, since if it was true, then what? Greg thought over his options. This time, he was so shocked that he actually sat down to think.

"I need to call Warrick," was his definite conclusion.

Greg glanced at his watch.

"Well, being early never hurt anyone," he decided.

He called a rather disgruntled Warrick, who was severely irritated at being woken up. He wasn't due in for another couple of hours at least.

Warrick was tempted to simply go back to bed when Greg refused to tell him why he wanted Warrick to come in now. But there was an urgency in Greg's voice that piqued his curiosity, what had Greg so worked up?

Warrick knew that Greg wouldn't simply call him out of bed if it weren't something very important. Or at least, Warrick hoped that he didn't dare to. If this was not as important as Greg claimed, Greg was so going to pay.

"Look at the matching alleles," said Greg, handing over the results to Warrick.

"Seven are a match. So you found her father, was that so important Greg? You could've just…," Warrick could feel his temper rising, as he was cut off by Greg.

"Read the father's name," said Greg.

Warrick gave him a mean look.

"What the hell?" was his exclamation, when the name registered in his brain.

"Did you check to make sure?" asked Warrick.

Even before he finished his question, Greg was nodding vehemently.

Greg started explaining that he had put the little girl's DNA sequence into an automated program to find matching sequences. As Sara said, it was like looking for a needle in a haystack and Greg had expected it to take forever without coming up with a result, possibly. The program had to start somewhere and automatically ran comparisons with their own staff first, as an elimination process. Then it would start comparisons with other databases.

"You're sure?" asked Warrick again.

"Check it out, man. You can go over everything I did. I was expecting it to run for at least 24 hours minimum, but the results turned up in like less than an hour," said Greg, gesturing wildly.

Warrick took a deep breath and exhaled. This definitely warranted Greg dragging him out of bed. Now Warrick was extremely grateful that the lab tech had chosen to tell him this information and not just rushed to announce his startling discovery to the whole team.

"I'm pretty sure you did good, Greg. But I'm going to check this, just to make sure. Now you need to keep your mouth shut and not tell anyone about this right now. We clear?" said Warrick commandingly.

Greg nodded soberly.

"Okay, so let's go over this together," said Warrick.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Grissom looked at Warrick, steadily.

"How did you find out about this?" he asked in a calm voice.

Warrick envied the man his cool exterior. Nothing seemed to shake him. He started by telling Grissom about the case that he and the rest had been called to and finished by explaining how Greg had discovered the information.

Grissom removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He closed them for a moment.

"I didn't know, Warrick. I never knew that," said Grissom slowly.

"That I had a child," he said it haltingly, slowly.

Warrick looked at him, "Yeah, I figured that you didn't know," he said.

"Greg…" started Grissom.

"Will keep his mouth shut, no one knows but myself and him and now you," said Warrick firmly.

"Thanks," said Grissom, quietly.

"The rest is up to you, Gris. She's a lovely child. No matter what her mother may have done," said Warrick.

"Her mother? I need to see her pictures. I'm pretty sure I know who it is, but I just want to be sure," Grissom's voice wavered slightly.

Warrick was reassured that the man had some emotions.

"Sure, I'll bring them in," said Warrick helpfully.

Grissom held up a hand.

"Not yet, just give me some time, I'll let you know when I want to see them," said Grissom staring off into space.

"Yeah, I'll just close the door," said Warrick, understandingly. He saw that Grissom probably hadn't even heard him say that. He left quietly.

Warrick mused silently over the unexpected turn of events. Lindsay was Grissom's biological daughter. What a terrible way to find out.

Warrick started to wonder about her mother. He hadn't even asked Grissom her name, instinctively getting the feeling that no matter how calm he looked on the outside, his boss still did need time to process this information.

What a way to find out that you have a daughter, mused Warrick again. He was intensely curious as to how this could be.

He knew that Grissom probably had dated before, but the man was generally so aloof and unsociable. Sara had a crush on him certainly. But why? He still didn't understand the attraction.

How had he come to have a child with the beautiful strawberry- blonde in the pictures at the house? Warrick was sure, even without a DNA comparison that the child was her biological daughter. They looked alike enough, mother and daughter.

The woman, Catherine, maybe? She looked like a vibrant and passionate individual. Grissom was passionate about his work sure, but to have attracted such a woman?

That was simply too much. Warrick was dying to get to the bottom of it all. But he couldn't, not right now. He would just have to wait and see.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

* Flashback *

Gil Grissom looked around the beautiful hotel lobby. It was lavishly furnished, after all this was Vegas, no one expected any less.

There were many people milling around. Some were chatting amiably, some were flirting, others were observing or simply in a world of their own. Grissom wondered idly what stories each had to tell.

It was a nice change to come back for a while, even if it was only for a few days for a conference. San Francisco didn't have the kind of character that Las Vegas possessed. San Francisco was a sunnier and less sinister place. In Vegas, the sinister seemed to seep through the veil, it was normally enclosed in. It gave the place a sensual and dangerous atmosphere.

Grissom looked around for a while longer and decided that he would go out for a walk. He had only taken a few steps forward, when someone literally crashed headlong into him.

The momentum threw him off balance and he landed on his back on the floor. With a pile of books scattered around him and a head of strawberry blonde, sprawled on his chest.

There was a low groan of frustration. It appeared to come from the strawberry-blonde.

"Damnit!" was the first word spoken.

Grissom simply blinked and tried to get the world in focus. He looked cautiously at the woman who was gingerly lifting herself off the floor.

He saw more than shining strawberry-blonde hair this time. He saw azure blue eyes and a luscious mouth. He saw fine and delicate features on smooth porcelain skin. He saw a vision of beauty that astounded him beyond words.

"I am so sorry, sir. I just wasn't looking," said the beautiful unknown apologetically.

Grissom was amazed to hear himself reassure her that it was quite all right. One part of his brain marvelled that he could still speak properly.

She held out a hand to help him up, uncaring of the books and sheets of paper that were strewn around. There were many people around, but most were too engrossed in their own worlds. Some had turned to look, but turned back when no one had seemed hurt. The carpeted floor had prevented the fall from generating a lot of noise and attracting more attention.

Grissom accepted the hand and let her pull him up. He was intrigued by the fact that she had such a strong firm grip, for someone who looked rather fragile to his eyes.

She smiled wanly at him. Then she bent down to collect her belongings. He bent down too. Together, they recovered the stack of books and papers in very little time. They moved in perfect tandem, working at opposite angles and gathering things efficiently.

Grissom had never met anyone that amazed him and fascinated him more than this gorgeous woman. He didn't think he'd ever expected to.

"Thanks, and again I am very sorry about this," said the woman, when they had finished.

Grissom was reluctant to let her leave, but could not figure out how to make her stay.

"That's all right really. No harm done," he said with a smile.

"My name's Gil Grissom, by the way," said Grissom extending his hand.

She smiled demurely and reached over to shake his hand, "Catherine Reed."

"Couldn't get away from a conference session fast enough?" were the next words that came out of his mouth.

Grissom still wondered how he could actually sound quite normal. No one would guess that he was feeling rather desperate and anxious. This woman made his emotions go absolutely haywire. And they had only just met.

Catherine laughed.

Grissom felt wonderful that he'd been able to make her laugh and grateful that he could see her laugh. She looked like an angel. He mentally advised himself to "Get a grip on it."

"Actually no. The seminar was great but the phone call after that was the reason I plowed into you like a runaway train," she said with a smile.

"Ah, well. So you have to be somewhere in a hurry?" asked Grissom, already feeling his euphoria plummet at the thought.

"I just needed to find a place to scream, but people would think I'd gone mad, so I walked as fast as possible," answered Catherine.

Grissom was unsure of what exactly she was saying and why she was still talking to him. But he definitely wanted to prolong it.

"You're interested in blood spatter then?" was the next question. He'd noticed the titles of the books and what was on some of the papers.

"Yes, I'm a part time student. I came for the free sessions," said Catherine, a bit defiantly.

Grissom smiled warmly, "That's great. I'm an entomologist and a CSI myself; anything to do with collecting evidence and forensics is an interest."

She looked at him quizzically.

"Bugs? How would they help in gathering evidence?" she asked curiously.

"Don't underestimate the little creatures. They are extremely important in describing the circumstances of a crime. The best thing is that they never lie," answered Grissom patiently.

Her eyes went wide.

"Oh, you're Dr. Gil Grissom, you did a session on `The Convergence of Entomology and Forensics'," said Catherine with slight emphasis on the word `Dr.'.

Grissom bowed his head slightly in acknowledgement.

Catherine looked wistful, "Wow, sounds very interesting, but I didn't sign up for the sessions which required a fee. I didn't think you'd be so young. A friend of mine, who is studying forensics too, went for that session. She said it was fascinating, even if you don't like bugs."

Grissom's heart did a decided flip.

"Well if you're free now, I could tell you a bit about what you missed," he offered casually.

Inwardly, his heart thumped wildly and he fought to refrain from clenching his hands.

"Really?" said Catherine, surprised.

"We could get a drink at the hotel café and I could tell you a few things, answer a few questions, if you'd like. Don't worry, I'm not dangerous. You can ask the organizers to vouch for me," said Grissom.

"Hmmm, but would they know the real you?" she asked teasingly.

Catherine appeared to think it over. She casually looked him over and hugged her books to her.

"Okay, sounds great. But would you mind walking to another café nearby? There are too many people here," she made a slight face.

"Sure, not a problem," he agreed easily. His heart did another somersault.

He held out his arms for her books.

She looked at him without understanding.

"My mother taught me to always help a lady if I could," he explained, with a smile.

Catherine smiled. This time her smile seemed to have elements of disbelief and irony in it. But she surrendered her books to him.

He also gestured for her to precede him out of the door. A perfect gentleman.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Gil Grissom still remembered vividly that first meeting with the only woman who had ever captured his heart. She still held it captive even after all these years. No one else had come close.

* Flashback *

Gil Grissom wasn't quite sure if this was simply the most wonderful dream that he had ever dreamed or that he had died somewhere along the way and had gone up to heaven. Either way, the only thing he knew for sure was that he never wanted this to end and he never wanted Catherine to leave his side.

They had spent hours talking over coffee at a small and quiet diner, a road away from the hotel. It had been a blissful few hours, during which they had talked about anything and everything they wanted to. They had talked for so long that they had ended up having dinner as well.

Grissom had never felt so comfortable talking to another person. Much less a woman so beautiful and smart. It was obvious that she was quite a few years younger than himself. He was already sporting a few strands of silver hair, he'd noticed. It didn't seem to bother her in the very least.

"Gil?" said the voice of his personal angel, drawing him back to the present.

Catherine smiled at him, as his eyes focused on her. Such a perfect smile on such a ravishing beauty. Grissom could not find enough words to convey how divine he thought she was.

Grissom smiled back at her.

"It's getting rather late," she said gently.

Grissom felt a pang of distress as he hurriedly glanced at his watch. It was half past midnight. They had been talking for more than seven hours!

"Um, yeah," was his only response. His disappointment at the thought of leaving her side was slowly starting to suffocate him, choking him.

"Would you like to walk me back to my place? It's quite a distance but I quite enjoy it, if you don't mind. You could call a cab later," suggested Catherine.

"I'll walk you back," he answered immediately. He would do anything to stay with her longer.

"Thanks," she smiled and called a waitress to bring their bill.

Grissom swiftly took the bill before she could even glance at it.

Catherine gave him another peculiar smile. Not one of her bright, radiant ones that he lived to see. This one was slightly wistful and disbelieving.

Gil Grissom would never let a lady pay for a meal. In some ways he was extremely old-fashioned.

The walk was heavenly. Grissom was persuaded to let Catherine hold a few of the lighter books, so that she could hold his arm as they walked side-by-side. She pointed out a few places of interest and steered them towards her apartment.

Grissom felt that the stars had never been so bright or so wondrous. The night air was cool and invigorating. He wondered how he had ever lived before meeting her.

Grissom felt a sharp regret when they reached her apartment block and he walked her right up to her door. He watched her look through her purse for her keys as he continued to hold all of her books. He would now actually have to leave her. Appalling thought!

"There, come on in. You can leave the books on the table, thanks so much," said Catherine, leading the way.

The apartment was simple. There was not much furniture but it had been decorated with an elegant and feminine feel. Catherine did not have many things but what she had, she used to good effect.

Grissom set the books down on the table that she had indicated and glanced around. Catherine had gone into a room. He wondered what he was supposed to do now. Take his leave?

"I'd offer you coffee, but we already had quite a lot. Thanks very much for everything. You've been very sweet, considering the fact that I crashed into you," said Catherine sweetly. She had emerged in a white spaghetti strap top and white shorts.

Grissom's eyes went a little wider when he saw how she was now dressed. He swallowed past the lump in his throat and hoped that he sounded normal enough.

"It was my pleasure, really," answered Grissom.

He mentally chided himself for his uncontrollable reaction. He was rarely that much overcome by desire. But right now, he very much desired Catherine.

"So do you want to sit down for a bit or do you need to get back? Busy day tomorrow?" said Catherine, making herself comfortable on the couch.

Grissom couldn't believe his ears. She was inviting him to stay? He'd never leave.

He looked around again. And he opted to sit on the other end of the same couch. Catherine didn't seem to mind. They resumed their conversation.

After a while, Grissom realized that they had moved closer together. Catherine was actually leaning on his shoulder. He felt so comfortable. So at peace. He marvelled at the things that this woman made him feel. Had they really just met some hours ago?

When his thoughts drifted back, he found that Catherine had fallen asleep against him. She looked so innocent and peaceful. He couldn't wake her.

He reached over to grab the blanket he saw nearby and covered her with it. She snuggled up closer against him. Gingerly, he placed his arm around her. She made no protest.

He couldn't resist and ran a hand over her soft hair. He wanted this night to go on forever. Nothing else in the world mattered but Catherine. And she was secure enough with him to fall asleep. He was not offended or angry, simply grateful that she trusted him so much. He dare not close his eyes. He watched her sleep, until inevitably, his eyes closed of their own accord and he joined her in blissful slumber.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Grissom awoke to the vision of a pair of blue eyes, lazily scrutinizing his face. Catherine was using him as a pillow. She had one hand beneath her cheek and the other hand carelessly drawing circles on his chest. It was a wonderful way to wake up.

However, her teasing, light caresses were quickly causing parts of his anatomy to thoroughly wake up and start to throb. Even before Grissom's brain woke up properly, his body acted instinctively to the sexy woman lying on him. She was literally on top of him, their bodies in intimate contact. The couch did not give either of them much room to manoeuvre at all.

She grinned mischievously at him as the signs of his arousal became apparent. Grissom blushed uncomfortably. He had never been caught in such a position before. She could feel how he reacted to her, there was no denying anything.

Grissom looked at her, his face suffused with heat. Catherine smiled and pushed herself up to his face. He looked at her in askance. Slowly, she leaned down and captured his lips with hers.

Grissom was aware of nothing else but the exquisite sensations coursing through him as his lips met hers. Oh, what a taste of heaven! This was incredible, indescribable and so enchantingly addictive. He would never get enough.

They enjoyed exploring each other for many minutes, kissing and caressing. It was a wondrous, unhurried exploration. Catherine eventually let a hand drift down and start to unbutton the buttons on his shirt. That gave Grissom a jolt of reality.

He caught her hand in his and gently drew back from her lips. She was flushed and beautiful. She looked thoroughly kissed, incredibly sexy. He wanted her so badly.

But his common sense kicked in. This was going too fast. He wanted her to feel respected, not just lusted after. He wanted her to know that he was in love.

"I want," he gasped, hoarsely, trying to regain some control.

"I want to do this right," he said finally.

Catherine looked at him curiously. She seemed not to understand what he was trying to say.

"You, I want to treat you right. Not just some wild encounter on a couch," he said, thinking his words through.

"I want to date you, spend more time with you. I want our first time to be special. Preferably, on our wedding night," he said. Then he blanched in horror as he realized what he had just said. What an idiot! He'd probably just scared her to death.

"I mean," he tried to explain, to cover up his mistake. It was what he intended to do eventually, that was for sure. But they'd only just met. He'd meant to ask her later, not just blurt it out like that.

"Sssshhhh," said Catherine, with a finger to his lips.

Grissom realized with horror that she had tears in her eyes and that she had a sad expression on her face. He'd just made the biggest mistake of his life. And he was sure that he would pay dearly for it.

In a few moments, she would run away screaming or throw him out of her home. He would never see her again.

"Please," he begged.

Catherine laid her forehead on his tenderly. Grissom didn't understand. He did know that she wasn't throwing him out yet, which was a good thing.

"I love you," he said softly.

Catherine held his head and looked into his eyes.

"I know we just met, but I know I can't live without you. Please give me a chance. I've fallen in love with you," he said, gazing intensely into the blue eyes opposite his own. He willed her to believe him.

Catherine smiled. It was not a real smile, it was sad, bitter and had other elements that Grissom did not see nor understand. He could not know, that his words brought such despair, borne of regret for what could not be. Life simply did not have happily-ever-afters for Catherine Reed. There was only the here and now.

Catherine saw that he did not understand. She saw the hope and the love in his eyes. She felt like weeping. She had never before felt such pure devotion from anyone and she had yearned for it all her life. Would it be fair to simply taste heaven and give it back?

Looking at the man who stared at her, Catherine felt worshipped. She knew that he meant every word. He would love her and marry her. He would give her anything she asked for. She wondered how it would be like to feel such love and care directed solely at her, every day for the rest of her life. Oh, to be the recipient of such love each day! Surely, one day, not even a full day was not too much to ask?

Would it be too cruel to simply let him love her for a day? It would be better to tell him to go now. She would only break his heart anyway at the end of the day. But how Catherine ached to be held by loving arms and to just enjoy the sensation of being loved. She had never felt that in her entire life.

Catherine gazed at him and made her decision. Just one day. Just one.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Lost in his memories in the quiet solitude of his office, Grissom was unheeding of anything that went on beyond it. The blinds were shut and it was a little dark. He had not visited these memories in a long while. They had been mercilessly buried, pushed as far away as possible.

With the unexpected revelation that he had a daughter, everything had resurfaced. Nothing was ever simple, life was not so kind.

Grissom remembered her words on that glorious, fateful day, "I stopped believing in happily-ever-after a long time ago, Gil."

He had wanted to ask her why but she had kissed him and he had forgotten. He had never really understood anything then. He understood even less now.

The door suddenly burst open and Grissom was rudely jolted back into the present. Sara was standing in front of his desk, with an irate expression on her face. She was holding a file and talking loudly.

Grissom blinked and tried to focus on what she was saying.

"Our missing person just waltzed into the police station and demanded that we hand her back her daughter. She refuses to answer our questions and asked to see the person in charge. This is nuts! She insists that she and her daughter are fine thank you very much. Well she's not. She can barely walk at all, she's being unbelievable," said Sara in a loud and angry voice.

Someone had certainly ruffled her very badly, thought Grissom. He hoped he didn't end up with another headache from this one. He did not remember that Sara was working on the same case as Warrick.

"Sara, the lady is right here," said Nick's voice in a warning tone.

He had come in behind Sara and was apparently helping someone. Someone in a wheelchair, who was presumably the missing person Sara, was ranting about.

"Thank you," said a female voice softly.

Grissom froze.

"My pleasure ma'am. This is our supervisor Mr. Gil Grissom. I'm sure Warrick has briefed him about the details of your case. So he can clarify things with you. Frankly, at this point we're not very sure what to do. It isn't often that the person we're trying to find actually walks in the door," said Nick in his charming manner.

"I appreciate that," said the woman, who was seated on a wheelchair and still hidden behind Sara.

Sara gave an unladylike snort.

"Grissom, this is Mrs. Catherine Willows. She wants to find out what to do about getting her daughter back. She asked to see you," said Nick, addressing his supervisor.

Neither Sara nor Nick observed the myriad of emotions playing across the face of the normally unemotional Gil Grissom. Nick, because he was busy trying to find a good spot for the wheelchair. Sara, because she was too caught up in her own emotions.

"Sara, let's go," said Nick, quietly, but with an edge of warning in it.

Sara glared at him, but turned to go out. She ignored the woman in the wheelchair and walked pass her in a huff.

Nick sighed, "Sorry about that Mrs. Willows. Sara means well, she's just a little too uptight sometimes."

"Don't worry about it. Thank you very much for all your help, Mr. Stokes. I really appreciate it," said Catherine.

"Don't even mention it. It was a pleasure, ma'am," said Nick with a handsome grin.

"Catherine," she said, raising a hand.

"Then it's Nick," replied Nick, shaking the hand she held out lightly.

Grissom was unable to help himself and simply stared straight at her.

As so many years before, he marvelled at the remarkable woman before him. She was a sight to behold. A black eye, various bruises, lacerations and cuts mended by a number of stitches adorned her face. He had yet to observe the full extent of her injuries as she was seated in a wheelchair and he was behind his desk. She looked terrible, yet she still managed to look magnificent as well.

Nick was not immune to her charms, even in this state. The smile she bestowed on him may have turned out grotesque, from another woman in such a battered state. She made it look gracious and even pleasant. She definitely did not come under the category of ordinary.

Nick nodded to Grissom and left the office. He was caught slightly off-guard at the expression on his boss' face.

"Never seen him stupefied before," muttered Nick to himself. He wondered why, it certainly wasn't the first Grissom had seen a battered wife.

All Grissom's attention was fixed on the woman in the wheelchair before him.

Catherine fiddled with her purse, before sitting up straighter to look at him. She stared him straight in the eye, quite steadily.

"Mr. Grissom," she said, in a cold and formal voice.

Grissom barely suppressed a wince. Her voice had not been cold when he had been with her last. It had been sultry, wistful, warm, teasing or gentle, among other things. But it had never been cold.

He continued to look at her for a few minutes. Neither of them said a word. The tension in the small office was suffocating.

Finally, he cleared his throat to speak.

"Why?" he asked.

She looked at him without comprehension.

"Why didn't you tell me that we have a daughter?" he asked slowly.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"Sara, calm down. You shouldn't have said all that," said Nick, in exasperation.

The normally cool and collected Texan was starting to feel his temper flare up as he watched his infuriating teammate pace up and down the break room. She was still protesting angrily about Mrs. Willows' appearance and demands.

Nick had been trying to get her to calm down for the past quarter of an hour at least and see reason. He thought that Sara owed the woman an apology. After all the poor lady had been through, she certainly hadn't deserved Sara's tantrum.

Yet Mrs. Willows had handled Sara with calm and poise. She had not been brusque or rude to the younger woman, simply firm but polite. Nick had amassed a great deal of respect for the injured woman in the wheelchair. He wondered what her story was.

Warrick came into the break room to investigate the cause of the raised voices. He had gone to get something to eat, with Greg in tow. Just to be safe, he had drilled it over and over again into Greg, that what he knew had to stay under wraps for now.

Greg, who lived to spread gossip, was made to promise that he would not, under any circumstances reveal the information to anyone. Or Warrick would have his head. Greg had grumbled a bit about dictators, but had promised.

Warrick had been fair and told him, that it was news to Grissom too. Greg had grumbled less and lapsed into silence. He respected his boss tremendously. Greg sincerely promised not to divulge the secret.

But inwardly, Greg groaned. It was sheer agony to know something like this and not tell anyone! This was torture. He could not have known that he would be able to talk about it to others, sooner than he expected.

Warrick looked at Nick with a question in his eyes, when he entered and found Sara pacing and ranting angrily. He turned his attention to Nick, as Sara was obviously too annoyed to answer him right now.

Nick sighed and met his eyes.

"Lindsay's mother came in," explained Nick.

Warrick's eyebrows lifted up. But he kept his cool.

"Uh huh. And her?" he said, pointing to the still pacing Sara.

Warrick's mind was in overdrive. He was shocked and acutely disappointed that he had not been able to meet the lady himself. Such lousy timing!

Warrick quickly glanced at the highly irritated Sara. She couldn't have found out yet. Could she? No, Nick didn't look shocked, just annoyed. He assumed that Nick would be in a bigger state of shock, should he have found out what the woman's connection to Grissom was. Sara must be fuming over something else. It didn't take much to set her off, he knew.

"Mrs. Willows came in and wanted to get her daughter back. Sara wanted to errr, process her. But she said she was fine and requested to see Grissom," said Nick, shortly.

Sara, had finally caught sight of Warrick. He gave her a quelling look. She didn't say anything but stopped pacing and went to sit on the couch, folding her arms across her chest.

"She wanted to see Grissom?" echoed Warrick, in a disbelieving tone.

Nick was surprised at his tone.

"Yeah, she wanted to get her daughter back and we weren't sure what to do. So she said she wanted to see the person in charge. We tried to find you but you were out. So we took her to see Grissom," related Nick.

"Right," conceded Warrick. He mentally chided himself for the slip in tone. Now he had made Nick realize that something was up.

"What's up, man?" asked Nick. He sensed that Warrick knew something more.

"Nothing, so we're gonna get new cases tonight huh?" said Warrick, evading Nick's prying eyes.

Nick looked over at Sara.

"Yeah, looks like it. Unless the lady presses charges against her husband," said Nick, resolving to press Warrick on what he knew, when he next found the opportunity.

"The bastard should be hanged. But then she probably won't. And they'll give her back her daughter, and it will just go on and on until she dies or they both do," interjected Sara.

Both men looked at her. Her voice was still harsh and angry, but she refused to look up at them. They knew that violence towards women and children always hit a sore spot with Sara.

"She was hurt?" asked Warrick, softly.

"Yeah, pretty banged up. She came in a wheelchair," said Nick sadly.

Warrick winced at the thought.

"That bad huh?" said Warrick.

Nick nodded.

Warrick and Nick looked at each other for a moment.

"Well, I'm going to inform Brass. I don't think anyone's told him yet. I'll be back for assignments," said Nick, leaving the room.

Warrick moved to sit next to Sara.

"Sara?" he said gently.

She refused to meet his gaze.

"Sara," he said again, leaning in closer and placing his fingers under her chin.

He turned her face towards his. Her eyes were bright with unshed tears.

Sara quickly lowered her eyes and pulled away.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" said Warrick, keeping a firm hold on her arm.

Sara stayed silent.

Warrick heaved a sigh.

"Sara, talk to me. You can't keep it all locked up," said Warrick, in a caring voice, pulling her back down onto the couch.

"She won't let us help her," said Sara finally, in a small, lost voice.

Warrick simply looked at her and waited for her to continue.

"She can't even walk. But she says everything is fine. And she wants to take Lindsay home," continued Sara.

She finally looked up at Warrick, with despair in her eyes.

"What's going to happen to Lindsay? They'll let her take Lindsay, I know they will. Beautiful, sweet Lindsay. What if she gets hurt the next time?" asked Sara, miserably.

Warrick felt his chest tighten in pain at the thought and he looked back at her in sorrow. Sara still held back her tears desperately.

There was nothing to say really. Even with what Warrick knew, he couldn't be sure that what Sara predicted would not happen eventually.

He gave her arm a comforting squeeze. He did not know if she would welcome a hug or not. Sara was sometimes difficult to read. And he wasn't sure that she would accept a hug from him, anyway.

They stayed in that position for a few minutes. Then Sara took a deep breath.

"Thanks. I need to go wash my face," she said.

Warrick released her arm.

Sara stopped, took his hand and squeezed it. She didn't say anything more, just left the room.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"What do you mean? I simply want my daughter back. We need to go home," said Catherine Willows, staring at Grissom, unflinchingly. There was an emphasis on the word `my'.

Grissom didn't know how to handle this situation. It was all so sudden and thoroughly unexpected. It had been an ordinary day so far. Right up until the moment when Warrick had told him to read a set of printed results.

It had been a long time since Gil Grissom had felt waves of contrasting emotions surge through him. He was normally a man of calm temperament, not given over to strong, uncontrollable emotions. He had not felt with such passion, in a long time.

Seeing her in such a state. Hearing her voice and her words. It was too much. Too suddenly. Grissom's emotions quickly advanced from merely being in turmoil to become a raging tempest of gigantic proportions. No one else had the ability to turn his world upside down, every single time.

"Enough with the games, Catherine. I know," he said harshly. More harshly than he had intended.

She still held his gaze.

"I know that Lindsay is my daughter too. We did a DNA test. The evidence, doesn't lie," he said bitterly.

Her face registered shock. But it was quickly hidden behind her mask of composure. She hadn't expected this, he concluded.

"Didn't you know? Did you seduce so many men that you didn't know who her father was?" he said asked, cruelly.

Catherine did not flinch. But he could see that the shot hit home. Her good eye gave her away. He could read her emotions there.

Grissom was feeling furious, shocked, confused and a lot more. This was a turn of events that he had never fathomed in his wildest dreams.

He grinned morosely to himself. That was what he had thought when he had first met her then too.

There was an uncomfortable silence. Grissom wondered what she would say next. The ball was in her court now.

"She's one of the best things that's ever happened to me. She's legally deaf but so smart. She likes bugs too. I still don't," were her next words.

Grissom was unprepared for the rush of love he felt for a daughter he'd never met, just from her description. The wonderful feeling called love, softened his harsh mood.

"Did you know that she is mine?" he asked.

There were probably other things that he should be asking her. But right now, that was the main thing that he wanted to know. Did she?

Catherine didn't hesitate. She gave a slight nod.

At the sight of her nod, another wave of powerful emotions swept through Grissom. Disbelief, elation, fury and many many more. She had known. For the past six years, she had known.

And this brought him back to his first question.

"Why didn't you tell me about her?" he asked, quietly. In a voice full of sorrow and regret.

"I made my choices. We can't change the past. Just help me to get my daughter back and we'll be gone before you know it," she said clearly.

Grissom exploded. He jumped out of his chair.

"What the hell are you talking about? I just found out that I have a daughter. I am not letting you take her away from me just like that! I am her father! She is my daughter too. I have rights. I'll fight you for her," he shouted at the top of his voice, uncaring of whoever heard him. He was not just going to let her take his daughter and disappear from his life. He could not live through that again.

This time her eyes registered fear and shock. He was finally penetrating the cold mask on her face. Her eyes widened.

Grissom took a deep shuddering breath to calm himself. He could never hold it together around this woman. She made him react in ways he'd never thought possible. What was it about her that always made him react, instead of act rationally when he was around her?

"I'm sorry," whispered Catherine.

Grissom found, to his dismay, that she sounded like she was about to cry. She bent her head and looked down.

After all that she had done, he still couldn't bear the thought of her crying. Why did she have so much power over him? It just wasn't fair. But it was a fact of life. He didn't understand it at all.

He walked over warily to the other side of his desk. He kneeled down beside her wheelchair. Carefully, slowly, he took one of her hands in his.

"Please don't cry," he said softly, regretting his outburst already.

She didn't look at him. She was crying silently. Her eyes were closed. She was not sobbing or sniffing, just tears falling from her eyes. She made no sound except for her breathing.

Grissom stayed next to her. He waited. He didn't know what else to do. He wanted to dry her tears but he dare not touch her. He was too afraid that he would hurt her. Grissom didn't want to add to her pain.

"Please don't take her from me," she said finally.

Grissom looked at her. Catherine had opened her eyes.

"Please," she begged.

A scene from their past drifted back to Grissom. Only now the scene was reversed. He had begged her to let him stay; now she begged him to let her keep her daughter. How had they come to this miserable place?


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Outside the small office that belonged to Grissom, people were talking. In the first place, Grissom was late in giving out assignments. As Nick, Sara and Warrick had been working on the Willows' case; they had not known exactly what to do. Should they continue with it or would they be reassigned new cases?

They had been waiting for their supervisor to come and give them instructions on what to do. The Willows' case had yet to be formally closed. Recent events had been a highly irregular occurrence. They wondered how to proceed.

When Nick had returned from briefing Brass, or so he had claimed, he found that Sara had settled down already. He was quite relieved. Sometimes, he could handle Sara, but sometimes, she was just too much. He admitted to himself that this time, it was probably because her attitude towards Mrs. Willows had grated harshly on his nerves. Nick was always a gentleman to others, no matter what the circumstances.

Warrick was standing up but doing nothing. He had a distracted look on his face. Nick was grateful that he had calmed Sara down. Personally, he thought that if the two of them got together, it would help Sara be a bit more stable. Granted, it was not really something that was likely to happen.

Nick pondered on Warrick's demeanour tonight. There was something he was hiding. Of that, Nick was nearly a hundred percent sure. Of what, Nick was less sure. It may have something to do with this case, but he would tell them right? Warrick was a good team member. Except for the times when he decided to play `lone ranger' on something.

Nick wondered how to tackle the question. He probably wouldn't get an answer if he just asked Warrick straight out. Warrick could be harder to crack than a diamond, if he wanted to be. Nick turned over a few options in his head.

"He's late," said Sara, suddenly.

Warrick and Nick both glanced down at their watches. Sara was right. Grissom was ten minutes late. He was usually early, if not on time.

Warrick was unsurprised, of course. He didn't think that Grissom would be watching the clock, considering the woman who was now sitting with him in his office. He wouldn't be surprised if the confrontation took hours and then some.

"He's never late," said Nick, thoughtfully.

"He must still be helping Mrs. Willows. Let's just wait a bit," said Warrick.

Sara was not content to just let it be. But she sank back down into the couch.

They waited for some time. Suddenly they heard shouting. It was coming from Grissom's office!

The three of them looked at each other in amazement. They had never heard their boss yell loud enough to carry into the break room. All three moved towards the door of Grissom's office quickly.

It was Grissom's voice. He sounded positively livid. No one knew that he had such a powerful voice. It was likely that he had not realized it himself. His voice rang out clearly into the corridor.

Nick, Sara and Warrick managed to hear the words "…..I am her father! She is my daughter too. I have rights. I'll fight you for her," quite clearly.

The rest of the people who had been in the corridor earlier must have heard more.

Greg was there, his mouth open in shock. He always seemed to be in the right place, at the right time.

Everyone looked at each other in bewilderment. Grissom had a daughter? It didn't make sense to most of them.

But to Nick, Sara, Warrick and Greg, it did. To Warrick and Greg more than the other two. To Nick and Sara, it was the most unexpected thing on earth.

They were both very smart. They both had surmised that Lindsay was Catherine Willows' daughter. But to hear Grissom shout those words meant….

"Lindsay's his daughter?" asked Sara, her face ashen.

Nick met her eyes, his own mirroring her shock at the discovery.

Warrick and Greg were listening closely. They had the benefit of already knowing beforehand and were curious about what was going on in that office. Their boss had never ever been so vocal.

There was silence. There was not much to hear. Now there was no more shouting.

Warrick came to his senses and pulled himself together.

"Okay, people, let's get back to work. Come on, there's nothing more to see or hear. Let's go," he announced to everyone in front of Grissom's office.

They started to move away reluctantly.

Warrick tapped both Sara and Nick.

"We'll ask Brass about our assignments tonight. Come on," he said resolutely.

He took Sara's arm and gently led her away. Nick simply followed them, silently.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

"Mommy!" squealed Lindsay in delight.

It did not seem to bother her in the least, that her mother was covered in cuts and bruises and that she was in a wheelchair. Both these obvious facts bothered all the adults who watched the little girl run to her mother joyfully.

They had come to the conclusion that it was not an out-of- the-ordinary occurrence for Lindsay to see her mother this way. That in itself was a highly disturbing thought. The other thought that ran through all their minds was a question. How could Catherine allow this?

Catherine had done wonders in masking her injuries. That was for sure. She had expertly applied make-up to disguise as much of her injuries, as possible. She had also worn clothes that somehow managed to downplay the extent of her injuries. She must have had a lot of experience in doing this.

Catherine smiled happily, as Lindsay ran to her and gave her a hug. The adults saw the flash of pain that crossed her face, when little Lindsay hugged her a bit too hard. But Lindsay couldn't see it.

Catherine's face immediately changed into a beaming smile as soon as she pulled away from the hug. Lindsay was talking non-stop to her adored mother. She used her voice and her hands, when she had finished the hug.

Catherine smiled and responded happily to her cheery daughter. The others looked on, from the other room, with a multitude of mixed feelings. No matter what she had done, it was no lie that Catherine Willows loved her daughter. It was clearly evident. A child of Lindsay's age could not act so convincingly.

"Lindsay adores her," said Nick.

"That she certainly does," said Warrick. He had a small smile on his face as he watched the mother and daughter reunite. Another part of him couldn't help but feel angry still, but at whom? It was not so easy to lay the blame.

"If she loved Lindsay, she'd press charges," said Sara. She had turned away and stopped watching Catherine and her daughter. It was too hard.

"We don't know the whole story yet," said Nick rationally. He agreed that Catherine needed to get help. But he didn't want to jump to any rash conclusions. He knew that it wouldn't be wise. People made bad choices, but it was their life to live.

Grissom stared silently at the sight before them. His first look of the little girl had been when a counsellor had brought her into the room to see her mother. They had a room with a two-way mirror at Social Services. It helped them to evaluate a child's mental state.

Lindsay was the most beautiful little girl that he had ever seen. He had fallen even more in love with her, when he set his eyes upon her. She was perfect in his sight. Warrick was right. She was a lovely child; no she was a breathtaking child.

That wasn't such a surprise, considering who her mother was. That was a whole different ballgame. Life had gotten so complicated the day he had met Catherine. Yet, for the life of him, he couldn't find it in himself to regret that he had met her.

She had, in the end, given him a child. A wonderful, beautiful little angel. No matter what Catherine had done, he would always be grateful that she had Lindsay. She could have easily chosen not to have her at all.

That thought didn't bear thinking about. So he was still very angry at her. But he was grateful that she had given him Lindsay. Now if he could just figure out the rest of it all.

"Well, it would seem that Mrs. Willows is a capable mother to her daughter," said the child psychologist, who sat in a corner, next to the window. She was taking notes and evaluating the pair in the next room. The CSIs had nearly forgotten her presence.

"But she's putting Lindsay in danger," blurted out Sara.

The psychologist looked at her and sighed.

"Maybe, but Lindsay has never been hurt by all accounts. We don't have proof to remove her from her home on terms of endangerment. All your reports conclude that she was never hurt. In fact, she seems to be doing rather well for a child her age," said the psychologist.

The three younger CSIs looked at her doubtfully.

"So you're not going to do anything?" asked Nick.

The psychologist heaved another weary sigh.

"I can't. My hands are tied. We have no justifiable cause to remove her from her home. The mother has to make a report herself. You all know that, I'm sure," she said, sadly.

"And there are other cases. Children who are actually hurt. We can't do anything right now," she continued.

She went back to her job of getting what she needed for her report.

Grissom was not looking at the psychologist, but he had heard her words. He understood the truth in them. The law protected the rights of parents well.

But he was also Lindsay's parent. Grissom did not know what he could do exactly, but he would not waste a moment in finding out. He was going to take care of Lindsay, he decided firmly.

He watched Lindsay and Catherine. And whether she wanted it or not, this time, he was going to take care of Catherine too. He didn't care if she didn't want it; he was going to do something. He couldn't sit by and watch her ruin her life and Lindsay's too. They were the most important people on the earth to him.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Fortunately for Grissom's resolve, he had plenty of time on his hands. When Warrick had led his two team members into brass' office to request for their assignments, Brass had lifted an eyebrow. His office door had been closed and apparently he had not heard the nightshift supervisor's tirade.

Warrick had simply said that in all probability Grissom would be held up by something for some time yet. Sara and Nick were still absorbing the new information that they had heard. They made no comment.

Brass understood that Warrick was unwilling to go into details with Nick and Sara around. He handed Warrick one folder and gave Sara and Nick another one. The pair was instructed to investigate a homicide case together.

After a few words, of which Brass wasn't sure either Sara or Nick actually heard, he commanded them to get to the site. Brass was now fairly raging with curiosity about what had put everyone in such a mood. He was wise enough to know that the answers had to come from Warrick.

Warrick stayed behind as the other two left. He hoped that they would be able to concentrate on their jobs. He knew what it felt like because it had taken him a few hours to come to grips with the astounding news, himself.

"All right, now spill," commanded Brass, as soon as Nick and Sara were safely out of hearing range.

Warrick took some time. He chose his words carefully.

"The missing person case, where we found the little girl, Lindsay," he began.

"The deaf child?" affirmed Brass.

Warrick nodded, with a slight wince.

"Yeah, Lindsay. Well, her mother, who was the missing person, just appeared," said Warrick.

Brass looked impatient.

"So case closed, what's the big deal?" asked Brass.

"Ah, well, errr," hedged Warrick, uncertain of how much he should say.

"Warrick," said Brass in an annoyed tone.

"Just say it. What does that have Grissom in knots about?" asked Brass.

"It appears that Grissom is personally involved with the case," stated Warrick, uncomfortably.

Brass was still unimpressed by Warrick's words.

"Grissom is a consummate pro. That can't be so bad that you guys have to come looking for me to be boss," said Brass.

Warrick simply looked at him.

"You're kidding? What could a little girl and her mother do to make Gil Grissom act completely out of the ordinary? It's not like the woman is his long lost wife or something," said Brass incredulously.

At the expression on Warrick's face, Brass groaned.

"The woman is actually his long lost wife?" asked Brass, with a look of dismay.

"Ah, no. Not exactly. She's Lindsay's mother. And Lindsay is … is apparently, Grissom's daughter," said Warrick, reluctantly. He looked like he was being tortured.

Brass stayed silent for awhile.

"So Grissom does have skeletons. He didn't know about the little girl?" asked Brass shrewdly.

Warrick shook his head. He decided that he had said enough. Most of it was Grissom's story to tell, not his.

Brass heaved a long sigh.

"Yeah, okay. I get it. He in his office now?" said Brass, preparing to march himself over there.

"Yeah, with her. He was doing some yelling. The whole lab heard it," said Warrick.

Brass' eyes narrowed.

"Yelling? What did he say?" asked Brass.

Warrick looked down. "Well, let's put it this way, I think by now, everyone knows that he has a daughter," answered Warrick.

Brass could already feel a headache coming on. This had started out as a normal, fairly routine night. Funny how things could unravel so quickly within one conversation.

"Okay, anything else I should know?" asked Brass. He was not going to enjoy this. But someone had to keep Grissom in line, when he needed it. And it was better that a friend do it, not someone else.

Warrick thought for a moment.

"No. So I'll be going now," said Warrick, already leaving the room.

"Yeah, thanks," said Brass to Warrick's back.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Grissom was not very sure of what had passed between Warrick and Brass. He only knew that Brass had knocked on his office door and that he had been grateful to hear that knock. He had no idea how to proceed now. He had completely forgotten that he had a job to do this night. Such details were inconsequential right now.

Grissom had gone back to his chair after Catherine's tears had lessened. Neither had spoken. There was still a heavy silence in the air. Neither seemed to dare to break it. It was not peaceful but it was not all that dreadful. It was simply a stalemate. Catherine was still in front of his desk.

After his polite knock, Brass had waited for a few seconds, then he had opened the door without an invitation. In the dim lighting of the office, the experienced detective quickly seized up the situation at hand. He sensed the general tension that pervaded the entire office.

Grissom actually looked relieved when Brass appeared. Brass noted that the woman in the wheelchair was alerted to his presence by Grissom's expression. She did not turn around and Brass was sorry that he was unable to see the expression on her face. He knew that she heard the door open and by her body tensing up, that she expected another person in the room. Brass wondered, not for the first time, why he had to be dragged into this one.

"Hey, Grissom. Your team was waiting for assignments," started Brass casually. He moved in and closed the door behind him.

Brass realized how serious the situation was, when Grissom actually looked bewildered for a moment at his words. Grissom never forgot about his job. He was a perfectionist at it.

Grissom quickly snapped his head to look at his watch when Brass' words sank in. He was very late! That had never happened before.

Brass held up a hand and said "It's done. Warrick's got a break-in and the other two took the homicide."

Grissom heaved a sigh of relief and sank back into his chair. This was unbelievable. He had never before even considered neglecting his duties Instantly, his memory taunted him with the only other time he had completely forgotten about every duty he had. It was the day that he had spent with Catherine. It was always her.

Brass had moved to Catherine's side and was introducing himself. He managed to contain his anger at her appearance. Brass wondered what kind of man would be despicable enough to do such things.

Catherine gave him a small smile and told him her name. But Brass wasn't fooled one tiny bit. Her tear tracks were fresh and her eyes were still watery. Added to her injuries, she presented a very vivid picture of despair. Brass was immediately drawn into her plight.

"I'm very sorry Mrs. Willows, but if you are finished here, I need to talk to Grissom about some things. Would you excuse us?" said Brass courteously.

"I still want my daughter back, Mr. Brass. Could you help me?" asked Catherine.

With a glance at his watch, Brass said "I'm sorry, but we can't so anything right now. It's too late. We can talk to Social Services in the morning, I know it's not what you want to hear but it's the best that we can do for now. We'll see you in the morning?" He deftly concluded her interview.

Catherine looked unhappy but could not argue very much.

"Thank you, Mr. Brass. I will leave you gentlemen then," she said, politely.

"Where are you going for the night?" asked Grissom, who had been silent before.

As Catherine put her hands on the wheels to wheel herself out, Grissom had jumped out of his chair and dashed to her side.

Catherine looked at him.

"I'll manage, thank you," she said rather ungraciously.

"Cath, you can barely move without that wheelchair. You can't stay by yourself tonight," said Grissom, unconsciously lapsing into his nickname for her.

Catherine's face was set in a stubborn expression.

Brass looked up at the ceiling, mouthing "Why me?" and wondered how this would all end. It was going to be interesting around here for some time, he knew.

"I'll be okay," was what Catherine said.

"No, you're not going home by yourself. Besides, your house is still a crime scene, you can't just go back there. You're coming back with me. I need to talk to Brass, but you can stay in the break room," said Grissom.

Catherine's eyes were wide with shock and she carefully shook her head.

"Yes, you are. Don't even try sneaking out because I will tell the front entrance not to let you leave. That's final," with that, Grissom took charge and wheeled her to the break room.

Brass was surprised but agreed with his friend's actions. Well, Grissom was due for a long vacation anyway. He never took one. Now there was a reason.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Grissom requested a consultation with a Social Service worker. As he knew that this was a highly unusual situation, he tried to use every advantage at his disposal. He had brought the DNA report which verified that Lindsay was his biological daughter.

With that leverage, Grissom quickly learned about his rights as her father. He asked as many questions as he could and rapidly plotted his best course of action. He had slightly misused his authority to keep Catherine and Lindsay at the Social Services building while he figured out what to do.

Catherine could not fight that because she was still not in very good shape physically and it had taken its toll mentally. Besides, Grissom was right and she did not have a place to return to. As much as she hated to admit it, Grissom had also been right about last night too, when he said that she needed someone to help her. It would have been a nightmare to go back by herself.

Lindsay was taken to join an afternoon class of her peers, as Catherine was wheeled in to a meeting with Grissom and two representatives of Social Services.

"Mrs. Willows, Mr. Grissom has a legal right to the custody of your daughter," said one of the representatives, without preamble.

Catherine sucked in a breath. She couldn't believe this was happening. She could not lose her daughter!

Before she could speak, the lady continued.

"He is very much concerned about the welfare of his daughter and we have evaluated the evidence he has presented. We would now like to hear your side of the story. Bear in mind, that if you do not tell us the truth and if we do find out, it will be counted against you. All we want is to do what is best for Lindsay. So I suggest that you cooperate fully," said the woman, with a look of stern warning.

Catherine was in a quandary. If she told the truth, they would take Lindsay away. If she lied, they probably would do that anyway. What could she do? She agonized over her choices for a few minutes.

Then Catherine decided to take a chance. She still did not believe in happily-ever-afters, as she had once told Grissom. But now, her already chaotic world, was falling apart at the seams. She could not lose the only person in her life that made it worth living, Lindsay. She was now faced with that terrible reality.

Catherine decided to try a desperate gamble. Maybe, just maybe, he would help her. He had been so kind and gentle last night. He had helped her take a sponge bath and change into some clean clothes that he had found for her to sleep in. He had prepared food for her to eat and had tended her wounds so carefully.

Catherine still felt the urge to weep at his care and kindness. She didn't deserve it. She deserved to be thrown out on the street for the way she had treated him. But he had still been so kind. Oh, so kind! No man had ever treated her the way he did.

She had never expected him to take care of her. When she had gone in, she hadn't known that he was the supervisor, hadn't expected that he had found out about his daughter. The whole mess was her fault. He didn't deserve any of it.

Catherine knew that he must still feel anger and resentment towards her. She didn't blame him at all. She definitely deserved what she got. She never should have entered his life. All she ever did was to bring him pain.

But now, there was Lindsay to think about. Lindsay, who was the sweetest little angel on earth. Lindsay, who was the light of her world. Lindsay, whom she had sworn to protect with every fibre of her being. The most precious thing in the world. Catherine had also begun to live in mortal terror of her ever being hurt by Eddie, her husband.

The best thing for Lindsay. Yes, Lindsay deserved that. Grissom would be a good father. He would never allow her to be abandoned. That was what she had done. It was a miracle that Lindsay was safe and well.

He would love her and give her everything that she needed. He would give her a great life, better than anything Catherine herself could hope to build for her little girl. Lindsay would have a wonderful life and a terrific future.

Catherine's heart ached. She knew what she had to do. She had to tell the truth. And she had to let Lindsay go. Surrendering Lindsay to Grissom was the best thing to do. She could see that now. She had made so many mistakes. She would not ruin Lindsay's life the way she had ruined her own. Grissom would make sure that Lindsay had the best of everything.

She herself would go on living. She was a survivor. Lindsay would have everything she needed. And Lindsay's life would never be ruined. Maybe Grissom would allow Catherine to see her sometimes. That was all that she could hope for, that he would be kind to her once in a while. On the whole, it would be better that way, Catherine knew. Otherwise, she would simply continue to bring pain to the two people she loved most in the world.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Catherine looked out of the window of the moving vehicle in a daze. So much had happened within the last few days. She needed some time to process it all.

After giving her statement to the people at Social Services, she had expected Lindsay to be taken away from her and awarded to her biological father, Dr. Gil Grissom. It had seemed the most logical course of action. There was no reason why they should let Lindsay stay with her in harm's way. Her husband was still at large, even though by giving her statement, she had set the grounds for building a case to arrest him.

It had come as a complete surprise when Gil Grissom had refused sole custody of Lindsay. He chose to share equal custody of Lindsay with her. Since Eddie had never formally adopted Lindsay, he had no rights in this particular case. Eddie had thought that Lindsay was his, but the DNA evidence was certainly enough to uphold Grissom's status as Lindsay's father. He was automatically given his rights as her biological father.

Upon signing several documents, which Catherine had blindly done, she had been astounded to hear that she could take her daughter with her. She had not had the heart to read in print the documents which she thought would separate Lindsay from her. The only condition was that Grissom was to share equal custody with her, but that they could work out on their own.

Catherine had sat in silent but grateful shock. The two representatives left the room after completing their duties. They informed Catherine and Grissom that they could pick Lindsay up when they were ready.

Their departure had left Catherine and Grissom alone. Catherine was afraid to speak. Surely he would take Lindsay, he now had the right to. She swallowed her tears and vowed not to protest. It never occurred to her that he would want her too.

"So that's settled then. First thing to do, is to tell Lindsay that I'm her father. Do you think we can do that now?" said Grissom in a calm voice.

Catherine could not speak, but nodded. Now was as good as any other time.

"Okay, let's go and get her. We'll take her home and tell her there okay?" said Grissom, wishing that Catherine would say something. The woman was so hard to figure out.

Catherine did not register his use of the word `home' and his inclusion of her. The only thoughts filling her head were those of the impending separation from her daughter. The lump in her throat refused to leave.

Grissom sighed quietly and wheeled her out. They went together to get Lindsay. The child came happily, secure in her mother's presence. Lindsay flashed Grissom a beaming smile when he introduced himself to her as her mother's friend. Grissom was completely besotted.

Catherine couldn't help but smile at the look in his eyes. He would love Lindsay, there was no doubt of that. He had loved her too, but she had thrown it away. Hers was a lifetime of regrets.

Grissom had taken mother and daughter back to his home. After getting Catherine settled comfortably on the couch, with Lindsay snuggled up next to her, Grissom had told Lindsay that he was her father.

"Lindsay, I need to tell you something. Is that okay?" asked Grissom, a bit uncertainly.

Lindsay turned her blue eyes towards Grissom and nodded vigorously. She liked this man. He even knew how to talk with his hands. He had been very nice to her and her mommy.

"Lindsay, I am your daddy," said Grissom, not knowing how to put it in any other way. How could you explain such a thing to a little girl?

Lindsay looked at him curiously.

"No you are not. My daddy doesn't look like you," she said, after a moment's thought.

Grissom's heart broke a little at her rejection. But he knew that it would simply take time. She was only five years old.

"No darling, Gil, is your real daddy. The man you call `daddy' now, is not," said Catherine to her daughter.

Lindsay looked at her in confusion.

Catherine sighed. She said "Gil is your real daddy, sweetheart. Cross my heart. And he loves you very much."

Lindsay then asked, "Are you my real mommy?"

Catherine looked stricken at the innocent question.

"Lindsay, yes she is. She is your real mommy," said Grissom, kneeling beside the couch.

"What about the other daddy?" asked Lindsay, of the man she had known her entire life as her father.

"He was just taking care of you until I could find you," said Grissom quickly.

Catherine couldn't believe that he was being such a generous person. He couldn't like the man she had married at all. Yet, he was not putting him down in any way. Gil Grissom was such a great man.

Lindsay thought for a bit.

"Okay," she said. For her, this was not so important. Her other daddy had played with her sometimes, but not very often. He had not figured very largely in her world. Therefore it did not really mean very much to her yet.

"Okay," smiled Grissom. He knew it would take more time to Lindsay to get used to the idea.

"Lindsay," he said as she yawned.

His heart swelled with love. She was so adorable.

"I want to say that I love you very much," said Grissom.

Lindsay looked at him but stayed close to her mother.

"Can you please give me a hug?" asked Grissom, trying not to scare her. But he desperately wanted to hold her.

Lindsay looked at her mother. She was not really sure what to do.

Catherine forced a smile. She nodded at her daughter lovingly.

"Yes, baby. Please give your daddy a hug. Can you do that?" she said, gently.

Lindsay obeyed, she launched herself at Grissom. Grissom caught her and held her close. She was everything he had ever dreamed of in a daughter and so much more.

"Thank you," he said to Catherine, as he hugged his daughter for the first time. His eyes were watery with emotion.

Catherine felt many regrets as she watched the beautiful scene. She should never have deprived Grissom of his daughter. She would never forgive herself for all the pain she had caused. They would be better off without her.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

They had spent the next two days in Grissom's townhouse. They had simply spent time together and rested and played. Grissom took excellent care of Catherine's needs and treated Lindsay like a princess.

Catherine was too weary to argue. She didn't dare to either because she wanted to be with Lindsay. She would take whatever he would give her. If he chose to let her stay and be with Lindsay, then she wouldn't complain. She couldn't bear the thought of leaving her daughter.

Lindsay warmed up to Grissom very quickly. He was a lot of fun and he had so many interesting things to show her. He even tucked her in bed with mommy and told her a bedtime story. Lindsay bonded fast with her devoted father.

Grissom was on an extended vacation and could spend all of his time simply caring for his family. He carefully tended to Catherine. And spent all the time he could with his precious daughter. He had never felt more alive.

He cooked delicious and healthy meals for all of them. Therefore, aside from a trip or two to the grocery store, the three did not have to leave the house for the two days. That gave them plenty of time to adjust to each other.

Grissom was overwhelmingly grateful that Lindsay was willing to open herself up to him. With Catherine nearby and helping her feel secure, Lindsay joyfully explored her new environment. Having a new playmate was great too. And she was very happy that her mommy was happy too. Her new daddy was very nice to her mommy. Her other daddy had never been like that.

On the third day, Grissom had wished Catherine good morning and suggested that they go out shopping. Catherine and Lindsay needed new things. Grissom could more than afford to provide them with many new things. And he was determined to do so, they would not need to return to their old house, unless it was absolutely necessary.

Catherine was mulling over everything that had happened as she sat in the back seat of the Tahoe with her daughter. Grissom was driving them to the mall. Her injuries had healed enough that most of what remained could be covered up with some well-applied make-up. She knew that that was partly why Grissom had suggested they go out only today. Previously, she had looked worse.

She still had to use the wheel chair. But that was not unmanageable. Catherine understood that it would be harder to explain away the injuries on her face. She had no wish to allow others to think that Grissom was the one who had hurt her. He had been nothing but kind and considerate.

In actual fact, he had been loving towards her as well. But Catherine didn't dare to even think that thought. She couldn't, that would only leave her in despair. She was already more in love with him that she had ever been and it was still growing. She could not bear his rejection at the end. She resolutely pushed any such thoughts away. She would simply take it one day at a time.

They arrived at the mall. There were not too many people as it was a Friday and many people were working. Grissom put her in her wheel chair and they were off. They looked like a loving family as they headed towards a children's clothing store.

They bought Lindsay new clothes, shoes and all types of apparel. Catherine had to restrain Grissom from buying out the whole store. Lindsay did not need so many things. She was growing fast and would outgrow her clothes quickly. Yet Catherine relished the feeling of being able to buy such beautiful things for her daughter. She could never have afforded it.

Then after Lindsay was outfitted with a whole new wardrobe, they ordered new furniture for Lindsay's room. It was to be done up in purple, pink and yellow. They bought curtains and pictures. They also made a trip to the toy store. That Grissom would spoil his daughter endlessly, was no question. She already had him wrapped around her littler finger.

But from some experience, Catherine was wiser. She didn't want Lindsay to grow up to be a spoilt brat. That much she knew she was right about. So she stopped Grissom from buying every doll and stuffed toy in the shop. Their purchases were still numerous but not too lavish.

They ate lunch and had ice-cream. Catherine thoroughly enjoyed being able to choose and give her daughter all the things she had wanted to, she couldn't before. But now Lindsay had a father who could provide all of that. Catherine wished that it made her heart ache less to know that fact.

"Okay, now we go shopping for mommy," said Grissom after they had finished the ice cream, which had followed their late lunch. Shopping had never been so much fun for him.

Catherine was surprised.

"No that's fine. I'm quite all right thanks. You've already bought so much for Linds," said Catherine, with a faint blush of uncertainty.

Grissom picked Lindsay up and turned her to face him on his lap.

"Do you think mommy needs to go shopping?" he asked the little girl.

Lindsay verbally said "Yes," and nodded excitedly for emphasis.

"Our daughter thinks you need to shop too, so let's go," he said to Catherine.

Catherine felt her eyes water slightly. He had said "Our daughter."

He was making it so difficult to leave.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Catherine watched Grissom intently as he dressed Lindsay in her pyjamas, it was bedtime. Eddie had never bothered about Lindsay even half as much as Grissom did. For nearly two weeks, she had watched Grissom do everything possible with Lindsay. Spend every second he could with his daughter, whether it was playing, eating, helping her with daily activities or just being with her. To her, it never stopped being amazing.

Catherine had a feeling that Grissom had already spent more time with Lindsay, than Eddie ever had in the five years that he had been the child's father. She would never forgive herself for that. The mistakes she had made had affected Lindsay too. She had never thought about it that way until now.

"Mommy, come and listen too," said Lindsay. She was already in her bed, waiting for her father to tell her a story.

Catherine smiled at her and walked in slowly. She had learned to manage with crutches for short distances in the house. It made it easier to move in the small space.

Grissom stood and watched as she made her way to sit on Lindsay's bed. He didn't offer to help her, knowing that she hated to show any weakness in front of her daughter. He stood by, just in case.

When Catherine was safely seated, Grissom took his place in a chair on the other side of Lindsay. As usual, he asked his daughter to pick a story from the large colourful book of bedtime stories that he had bought. Grissom had not known any stories to tell a child before this. Now he was building up an impressive repertoire. He loved being able to do this.

Lindsay looked at the pictures carefully. Then she selected a Japanese story of `The Crane Princess'. She settled back, holding her mother's hand, as her father prepared to read her the story.

The ancient folk tale about the Japanese princess that had been cursed to appear as a crane in the day time was read lovingly to the little girl. Grissom tried to put in as much expression as he could and make it interesting for his daughter. Since he needed both hands, Catherine helped him to hold the book open. It was a peaceful, restful bedtime routine.

Lindsay smiled sleepily as the story ended. She was well on her way to slumber land by now. Grissom put the book away, as Catherine kissed her goodnight. Grissom did the same and tucked her in snugly.

Lindsay had already closed her eyes and did not see Grissom's "Good night, princess," to her.

Catherine saw and heard his words. Her heart clenched at the love in his voice. How she wished that she hadn't thrown it away. She refused to see that he did speak to her with love in his voice. She thought that maybe, it was for Lindsay's benefit, that he was so kind to her.

"Would you like something to drink? I think I'm going to have a cup of tea," said Grissom, softly, behind her. Catherine was moving slowly and he was waiting patiently for her to allow him room to walk to the kitchen.

"Yes, thanks," answered Catherine shortly.

It was always difficult after Lindsay had gone to sleep. Catherine didn't know what to say or do. Usually, she just sat and read or watched some TV. If she couldn't stand the awkward tension she felt, she went to bed early but didn't sleep. She just lay there, thinking.

Grissom usually finished tidying up after putting Lindsay to bed. He wouldn't let her help and even she knew that she was unable to do much for now. Then he would read or maybe do some paper work.

The awkward tension seemed to affect Catherine more. She was the one who felt it mostly. Grissom seemed quite comfortable in doing things around her and in having her around. She wished she could feel more comfortable around him.

After settling herself on the couch, she wished that she had declined the cup of tea. Grissom had given her a cup and sat down on the other end of the sofa. This was unusual. It looked like he wanted to talk. She didn't know if she could handle that.

So far, they had not talked much, just the two of them. It had been easy just focusing on Lindsay and other safer things. Grissom had been quite busy, between showering attention on his daughter, keeping house and tending to Catherine's healing wounds, there wasn't much time to really talk.

Now, it seemed like he wanted to have a conversation with her. Catherine was dreading it. She could see no way that this conversation would end well for her. But then she couldn't avoid it forever. They had to talk. He had been so good to her. It was only fair. Catherine felt very nervous and uncomfortable.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Neither said anything at first. Catherine kept her eyes downcast, stirring her tea. Her body was rigid with tension. She didn't speak.

"How are you feeling now?" asked Grissom softly.

"Better. It mostly doesn't hurt at all. You're a great nurse," said Catherine and flushed, unsure about how he would take that statement.

"Great, hopefully, the cast can come off soon," said Grissom.

Catherine's heart sank. When she could walk properly, she would have to leave.

"Yeah, it'll be great," she tried to say cheerfully, but it came out sounding strangled. Her emotions were choking her.

Grissom watched her. She had still not lifted up her head. She sounded so sad and unsure. He wasn't quite sure how to proceed. But he had made a decision to talk to her tonight. He needed some answers.

"Cath," he said softly, tenderly.

Oh, God. She was going to start crying. When he said her name that way, she remembered every single way he had loved her. Every touch, every caress. She ached for it now as much as she had then. When she had decided to let him love her for a day.

"Gil, don't. Please," she said in a whisper.

"I know, I'll have to leave. Don't say my name like that, please. I'll go as soon as I'm better. Lindsay can stay with you. Thank you for being so wonderful. I'm sorry for all that I've done. I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen, I couldn't help it. I'm sorry," everything came rushing out. So did her tears, they were falling steadily.

Grissom watched her. He did not say anything for a while. "What do you mean you'll leave?" he said. There was a small hint of anger in his voice.

Catherine looked up at him with wide eyes.

"I'll … I'll leave Linds with you. And I'll go away," she stammered.

"You're going to leave Lindsay behind and just leave?" said Grissom. Now there was anger evident in his voice.

Catherine stared at him. She started to press back into the cushion as she recognized the anger in his voice.

"I have to. It'll be better that way," she gulped. Unconsciously, her body started to curl up and she moved back as far as she could.

Grissom sighed as he saw her start to shrink in fear.

"Nice going, you insensitive jerk," he told himself mentally.

"Why will it be better?" he asked in a calmer voice. He pushed back his anger resolutely.

Catherine looked at him uncertainly.

"Because if not, I'll ruin her life more," she said in a small voice.

"Cath, how have you ruined her life?" asked Grissom.

"You're a great father. Much better than Eddie. She could have had so much more, if only I'd given her to you from the beginning," she said. Catherine looked down.

"Lindsay loves you very much. And as far as I can tell, you did a great job of raising her," he said softly.

"Really?" she asked.

"Yes, definitely." He answered.

"Thank you," she said slowly.

Catherine looked up at him again.

"Why are you being so kind to me? You should hate me, you know," she said, staring into his eyes, in wonderment.

Grissom blinked.

"What do you mean? Why should I hate you?" asked Grissom.

"Because I didn't tell you about Lindsay, because I made you go away. Because, I screwed up. Really, screwed up," she said, honestly.

Grissom answered, "I don't hate you and we all screw up."

Catherine laughed a bitter laugh.

"Oh, no. I screwed up big time. And you, you just bring me in here and you take care of me. Don't you know that I'm just going to cause you more grief in the end?" she said desperately.

"Cath, why did you make me leave you?" asked Grissom. It was a question he had puzzled over for more than six years.

Catherine closed her eyes in shame.

"Because you were too good for me," she said, with a sob.

"Because I was already engaged to Eddie. And there are so many more things you didn't know. I would have ruined you," she said sadly.

"Things like what?" asked Grissom.

Catherine told him. He deserved that much.

"Like the fact that I worked as a stripper. I also had an on- and-off cocaine addiction," she started.

At the look on Grissom's face, she quickly reassured him. "No, don't worry. I was off when Lindsay was conceived. When I found out, I took care of myself. She's the reason I stayed off," she said.

"I'd run away from home at the age of 16. I was always on the wild side. You don't want to know about the company I kept or the way I lived at times," she said with shame.

"Then I was studying part-time. It was just a dream of mine to get a job at the lab. Then I met you. And you wanted me," she continued, in a dreamy voice.

Catherine fixed her eyes on his.

"No one had ever treated me that way. All the guys I ever knew, only thought that women were good for one thing. And when we talked, it was like we actually connected, you and I," she said with awe.

"I saw then what other people had. I never knew what a real gentleman was before that. You let me see a life I'd never even dared to dream about. I'd never thought I could have it that way. And I wanted it so badly. I took it," at this point, Catherine looked down again.

"I promised myself just one day. One day to feel like a queen. To have you love me for being me," she said softly.

Grissom gently lifted her chin, looking at her with sympathy and tenderness.

"Why only one day?" he asked.

Catherine smiled a wistful smile. Grissom remembered that smile. He never did understand that smile.

"Because it couldn't really last forever. There are no happily-ever-afters in real life. You had it all. You were and are a great man with a wonderful reputation. I would have spoilt everything. A stripper and a coke addict. You deserved someone much better than me," she explained.

Grissom started to protest. But Catherine placed a finger on his lips.

"I know you wanted to do right by me. You said you wanted to marry me and I believed you. But you couldn't see that I would ruin you. What would happen when you realized what I really was? You would hate me," she said sadly.

"So I took what I wanted. I'm sorry. I used you. I knew I could and I seduced you. And I'm not sorry. You didn't know it then, but Lindsay was the greatest gift you ever gave me. Thank you," said Catherine.

Grissom gently removed her finger.

"As well as I can remember, it didn't take you all that much effort. It takes two to tango, you know. And I'd wanted to make love to you from the moment I met you," he said.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Catherine lay back on the cushions and looked at him. Her eyes were no longer glistening with tears, for which Grissom was devoutly grateful. Instead she had a nostalgic look on her face as they dwelled on their memories.

"I'm flattered you felt that way. Most of the men I attract aren't like you," she said in response to his confession.

Grissom tried to hide a wince. That had come out the wrong way, she wasn't supposed to feel like that was the only way she was attractive. He sounded just like any carnally-minded man, who only wanted Catherine for her body.

"Cath, listen to me," he instructed, gently turning her face towards his again.

"What I meant was that the first time I met you, you turned my whole world upside down. I didn't want to leave you at all. No woman had ever affected me that way. And it wasn't just your body. Magnificent though it is," he started.

By the look on Catherine's face, he realized that she didn't quite believe him. How could he make her understand?

"You brought a whole new vision into my life," he continued slowly, thinking as he tried to convey his feelings to her.

"You're the only woman who's ever made me feel this way. I'm a completely different person around you. You were and still are the only person who holds my heart. Can you understand that?" said Grissom, softly but clearly.

Catherine just stared at him with wide eyes. It was tremendously difficult for her. She had never been loved unconditionally by a man.

Grissom pressed on, saying, "Actually, it seems that you still have the same effect on me. I've never been so caught up in something that I've had to be reminded about doing my job."

Catherine winced. Grissom hurriedly continued.

"It's okay, really," he gently held one of her hands in his.

"I've never had a reason to focus on anything else. All my life, my work has been more important to me than anything else. When you crashed into me, you gave me another, stronger reason to live. And now, with Lindsay, I've found even more meaning in this life," Grissom paused, watching Catherine's face intently.

"Every time I see you, my world becomes a different place. It becomes more than I ever thought it could. I never dreamed that I'd be able to find someone like you to make my life complete. Cath, whatever you've done I still am in love with you. And as for that day, you didn't force me to do anything that I didn't want to. I made love to you because I couldn't help loving you. You make me feel out of control, but in a good way. Cath?" his words ended in a slightly puzzled tone.

Catherine's head was bowed down again.

"Why do you love me?" she asked, in a voice choked with emotion.

Grissom felt his heart break at the vulnerability and fear in her voice. How could people have hurt such a wonderful woman this much?

"I don't know why exactly. I do know that when I'm with you, that doesn't matter very much. Your life may be different from mine, but believe me; I don't care because I love you. I love you the way you are. I love you because you are you, Catherine. I love you because I was meant to," he says gently, drawing nearer to her with every spoken word.

Catherine lifted her head and found his face just inches away from hers. She was getting lost in him again. It was so easy, even easier than the last time. She closed her eyes tightly.

"But I'm married," she said hoarsely.

Grissom drew back, slowly. He'd forgotten about that. Her husband had not seemed real so far, while she and Lindsay had been staying with him. Lindsay was his, irrefutably, Catherine was not.

"Yes, you are," he agreed softly. He had retreated to the other end of the couch.

Catherine's heart bled and wept at the unfairness of it all. She couldn't stay with him because she was married to someone else. A man who didn't love her even a quarter as much as Gil did. God, help her.

"I'm sorry," she gasped. The tears made their way down her cheeks again. She hated herself for crying so much.

"Me too, Cath. Me too. I'm sorry that I forgot about your marriage. You're right of course," said Grissom sadly.

There was a pause.

"Why are you staying with him?" asked Grissom, cautiously.

Catherine did not answer. Nor did she dare to look at him.

"He doesn't deserve you or Lindsay," said Grissom.

Catherine still did not say anything.

Grissom sighed and glanced at the clock. He decided to end this conversation for now. He would let her mull over things for a while.

"It's getting late. I'm going to bed now," he said.

Catherine did not respond.

"Good night, Catherine, sleep well," said Grissom with another sigh. He made his way to his study, where he had been sleeping at night.

He had given Catherine his bedroom and the guestroom had been made over for Lindsay. So he slept on a pull-out couch in the study room. He knew that Catherine did not need help to get ready for bed anymore. She was healing fast.

Soon she would leave. She had said that she would leave Lindsay with him. He wondered how he could get Catherine to stay with him, instead of leaving.

They definitely still had issues to settle. He knew that it would take some time and much more discussion to resolve many things between them. As much as he wanted her in his life, he was still angry at some of her choices and he wanted more answers.

There was always tomorrow. Catherine wouldn't be able to go anywhere for some time yet. He hoped that he could convince her to stay. Tomorrow was a new day.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

The doorbell was ringing. Grissom apparently didn't hear it or if he did, he wasn't paying any attention. Catherine wasn't very sure which. There had been times in the past two weeks when she wondered if Grissom's hearing was completely sound all the time.

Grissom had told her that Lindsay had inherited her deafness from his side when she had been surprised by his fluency in sign language. Grissom had explained about his mother going deaf and that he had had to communicate with his mother by sign language. Catherine was just grateful that he loved their daughter just as she was.

Catherine hesitated. She could move around more easily now, using her crutches. The person at the door was apparently not leaving. There had been no visitors as far as she knew, the entire time she had stayed here with Lindsay. She wasn't sure if Grissom would like her opening his door.

Catherine decided to ask. Grissom was busy playing a sort of hide-and-seek with Lindsay. They were running all over the place.

"Gil, there's someone at the door," she yelled to the owner of the house.

There was no answer, simply the sound of Lindsay's carefree laughter. It brought a smile to her face but didn't solve her dilemma.

"Gil! Do you want me to open the door?" she yelled again.

"Who is it?" asked Grissom, suddenly appearing at her side with Lindsay on his back.

"Ummm..," she said uncertainly. She had not looked through the peephole.

Grissom peered at his guests and threw open the door.

"Hello, Brass, Warrick. What brings you guys by?" he asked his two team members. He invited them to come in. Both men were rather shocked and amused to find the nightshift supervisor open the door quite casually, with a squealing Lindsay on his back. Catherine was standing nearby, looking a tiny bit awkward. But other than that, the three looked quite like a family already.

"Just thought we'd drop by and visit. We hadn't seen you at the lab for more than two whole weeks. Just to make sure you were breathing. It's such a shocker that you could actually stay away that long," quipped Brass with a straight face.

As they entered, both men acknowledged Catherine with greetings and smiles. They also gave due attention to the little girl still clinging to her father's back. But Lindsay had suddenly turned shy. She ducked her head and hid her face in her father's back.

Feeling her move, Grissom swiftly and expertly moved her in front so that he carried her in his arms. Lindsay made no protest but still buried her face in his shoulder. He dropped a fond kiss on her blonde head.

Brass and Warrick observed silently. They had never figured Grissom for the fatherly type. It was amazing watching his interaction with Lindsay. He was proving to be a fantastic father.

"Sorry, we haven't had visitors for some time. I think Lindsay's feeling a bit shy," said Grissom, to his guests.

"No problem, Gris. We'll just give her some time to warm up. She'll be fine in a bit," said Brass with a shrug. Having had a lot of experience with his own daughter when she was young, he knew what to expect.

Warrick was still mute with amazement. The way Grissom handled Lindsay had completely floored him. He'd never seen Grissom with children and had never thought that the man would be so good at it. Never assume.

"How's the lab?" asked Grissom, having lead them to the living room.

He sat down, with Lindsay still in his arms. Brass and Warrick took the two single armchairs available. That left Catherine very little choice but to sit on the couch with Grissom or to move away from the living area completely. She paused for a bit.

"Cath, come and sit down. You've met Jim Brass and Warrick Brown haven't you?" said Grissom.

Catherine had no choice but to smile and nod prettily. The man was not going to let her get away that easily, it seemed.

"Actually, I haven't had the pleasure of an introduction," said Warrick, having recovered his powers of speech.

"Warrick Brown, this is Catherine," Grissom stopped for a few seconds.

"Willows," he said, with a tremor in his voice.

"It's a pleasure," said Warrick, rising to shake Catherine's hand.

Everyone ignored Grissom's slight hesitation.

"Likewise," said Catherine.

"Ah, the lab is good, more or less," said Brass.

"It's not the same without you though. Sophia's all right, but the team would be glad for you to get back. Sophia would rather leave too, I think," said Warrick.

"But they'll survive. It's only a month and you were long overdue for a long vacation, Gil," said Brass.

Catherine's eyes widened, "You took a month's leave?" she asked. For a moment, she forgot the presence of their guests. Then she blushed lightly.

Warrick was still desperately curious to find out how Grissom had won the heart of this fair lady. He wondered how he would ever find out. She was even more gorgeous up close.

"I needed to get to know Lindsay and take care of you. I thought a month was reasonable," explained Grissom.

Grissom had been trying to coax Lindsay to say hi to Brass and Warrick. Lindsay had peeked at them a few times, but refused to turn and greet them properly.

"Oh yeah, these are for you, Catherine. Pretty flowers for a pretty lady," said Brass, presenting Catherine with a beautiful bouquet of lilies.

"Thank you," said Catherine with a blush. She was puzzled as to why she received flowers from Grissom's friends. Eddie's friends were rarely particularly nice to her.

"And I think Warrick's got something for the little princess. Lindsay, wouldn't you like to see what Uncle Warrick brought you?" asked Brass.

Grissom translated Brass' words to his daughter.

Meanwhile, Warrick had taken his cue from Brass and taken out a rather large pink teddy-bear from the bag he carried. The teddy- bear was cute and cuddlesome. Warrick held it up for Lindsay's inspection.

Lindsay had turned around slowly. She regarded the gift thoughtfully and looked at the man holding it. She finally recognized him and smiled.

Warrick smiled back joyfully.

"Hi, Lindsay," he signed carefully.

Lindsay looked surprised but happy.

"Hi," she said, still a bit shyly.

She glanced over at Brass, who gave her a small wave. Then she looked at both her parents and back at the lovely pink teddy-bear. Lindsay was unsure about taking the bear. She looked at Grissom for assurance.

"Go on, sweetheart, you can take it," he told her.

Lindsay smiled. She got down slowly and went to Warrick. Warrick waited patiently, holding the teddy-bear. He did not make any sudden movements, not wanting to scare the little girl.

Brass observed Lindsay intently, with a smile. He remembered Ellie at that age. She was beautiful too. Brass was extremely happy that Grissom was fortunate enough to be able to experience fatherhood. He knew it would be a great experience for his unsociable friend.

Lindsay reached Warrick and touched the teddy-bear. She ran her hands over it before taking it and hugging it to her. Warrick smiled cheerfully at the little girl. Lindsay appeared to have regained her confidence and smiled back happily.

Catherine watched as Lindsay started to interact with Warrick. She saw Brass watching her daughter with a genuine smile. Grissom watched with adoration. Catherine was astounded that these three men were being so wonderful to her little girl. This was definitely a new experience. She was so used to having to be cautious and extremely protective of Lindsay. She wondered what else she had been missing in her life.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Brass and Warrick's visit on Tuesday had given Grissom an idea. He called his whole team, including Greg, to come to his place for dinner on Saturday. Everyone was a little bit stunned but agreed to attend. It was the first time Grissom had invited them over for dinner at his place. They usually went out to eat together.

Catherine wasn't too thrilled with the idea but did not dare to say anything to object. It was Grissom' home, after all. She simply got busy helping him prepare for it. She was nervous at the thought of meeting his whole team. Warrick and Brass had been nice enough. But she wondered what they really thought. It was evident that these people knew that Lindsay was her and Grissom's daughter. And they had investigated her case.

The woman named Sara had rather obviously voiced her opinion against Catherine when they had last met. Nick had been a gentleman but she had no way of knowing what his thoughts really were. They must all think that she was a horrible mother for letting Lindsay grow up in a home like that. She wouldn't blame them. She thought so too.

However, there was not really much time to dwell on anything. Grissom had realized that while it had been fun keeping Lindsay and Catherine to himself, aside from occasional short trips to the store, it was not all that healthy. Initially, it had also been because Catherine was not very mobile.

Lindsay's shyness when his friends came to visit convinced Grissom that she needed to get out more. So he took them out. Grissom took them to the zoo, the aquarium, the park and to a fun fair. Besides fun excursions, they had to do some shopping and planning for the Saturday dinner. Grissom didn't actually have enough plates and cutlery.

Grissom talked to Catherine about putting Lindsay in a kindergarten nearby. They had removed Lindsay from her previous kindergarten for various reasons. Among them was the fear that Eddie would return unexpectedly and take Lindsay. There was still no news about Eddie Willows.

Grissom had managed to ignore Eddie's existence pretty well. Of course, it helped that the man had not reappeared in the vicinity so far. If Grissom thought about it, there were many things that he wanted to say and do to Eddie Willows if he ever met him. But for now, life was as perfect as could be.

Catherine was willing to follow what Grissom wanted with regards to Lindsay, except in the case of buying her everything. Grissom wanted to hold off putting her in a kindergarten until his vacation time was up. He wanted to spend more time with her and Catherine didn't object.

"Lindsay, please. Your daddy's guests will be here soon. You need to put on that dress he bought you," said Catherine pleadingly.

Lindsay had just had her bath, but was not cooperating in getting dressed. Grissom was doing some last minute preparations for the dinner party. So it was Catherine's job to get her daughter dressed.

Lindsay was dancing out of her mother's reach, twirling with her towel. Catherine was unable to actually chase after her. She was sitting on the bed and trying to coax her daughter to come to her.

"Lindsay! Come on," called Catherine. At times like this, Lindsay being deaf was a bit trying. She could not hear the annoyance in her mother's voice and opted to keep playing.

"You need to listen to your mommy, princess," said Grissom, for Catherine's benefit.

He came up behind Lindsay and picked her up. Lindsay squealed. He put her on the bed, next to Catherine, so that she could get dressed and repeated his words in sign language to his daughter.

"Thank you," said Catherine gratefully.

Grissom would have stayed to watch Lindsay being dressed, but the doorbell rang.

"Wow, they're right on time," marvelled Grissom, getting up to open the door.

Catherine tried to hurry in dressing her daughter. She was very nervous and uncomfortable. She guessed that his team members would be very curious about her and her daughter. She hoped that she looked all right and said a fervent prayer. She desperately wanted everything to go well.

"Why? It's not like you'll be sticking around for very long," a voice in her head taunted her.

"Why worry if you can fit into his life?" it said maliciously.

Catherine clamped down on her fears with great effort. She would not cry and ruin her carefully applied make-up. She would do her best to make Grissom's party a success. It was the least she could do for him.

"So in turns out that all of it was simply an elaborate April Fool's joke. Some of the pranksters got too caught up in it. What a waste," concluded Nick. He was telling Grissom about a case that he had recently investigated.

The dinner party had been proceeding along, quite smoothly. Each of the guests came, bearing gifts. Greg brought a rainbow coloured slinky for Lindsay and an assortment of cookies. Nick brought Lindsay a stuffed pony and a small gift basket. Sara brought a storybook for Lindsay and some pastries for dessert. Warrick gave Lindsay a bunch of balloons and some wine for the party. Brass had appeared with set of ribbons for Lindsay's hair and also a bottle of wine.

Lindsay was awed by the many gifts. It was even better than her birthday. She was showered with attention. They put her at the dinner table with them but she could hardly eat. She was so excited. She wanted to play with her gifts and everyone was being so nice to her.

Catherine watched Lindsay happily. Her daughter was so happy and excited. Catherine couldn't remember when Lindsay had been treated so well. Grissom's team had all made the effort to befriend Lindsay. Warrick had even taken up sign language to be able to communicate with her. And Greg didn't need to learn sign language to make her laugh.

Catherine was quite content to simply observe and eat. She was polite but did not join in the conversation at large. She felt rather intimidated. These people were unlike the people she was more used to, especially since being married to Eddie. She simply enjoyed the cheery atmosphere.

Grissom was seated on Lindsay's right and Catherine was on her left. Catherine could pretend that they were actually a family for tonight. It felt so right. Grissom was carrying on with the conversation at the table but he did not neglect Lindsay. In fact, he had even made sure that Catherine's plate was well-filled without her asking.

Catherine didn't know that it was possible to feel so much love and admiration for a man. Grissom attended to her and Lindsay and his guests very well. Catherine did help Lindsay to eat without making a mess of her new dress, but Grissom did all that he could for Lindsay. He cut her food up and made sure that she got what she wanted.

The whole team was relaxed and jovial. The conversation was light-hearted and energetic. Catherine absorbed it all with relish. Tonight, she would not think about the future. She would just enjoy herself with her family.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

"Thank you for having us over, y'all," said Greg cheerily, as he prepared to leave.

"Yeah, thanks Grissom. Thanks Catherine. It was a great dinner," said Nick, who would have to send Greg home.

Catherine was stunned that they thanked her as well. They shouldn't. She blushed a bit as she bade them a good night.

"Thank you for the wonderful meal, you two. Good night," said Brass, leaving.

Sara looked vaguely unhappy. Warrick read her expression and grabbed her hand.

"Come on, Sara," he whispered in her ear.

Turning to his host, he said "Been a pleasure, Gris. You should host more. You guys throw a great party." Warrick also smiled at Catherine.

He practically pulled Sara along.

"Uh, thanks Grissom," was all Sara could say.

Warrick had steered her out the door and into his car within seconds.

Sara was annoyed.

"Why'd you grab me like that?" she hissed to Warrick, as he got in the car.

Warrick simply sighed, saying "It was time to go, Sar."

They drove to Sara's place in silence.

Grissom heaved a sigh of relief as he shut the door on his last guests.

"Tired?" he asked the strawberry-blonde, who was still standing in the hallway.

"Quite," answered Catherine with a shy smile. She realized that Grissom had not bothered to correct his guests when they had thanked her as well. It made her feel supremely happy for some reason.

"Care for a last glass of wine?" asked Grissom, spying the last opened bottle.

"Okay," agreed Catherine softly.

This was dangerous ground. They were alone together. They had already drunk some wine. Not that much, but enough that Catherine was feeling comfortably relaxed and languid. Lindsay had been put to bed some time ago. The little girl had been exhausted.

But tonight was still not over. Catherine had allowed herself to enjoy the night. So what could another glass of wine hurt? She ignored the part of her mind that protested. It was just another glass of wine.

"Thank you," she said sweetly, as he poured her a glass of wine.

Catherine stretched out slowly, draping herself over one end of the couch. She was quite unconscious of the alluring view she presented. Grissom watched her as she closed her eyes for a bit.

She was dressed in a simple, sleeveless emerald-green dress. Her hair had been pinned up but now many tendrils had escaped to frame her face softly. She held the glass of wine loosely. On her face was an expression of contented bliss.

Grissom's mind and body instinctively reacted to this spectacular view of his personal goddess. He knew that it was probably not a wise course of action to do what he wanted to do. It was still the wrong time and there were so many unresolved things between them. But he was tired of waiting. He wanted her so very badly.

Grissom remembered the last time he had held her in his arms. He ached to do so again. Living with her had only intensified that ache. It had been amplified beyond measure by her close proximity every single day.

He moved towards her purposefully. He kneeled down by her side. Catherine had yet to open her eyes. He grasped the wine-glass that she held in her hand. He removed it from her grasp to place it somewhere else.

At the contact, Catherine's eyes snapped open. She found herself only inches away from Grissom's face. His eyes were smouldering pools of desire and need. Her barriers were down and there was no way to erect them right now, she was mesmerized.

She watched as his eyes drew nearer and told of his passion and love for her. Grissom leaned in nearer and nearer. Closing the gap between them one tiny centimetre at a time. It was sweet torture. Catherine could not look away from his intense gaze.

At this point, she didn't want to. The passion between them was undeniable. It had been sublimated for so long and now emerged with a vengeance. The very air they breathed crackled with electricity. Closer, yet still closer.

Grissom stopped, just when his lips nearly touched hers. Catherine gave a small whimper. She was now uncaring of anything else. She needed him to kiss her. But he was ever the gentleman. He had to be sure.

"Cath," he breathed.

Catherine moved in and captured his lips with hers. She pulled him closer, onto her. She needed to feel him so desperately.

The moment their lips met, there was no turning back. Grissom had somehow known this and had held back just before kissing her, to allow her to refuse. What he didn't know was that there was no way Catherine could have refused. She wanted him just as much as he wanted her, with an insatiable yearning and desperation.

Their kisses and caresses varied in character as they held each other for the first time in so long. Their kisses changed from soft and sweet to hard, needy and passionate kisses alternating between the myriad of emotions coursing through their bodies. It had never been simple with them. Everything was so complicated.

But tonight, no matter how complicated, they drew strength from each other. As they loved each other, they revisited their past and explored their future. Barriers were down, every unrelenting emotion surfacing in the intimacy of their physical union. Would they be able to survive the consequences tomorrow?


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Catherine woke up as usual in the bed that she had been occupying alone for the past few weeks. But last night she had not slept in it alone. Grissom had reclaimed his bed, with her in it. Yet this morning, he was not beside her, although there was evidence enough that he had been there in the night.

She glanced at the sunlight filtering in through the blinds. It was well into the morning already. Listening closely, she could hear sounds from Grissom and Lindsay. No wonder Grissom was up and about. He always made it a point to be awake and have breakfast prepared for Lindsay. He even delighted in helping Lindsay get ready for a brand new day, when she woke up.

Her irrational fears put to rest. Catherine relaxed back into the delicious warmth of the bed. She had never had the luxury of waking up in a bed which still bore the scent of the man who had loved her like no other. She knew that Grissom would be able to handle Lindsay perfectly well by himself. She relished some time to herself, enjoying this comfortable bed.

Truth be told, Catherine had not been comfortable occupying this bed until last night. She mused over the thought. She wondered why. Maybe because the bed's owner had not taken his rightful place in it. At first she had been uncomfortable because of the guilt that had gnawed at her for taking his bed and making him use another, although it had been his command, not her request. The bed itself was not to blame for it was very comfortable.

Catherine sighed. Who was she kidding? She knew exactly why. She had always wanted him next to her as well. Sleeping on his bed without him had been uncomfortable because she had yearned so badly for him to be with her. And last night, he had been.

Catherine shied away from thinking about the actual consequences of their actions. She was still very much married to another man. What she had done was wrong. But she didn't want to face that fact. She wanted to hold on to the fantasy that they had created in this safe haven together. They were a happy family and they would stay that way always.

The taunting voice was back.

"It was the wine," it told her darkly.

"And the atmosphere and your dress. Remember that all men generally want one thing and they have always thought that you were useful for that," it reminded her.

"Now you're even. You seduced him when you wanted to. And he took you when he wanted to. Do you think he really loves you?" continued the voice mercilessly.

Catherine tried to shut out her thoughts. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't completely banish her deepest fears. They just went away for a little while.

"Mommy!" greeted Lindsay happily, as she saw her mother come down the stairs.

"Hello, beautiful. You're just in time for lunch. Rest well?" said Grissom with a beaming smile on his face.

Catherine flashed a smile at him but did not say anything. Instead, she instantly occupied herself by playing with Lindsay. She did not look into his eyes with that smile.

Grissom frowned slightly. He knew that they had many things to work out. But he had hoped that she would be willing to see reason. Last night had been better than anything he had dreamed or remembered. He had been hoping that she felt the same.

He woke up this morning with such hopes. Dreams that he had kept at bay for some time now came rushing back to the surface. She had welcomed him into her bed last night and it was more than he had dared to think about. He had begun to think that he would be able to convince her to stay with him. Be with him always. Had he misread her so much?

The rest of the day was spent centred around the little girl they both adored more than life itself. They looked like a perfect family. But both Catherine and Grissom carried the distinct knowledge that something was wrong. Little Lindsay was mercifully spared the torment that inflicted her loving parents. She enjoyed herself this day very much. She was a generally bright and happy child. She could of course be naughty and fretful at times, she was only human. But Catherine was firm enough and Grissom was learning to cope with these brief spells. All was right in her little world.

"Cath, we need to talk," said Grissom, holding her by the arm as they left Lindsay's bedroom after tucking her in.

Catherine did not reply but made her way to the couch and sat down. Grissom surveyed her expression and opted to take an arm- chair next to her, pulling it closer to the couch, instead of sitting on the couch as well. Neither said anything for a while.

"Last night," began Grissom softly.

Catherine did not meet his eyes.

"Thank you," he said, wanting to touch her but afraid.

"It was very special to me," he murmured.

"We're even," she said, unable to stop herself. She didn't know why she was so bent on destroying the beauty of last night.

"Excuse me?" asked Grissom, in bewilderment.

"I'm still married," she said softly and sadly.

"Divorce him," said Grissom, immediately.

Catherine then looked up at him. There were already tears in her eyes, threatening to spill over.

"Can't you feel my love for you? I'll do anything for you. You have my heart, truly," said Grissom, taking her hand and placing it gently over his heart.

Catherine battled her emotions valiantly.

"I'm afraid," she said at last.

"Afraid of what?" he asked.

Her answer made his heart crumble and shatter into a million tiny pieces.

"I'm afraid of you," she said.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Grissom swallowed and tried desperately to speak. But for the moment, her words had stunned him into total silence. He did not know what to do next.

Catherine saw the hurt and sorrow that she caused him, simply by her careless words. Her tears started falling in earnest as she realized why her resolution to leave him had been valid and necessary. He would be so much better off without her in his life, if only he could see that. She was only going to bring pain to him and probably Lindsay as well. She had to leave, but he had made her so happy that she had forgotten why.

Her heart went out to him, the look of horror and desperation on his face. This time she would make him understand. The last time she had not explained anything to him. This time she would tell him why. She owed him that.

Catherine took both his hands in hers. Grissom had bowed his head down after her devastating answer. Catherine held both of his hands in her lap and used her other hand to lift his face to look at hers.

"Listen, to me," she pleaded softly.

He looked at her. His eyes were starting to tear slightly as well. She ran a soft hand over his cheek.

"I know that you'd never hurt me. I know that you are too much of a wonderful man to ever even try such a thing," she said clearly, looking into his eyes.

She registered his look of utter relief. She continued to hold his gaze.

Grissom interrupted, "My outburst in the office. It was just such a shock." He was silenced by a finger on his lips.

"Ssshhh, I understand. Believe me, you handled that very well," she said with sincerity.

"How do I make you understand this? That you'll always know what I did and what I can do. You can't change who I am. I'm not asking you to.

I will always be the woman who loved you and left you. Who took your daughter away from you and never even wanted to let you see her. Who has lied to you and caused you so much pain, by being selfish," she said slowly.

Grissom tried to say something but she hushed him still with her finger.

"You say you can forgive me that. Okay, but how can you ever really forget such betrayal? And one day, maybe when my beauty is gone and when Lindsay is grown-up you'll wonder why you ever wanted me in the first place. Maybe it won't even take so long. You'll wonder why it is that you have tied yourself to such a woman as me. And then you'll break my heart for good," she continued sadly.

"You'll still keep your promises, I know. But I don't think I would be able to survive living with you when your love for me is gone. Not after having received it for so long. And trust me, at this rate, a year of this, would be the longest and happiest of my life. If it ran on to many years, I just wouldn't be able to bear living with you without your love because I know you'd still stay," said Catherine.

"With Ed, I know what to expect. He's all I deserve anyway. With him, I'll always know and understand where I stand. Please try to see. Maybe I should divorce him and maybe I will. But even if I do, I can't be with you," she said with regret.

She looked at him tenderly, affectionately. She again caressed his cheek softly.

"I'm afraid to ever lose your love. Because I love you too much. Now, I have it and I'm so grateful. So let me go. I'll always have this to remember and you and Lindsay will have each other. That way, I'll never have to see you disillusioned and hurt by me again. Not that I've ever brought you much more than grief anyway. Gil, you must let me go," she pleaded.

Grissom listened to all of her words in silence. He began to get a glimpse of why she had broken his captive heart the first time. He began to understand a little bit of the complex being that was Catherine Willows.

He remembered waking up alone in his hotel room, six years ago. He remembered calling out her name and searching for her frantically when she didn't respond. She hadn't left any sort of contact details.

The only thing she had left of her presence was her scent on the sheets and her warmth on the bed. That had disappeared easily enough. He remembered realizing in a panic that he never took down any of her formal details.

Oh, there were many details, she had shared with him. He knew intimate details about her and details of her life and childhood. But none were useful to help him find her apart from her name. Catherine Reed.

He racked his brains and found that he could not remember how to get to her apartment. He had not noticed anything that night but her. She had led him to her home. He was so caught up with her, he had not known anything else. The landmarks of that walk were non- existent in his mind. She had made him so unmindful of anything else.

He had waited desperately for her to contact him. To come back and tell him that she had been joking. He had extended his stay for as long as he could make his vacation time last.

Finally, he had gone back to San Francisco. The bitter knowledge of her abandonment dawned slowly but surely. He went back to his job and his life, but had never been able to let go of the image of Catherine Reed.

He had gone through many months of an intense emotional roller-coaster. That had passed. In the end, all he had wanted was to find her again and ask her why. He never admitted that she still held his heart until she came back into his life.

If he was completely honest with himself, she was a part of the reason why he had come to work in Las Vegas. She had also been a factor that weighed against him taking the job. But in the end, his longing to find her again had won out. He had accepted the position and he had found her. Now, she wanted to leave him again.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Grissom carefully arranged the framed photograph of Lindsay on his office desk. Upon his return, his first task had been to put up some of Lindsay's best artwork on the walls and a few photographs of his daughter. Some photographs included him in it. He had taken many of Lindsay and Catherine but he did not display those.

Grissom managed to position the photograph to his satisfaction and proceeded to sit down at his desk. He had come in about an hour early to enable himself to catch up. He wasn't surprised at the amount of work that had piled up on his desk. But catching a glimpse of his daughter's cheery smile in the photograph, Grissom did not regret a single moment of his vacation time. It had been mostly wonderful.

Spending unlimited time with Lindsay had been pure joy. Spending time with her mother, Catherine could not be classified so easily. The woman granted him moments of sheer ecstasy and evened those out with seconds of unbearable agony. And as always, Grissom shook his head ruefully. His thoughts drifted back to her. It was inevitable.

The remaining week he had spent at home after their heart- wrenching conversation had not been easy. They had talked more. But the conclusion of those talks was still not completely satisfactory to Grissom.

He was learning the hard way, that while you could love a person completely, you couldn't make the person love themselves if they refused to. Catherine stubbornly clung to the idea that her leaving was the best thing for them all. He had been unable to do or say anything to amend that.

In frustration, Grissom had finally made her promise to tell him when she would leave. Right now, the cast from her leg had not been removed. So there was no worry of her leaving just yet. Catherine had promised to tell him before she left and to not just disappear. He knew that she would break that promise if it suited her, but it was the best he could do. He would not use force to make her stay. He would just have to cope with things as they came.

When they had been able to ignore the unease between them, they had made many happy memories. Grissom simply resolved to treasure those memories. He had learnt that getting angry simply did not help anything. And besides, without him being conscious of it, he had already forgiven Catherine for her mistakes. She had given him Lindsay. He would forgive her far more for that miracle in his life. He had made up his mind to accept the consequences of life and move on.

"Put on some weight from all that vacation time, have you?" was Brass' greeting as he stepped into Grissom's office. He was the first person to come by, so far.

Grissom simply raised his eyes towards his friend. He was flipping through a report.

"Did you know that our lab's success rate has dropped 0.7% in the last month?" said Grissom, with a slightly annoyed voice.

"Oh, what a catastrophe! A 0.7% drop," snorted Brass.

Grissom simply gave him a look.

"Oh come on, Gil. The kids were doing fine. They just lacked a bit of motivation and finesse sometimes. The temporary supervisor wasn't all too happy to get bumped to nights. So they dropped a few sticks. It happens," said Brass.

"At least none of them are applying for a promotion or anything now," responded Grissom.

Brass rolled his eyes. He tossed the file he had brought in, on the table.

"Here, thought you might like to read this," said Brass.

Grissom gave him a curious look, as the detective did not elaborate. Upon reading the name on the file, Grissom's expression darkened.

"When did you get this?" asked Grissom. He skimmed through the pages recording Eddie Willows' criminal charges.

"A few weeks ago. Brought it by when I visited with Warrick but I left it in the car. Didn't feel like a good time to share then," said Brass casually.

"Have they found him?" asked Grissom.

"No, Ed Willows hasn't turned up on the radar so far. The kids traced Catherine's story. Found the place where he left her, found the vehicle. But no Ed Willows. Was a dead end," said Brass.

Grissom frowned.

"He left her for dead," said Grissom in a quiet voice.

Having known Grissom for so long, Brass knew that he was highly disturbed and deadly furious when he used that voice.

"Looks like it. But she survived," he said, watching Grissom carefully.

"If they get him, she'll have to testify," continued Brass.

Grissom read through the charges listed. His frown deepened.

"The most serious charge you have against him is assault and battery. Jim, he nearly killed her. Where's attempted murder?" said Grissom, in the same tone of voice.

Brass had anticipated this already. He took a deep breath.

"We can't gather enough conclusive evidence to charge him with that. The doctors who treated Catherine talked to us, but it wasn't enough. With Catherine's statement, that's the best we can do," he explained patiently.

"So at best he'll go away for five maybe six years and be out to hound her again, just when she's gotten back on her feet? That is if you catch him," sneered Grissom.

Brass sighed.

"Thought you should be clear on that," he said.

Grissom looked away. He was seething, Brass knew.

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger. I thought you'd better hear it from me than someone else. I'll leave you to calm down for a bit. Don't forget the assignments," said Brass, getting up to leave.

"Oh, and Grissom," said Brass, with his hand on the door knob.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Be smart," advised Brass, as he left.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Grissom entered the break room and was greeted by cheerful smiles from his team. They had missed his leadership. The temporary supervisor was only too glad to return to her day job.

"Hey, Gris," greeted Warrick.

"Welcome back, Grissom," said Nick.

"Hello, Grissom," said Sara.

Grissom responded with a lift of his eyebrows and a general "Hello, everyone." But he was smiling. It was good to be back.

"Okay here's what we've got," said Grissom, getting to the task at hand. The rest of the shift passed without any major hitches. The team worked together smoothly.

Sara was very glad that Grissom was back and that she got to work with him for this shift. He was different somehow. More relaxed, in a way. She did her job even as she observed her supervisor intently. Most of the tasks Sara could already do blindfolded, when it came to processing a crime scene. Grissom was more interesting to her.

Sara was still in denial about the fact that Grissom was obviously not in love with her and had a child now. He was actually rather obviously at the very least attracted to his daughter's mother. The guys talked about it sometimes. But somehow Sara refused to believe the facts.

She still clung to the distant hope that maybe someday he would be hers. She beamed when he talked to her and followed him around like a puppy. Tonight, the guys had their own scene, so it was just her and Grissom. Sara was thoroughly enjoying that fact. It was very pleasant to be chosen to work with him, reading more into his assignment of cases than Grissom had ever intended.

As they were finishing up, Grissom received a phone call. Sara was more or less done and waiting for him to leave. She couldn't help but inch closer to listen in on the phone call. Grissom didn't notice her, as he had turned away upon receiving the call. That told Sara that it wasn't a work-related phone call.

"That's fine. Is there something the matter?" asked Grissom.

"Tell her I missed tucking her in too. Is she okay?" he continued.

"Okay, give her the phone," said Grissom after the other person said something.

Sara listened as Grissom talked lovingly to his daughter. She didn't understand how Lindsay could hear him. Sara did not know that they had had Lindsay fitted out with some hearing aids that she was just getting used to. If they worked well, Lindsay would be able to have at least partial hearing.

But some of the new sounds frightened Lindsay. It gave her nightmares at night, even when she had taken them off. She had woken up crying and that was why Catherine had called Grissom at work. Lindsay missed her doting father.

Grissom spent some time saying soothing words to calm his daughter. Then when she had ceased crying, told her to go to sleep. He promised to be there when she woke up. Sara was disappointed because that meant he probably wouldn't have breakfast with them or work overtime. Then he said a few words to Catherine and ended the call.

Sara moved discreetly away, ready to leave the crime scene and not wanting to be caught eavesdropping. But Grissom did not come immediately. He stood for a few minutes and stared at his phone. Sara wondered at his behaviour. He usually didn't allow anything personal to interfere with his job. He had always worked without a thought for anything or anyone else. Now he seemed unsure. He gave a sigh and walked slowly to the Tahoe.

Grissom did not spare a glance at Sara as he got in. She got in as well and started to discuss an element of the case. Grissom didn't respond. She had to ask him a few times and he answered in as few words as possible. It was evident that his mind was elsewhere.

Sara finally gave up and sat in silence. Grissom had certainly changed. His legendary focus on the job at hand was definitely slipping. All because of a little girl. Sara didn't even consider her mother occupying Grissom's thoughts. She much preferred to ignore the details of how Lindsay had come into the world.

Grissom was silent and distracted for the rest of the shift. They closed the case and Grissom left the minute their shift ended. Nick and Warrick were surprised but exchanged knowing grins. Sara scowled at the grins. She was unhappy that he had left so quickly.

Grissom had barely said a word to her after that phone call. He had not neglected his job in any way. But the only times he spoke to her were to instruct her to do something. She didn't like this change at all.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

"See you two on Thursday evening," called Warrick, as he shut his locker. He was going home and had the night off.

"Don't you want to have breakfast?" asked Nick.

"Greg says he wants to try the new café nearby," added Nick.

Warrick looked at his watch.

"It'll have to be a quick one. But sure," answered Warrick.

"Why? What do you have planned?" asked Sara, who was standing close by.

Warrick grinned.

"You got a date, don't you man?" smirked Nick.

"Not exactly," said Warrick.

Sara tried to appear uninterested as she asked, "What do you mean not exactly?"

Warrick just continued grinning and left the locker room.

As expected, Nick continued to bug him about his plans when they reached the café. Greg heard and promptly joined in. Warrick had fun teasing them by giving them indirect clues as to why he needed to have breakfast quickly. Finally, he enlightened them.

"I'm going to help take care of Lindsay for a few hours," he laughed.

"Baby-sitting? Dude! What's gotten into you?" exclaimed Greg.

"I thought you were off on a hot date," he continued, with a crestfallen expression.

"Hey, looking after Lindsay should be fun. It's like looking after you but without the lab and probably easier," said Nick.

Everyone else laughed and agreed. Greg pretended to be hurt by the comment.

"Why do you need to watch Lindsay?" asked Sara, secretly relieved that he was not going on a date. But she wouldn't have admitted to feeling so even under severe torture. Actually she didn't understand why she would feel so. She shouldn't care whether Warrick had a date or not. She was interested in Grissom, who still didn't seem to get that. But she felt something that was weird and unexpected.

"Gris needs to take Catherine to remove the cast. And apparently Lindsay is not feeling so well today, so she didn't go to kindergarten," explained Warrick.

"Sick child? Warrick, you sure you know what you're doing right? I mean, kids are sweet but not so much when they're sick. The last time I took care of one of my nieces who got sick, she threw up all over me," said Nick.

Warrick stared at him.

"But you adore her anyway," Warrick told Nick.

"Oh yeah, Jamie is cute as a button, but I'm used to it. I have four sisters with several kids each. I have to be," said Nick, with a smile.

"Shouldn't be too difficult, I think. Grams sometimes watched some of the neighbours' kids when I stayed with her. I'll be all right," shrugged Warrick.

"Just remember that Lindsay will probably not be as sweet- tempered as you remember her to be. Being sick makes kids really uncomfortable and then they become whiny and demanding," advised Nick.

"Yes, sir," laughed Warrick.

Nick laughed too. Greg was busy teasing and wheedling Sara about something since he had lost interest in their conversation after Warrick's revelation of his unglamorous plans for the day.

"Greg, I will not go with you to the Charity Ball," came Sara's exasperated voice.

Both Warrick and Nick heard that and raised their eyebrows at each other. They decided it was time to intervene. Sara looked like a thundercloud and Greg simply refused to back off.

"Greg, cool it, Sara can't go with you," said Warrick.

"Yeah, Greg. Go find someone else," chimed in Nick.

"But why can't she be my date? It's not like she's going with anyone. And the Sheriff says that everyone from the lab have to attend this time. So it makes perfect sense," pushed Greg.

Sara glared at him.

"Well, you need to find another person to be your date," she fumed.

Nick and Warrick started to wish that they had paid closer attention earlier. Greg must have said something to really annoy Sara. She usually put up with his teasing reasonably well.

Nick suddenly had a brilliant idea. He couldn't take Sara since he had already asked someone to go with him. He remembered Warrick telling him that he was going to go solo to the ball because there was no one he wanted to ask. Nick crossed his fingers and jumped in.

"She can't go with you because she's going with Warrick," said Nick.

Three heads snapped to look at him with incredulous eyes.

Nick concentrated on looking at Warrick, hoping that he would just play along. This could be sorted out later. Right now, it was the best way to prevent Greg from being ground to pulp. Sara was looking angrier by the second.

Warrick gave him a look. But he caught on very quickly. Then he turned to Greg.

"Yeah, she's going with me," he said to Greg.

"Right, Sara?" went on Warrick, looking at the brunette.

Sara just didn't reply. She looked back at him mutely. Now she was shocked but still angry.

"Huh," said Greg, not noticing Sara's expression as he was facing Warrick.

"Oh, well, I tried," said Greg with a shrug.

"Just thought I had a chance since Grissom is obviously bringing someone else," said Greg offhandedly, continuing with his meal.

Warrick and Nick now knew exactly what had set Sara off. Greg was a little dense at times. But then again he probably didn't know how deeply Sara felt for Grissom since he did not work around her all that much. It was not his fault. Sara, on the other hand, needed to face the reality that Grissom did not see her that way.

"Okay, guys. It's been fun. But I've got to go change and get to Grissom's place," said Warrick standing up.

"You want a ride back? I could drop you off on the way," offered Warrick to Sara.

He felt that it was probably better to remove her from the table now. Greg's words had been harmless. But there was no telling how Sara had taken them. She had gotten a ride with Nick because her care was being serviced. She also had to work tonight and Warrick was hoping to talk to her so that she would calm down. It would make the shift easier on everybody.

Sara didn't look very eager. But then Nick nudged her as well. She agreed and got up to leave. The two said goodbye and left. Warrick, always a gentleman, allowed her to precede him out the door.

Sara looked out the car window in silence. Warrick sighed. But he knew he would have to start talking. Someone had to try to talk some sense into the woman.

"So, Sara, would you like to go to the Charity Ball with me?" he asked.

That got her attention. Whatever she thought he was going to say, that wasn't it. Her head snapped to look at him.

Warrick winced mentally at her stare but held his gaze steadily on the road. There was no outward sign of his wince.

"Why are you asking me?" she said, in a strange voice.

"Because I want to," answered Warrick. It was also quite surprising to him that he actually meant what he had just said. He understood Nick's maneuverings back at the café. Sometimes, Greg just wasn't so smart.

Sara stared at him. Taking advantage of a red light, Warrick looked into her eyes. Sara turned away.

"Sara, Grissom isn't going to ask you to go with him," he told her gently.

Sara had a stubborn expression on her face, as he glanced her way again.

Warrick sighed. He couldn't understand why she was so hung up over a man who simply looked upon her as a protégé. Warrick knew that he himself was another of Grissom's protégés. Sara always read too much into Grissom's actions towards her.

Grissom was quite oblivious to Sara's infatuation, he knew. It had not been very evident why initially. But as soon as he had found out about the strawberry-blonde in Grissom's life. Warrick had understood. Sara had never had a chance. Grissom had been unavailable for a long time now.

For crying out loud! They had a daughter together, were currently living together and had hosted a dinner party together. Why on earth did Sara think that she still stood a chance with their supervisor, he could not understand at all. He really didn't want to see her hurt. But she seemed determined to be.

"Sara, he's not available. Catherine is the main woman in his life. Why can't you see that?" said Warrick.

Sara kept silent.

They reached her apartment block. Warrick stopped the car but didn't unlock the door. He tried a last ditch attempt to make her see reason.

"Sara, look at me," he instructed. He grasped her arm and turned her towards him. Her expression was hostile, her eyes shaded.

He gently held her chin.

"You are a beautiful woman, who would make any man feel lucky. There are a lot of guys out there who would love your attention. Don't waste your time on someone who can't be what you want," he pleaded softly.

He looked into her eyes. They were very close now. Sara's eyes had grown wider as he had talked. Now she sat with a stunned expression on her face.

Warrick leaned in and brushed a feather-soft, barely there kiss on her lips. He released her chin and sunk back into his seat. He unlocked the car doors.

Sara was still stunned. She slowly got out of the car.

"Umm, thanks for the ride," she said shyly. There was a flush on her cheeks. She could barely meet his eyes. She hurried into the building.

Warrick sat back and closed his eyes for a second. Where had all that come from? He certainly never planned anything of the sort. He had only meant to prevent her from giving everyone hell on the next shift. That had been quite unexpected.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Warrick reflected on the truth of Nick's words as he stood on the driveway, outside Grissom's house. Lindsay was in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder. She was wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants and clutching her teddy bear in one arm as usual. Her other arm was clasped loosely around his neck. Warrick walked up and down with gentle strides.

It had definitely been a new experience for Warrick. His respect for all parents jumped several notches. As soon as Lindsay had woken up from her nap, she had been fretful and difficult.

Upon realizing that her parents were not around, Lindsay had started crying for them. Nothing Warrick did seemed to have a calming effect. He brought her toys and tried to give her a drink. He switched on the television with her favourite show and played some music on the cd player. He mopped her brow with a cool cloth. She still cried, alternating between loud wails and softer sobs and calling for her mommy and daddy. He tried every other thing he could think of.

Finally, as a last resort he had carried her outside. After nearly an hour of non-stop crying, Warrick was beyond caring about what the neighbours would think. Initially, he had been worried that someone would think that Lindsay was being mistreated. But then he was too busy trying to make her stop crying.

It had felt like the longest hour of his life. But coming outside had worked. Lindsay had relaxed against him and stopped wailing. He wasn't sure whether it was from exhaustion or the change of scenery but Warrick was just extremely grateful that she had stopped crying. Now she only whimpered a bit and sniffled against his shoulder. It was a big improvement from what she had been doing and Warrick heaved a few sighs of relief.

He continued walking up and down with Lindsay. He sang a few songs to her and rubbed her back. She appeared to be settling quite well. She gradually became silent and just watched her surroundings. Warrick's voice seemed to soothe her.

Warrick could feel her going limp against him. It would be good for her to go back to sleep. She needed the rest. He continued gently crooning to her. He was concentrating mostly on Lindsay and did not really notice what was around him. It was after all, his first experience caring for a sick child. He was not paying attention to anything else.

"Daddy!" suddenly said Lindsay. She pointed and struggled a bit to be let down. But she was still weak.

Warrick's head snapped up in shock at her call. He did not hear or see a car coming. Besides, it was too early still. Grissom had told him that they would only be back around seven or so.

As he looked around, Warrick still did not see Grissom and Catherine coming back. In fact, the street had been quiet for the past few minutes. No one had been in sight. Warrick turned in a circle.

Lindsay was still pointing and saying "Daddy! Go daddy."

But he did not see anyone. He pulled Lindsay back to look at him. It was impossible to sign to her as he was carrying her. She seemed positive that she saw her father. However Warrick knew that it could not be as Grissom would surely come back in his vehicle.

Warrick took her to the front steps and sat down. He shifted her in his lap and started signing. He had gotten much better by now.

"Where is daddy?" he asked.

Lindsay pointed to a corner, where all Warrick could see was a few trees.

"No honey, your daddy's not back yet. He went out with mommy," said Warrick.

Lindsay shook her head and looked like she would start crying again.

"Not this daddy. Other daddy," she signed.

Warrick's eyes grew wide at her words. He quickly scooped her up, held her close and looked around intently. Lindsay had just said that she had seen Eddie Willows. He wished that he had his gun right about now. He had not brought it over, thinking that it would be pointless.

Warrick decided to go back into the house. He moved quickly, with Lindsay held tightly in his arms. The little girl was starting to cry again but Warrick didn't care. He cursed himself for not being alert and paying closer attention to his surroundings. He did not see a man matching Eddie Willows description right now. But it did not necessarily mean that Lindsay had not seen him.

He went in and locked the door behind him. Then he went behind to ensure that the back door was locked and checked all the windows. It was better to be safe than sorry. It was a possibility that Lindsay had been mistaken. But from what he remembered of how Eddie had torn up his house, Warrick wasn't taking any chances. Grissom would kill him if anything happened to Lindsay.

Lindsay was wailing again. Warrick sighed. He resumed pacing and singing to her softly. He had his hand on his cell phone, just in case. He would call Brass later. Just to check if Eddie was back in town. Right now, there was not much else he could do and he needed to pacify Lindsay.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

"Are you planning to leave soon?" said Grissom as he drove back towards his house. The question was asked in a calm voice, as if he were simply asking her what she wanted to eat.

Catherine's cast had been removed but she still needed to use the crutches. The physiotherapist had taught her some simple exercises to perform at home to help strengthen her leg muscles.

Catherine also had a follow-up appointment in a couple of days' time.

Catherine glanced at him. She couldn't read the expression on his face. It was something that she regretted. She remembered when his expression spoke clearly concerning his emotions. Now his face was a closed off mask. She wondered if her actions had led to this change. She thought that it was a distinct possibility. Catherine sighed softly.

"I can't move around very well yet. And you still need someone to take care of Lindsay. You haven't found a nanny for her already, have you?" she replied.

Grissom gave a slight shake of his head.

"I'm not going yet. I will tell you first. I probably need to get a job before I move out. I don't think my old one would have me back," she told him.

Grissom did not say anything else. Catherine switched on some music and stared out the window. They were still unable to get past this impasse. Their conversations were uncomfortable and stilted. They only relaxed around each other when Lindsay was around. A part of Catherine wished desperately that she could move out sooner.

Yet, another part of her told her vehemently to stay. Grissom had actually told her that she could simply stay on to care for Lindsay and that he would pay her. Somehow that didn't feel right, to be employed to care for her own daughter by the girl's father. What a tangled web she had woven of her life!

In actual fact, Grissom had just been trying another way to get her to stay. He meant that she didn't need a job because he could well afford to provide for her and Lindsay adequately. He wanted to give her the option of being a stay-at-home mother. But it hadn't come out very well. Mostly due to the fact that Grissom tried too hard to phrase it so that she wouldn't realize what he actually meant and it had turned out in a totally different context. Words could be complicating at times.

Catherine rested her head against the seat and her current ongoing fantasy flashed into her mind. It consisted of her dressed up to the nines, walking into the Charity Ball on Grissom's arm. It had been prevalent ever since she had accidentally picked up the invitation card he had left lying on his briefcase.

There had been a handwritten, heavily underlined note at the bottom of the invitation ordering Grissom to attend, or else. Grissom had not said a thing about the event to her. If she were being completely honest with herself, she wished fervently that he would take her.

But Catherine knew that it was a futile wish. How could he show up at such a gathering of distinguished people with a victim of one of his lab's case files? He certainly couldn't bring her. He could never bring her anywhere. She was a disgrace. Her beautiful fantasy shattered in misery. He deserved better than her.

"Thank you very much, Warrick," said Catherine with a grateful and tired smile.

"You're welcome," he answered, with a smile of his own.

She shook his hand and went into Lindsay's room.

Warrick followed her form with his eyes briefly. He wondered what had happened between her and Grissom. They interacted differently now, compared to the night of the dinner party.

They had come back with some dinner and had invited him to eat with them. It was obvious that something was not right between them. The atmosphere at the table was very different from a few weeks ago. There were tense silences and many fake smiles. It had made Warrick intensely uncomfortable and he had quickly started to wish that he had left without having dinner. But then he remembered that he wanted to speak to Grissom alone, without seeming too obvious. Thus he had to sit through dinner patiently.

Warrick had breathed a sigh of relief when the dinner ended. Then he had volunteered to wash up. Grissom had carried the plates into the kitchen with him, enabling Warrick to tell him that he wanted a private word. Grissom nodded.

Then Grissom had gone to put Lindsay to bed. Catherine had followed, only pausing to thank Warrick. Many thoughts spun through Warrick's mind. His supervisor's life was a complete mystery, one that he was unlikely to ever unravel.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" asked Grissom wearily.

Warrick told Grissom about the incident in the evening. Grissom listened with an ever-deepening frown.

"Brass couldn't confirm or deny the probability that Eddie Willows is back. The police are on the lookout but they have too much to do as usual. Also, I'm not sure that Lindsay wasn't imagining things either," concluded Warrick.

Grissom was silent for a few minutes. He collected his thoughts.

"Lindsay has always been a frank and truthful child so far. I'm not sure that she would make up something like this. But then again she was sick so it's a possibility, of course. Thank you for informing me. I'll warn Catherine to be careful," he said.

Warrick looked at his mentor. He seemed to be weary and very troubled. Unlike the previous time Warrick had seen him in his home. Warrick wondered if he could help at all.

"Hey, Gris, is everything okay?" ventured Warrick, cautiously. He decided that it wouldn't hurt to ask.

To Warrick's surprise, Grissom didn't just brush off his concern immediately. Grissom heaved a sigh. He didn't look at Warrick. "Not really," admitted Grissom.

Warrick waited. If Grissom wanted to, he would tell him in his own time. Grissom had listened to him a lot in the past. It was a debt long overdue.

"How do you convince someone that," Grissom stopped. He seemed unable or unwilling to continue.

"That you care?" asked Warrick.

"Something like that," said Grissom.

Warrick thought for a moment.

"You never give up," he said to Grissom.

"No matter what happens, you just continue caring for them always," continued Warrick.

"Yeah," responded Grissom. No other words were forthcoming.

Warrick decided that it was time for him to leave.

"Good night, Grissom. Thanks for dinner," he said, standing up. Grissom walked him to the door.

"Thanks, Warrick. For everything," said Grissom, giving him a firm handshake.

"No problem, boss. See you next shift," said Warrick with a wave.

Grissom closed the door and went to get his things. He had arranged to go to work a bit later today.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

More than a month passed by without incident. Everyone staying in Grissom home had settled into a comfortable routine. Grissom woke Lindsay up and had breakfast with her and Catherine before taking her to kindergarten. Then he went to sleep and got up to spend some more time with Lindsay when she got back, before he had to go to work. He tried to avoid pulling double shifts and decreased his overtime hours drastically.

Catherine's leg was healing well. She went regularly for physiotherapy and was able to take good care of herself. She was in a comfortable and secure environment and did not have to worry about her circumstances for now. She also enjoyed caring for Lindsay and to be honest, Grissom as well. He usually made breakfast, but she tidied up the house and prepared the other meals for the day.

Grissom was still worried about her leaving but as the days went by, his fears abated somewhat. She appeared to be content and he was able to let himself enjoy her presence in his life. They became like a real family. Conversations became easier and more comfortable. However, their unresolved issues were studiously avoided. Grissom had now made his study his sleeping area. Catherine still slept in his room. They had not shared his bed since that one night.

Grissom was simply unwilling to drive Catherine away by forcing the issue and elected to let sleeping dogs lie. He wasn't sure what Catherine was thinking. Catherine for her part was grateful that he did not bring up those issues. It made it easier for her to tell herself that it would be for the best if she left. But at this point, no matter how often she reminded herself daily, she lacked the motivation to leave. Catherine kept telling herself that she should fully recover first and give herself the time to find a way to make something better of her own life. So the weeks continued passing by.

Lindsay was thriving wonderfully in this safe and secure environment. She adjusted well to using the hearing aids and was given glowing reports by the teachers in her new kindergarten. She was a joy and the light of both her parents' life. In turn, she lavished her love on them generously. Under her influence, Grissom became less closed off, even at work. Everyone at the lab marvelled at the difference in Grissom. Catherine's genuine, radiant smiles and laughter frequently came to the fore. Life was quite close to perfect.

csi * csi * csi * csi * csi

Grissom drove home wearily. It had been a long and hard shift. Nick had been off and they had been desperately shorthanded forcing him to juggle two serious cases. Sara and Warrick had their hands full as well and they even had to call in Greg to help out. Fortunately, he had caught a break on one case and managed to solve the other one quickly. As it was, he still had had to put in some overtime but had not needed to actually pull a double shift.

He was grateful that it was a Saturday morning. That meant that he could still have breakfast with his daughter and that he did not need to drive her to kindergarten. He didn't call Catherine to tell her that he would be late so that she could sleep in. He yawned tiredly. But he smiled as he thought of his daughter and her mother. Maybe after he slept, they could head to the park this evening. He was off for the night.

Grissom parked his vehicle and got out of the car. At first, he did not notice anything amiss. Then as he approached his front door, he realized that it was ajar. That brought him up with a start. Never in his experience had Catherine left the door ajar.

He had told her about what Warrick had said about Eddie. Catherine's eyes had flashed fear and wariness. She did not need to be told to keep the doors locked and to monitor Lindsay's movements when she played outside. Grissom knew then that Catherine was truly afraid of her husband.

Grissom's sleepiness evaporated instantly. He grabbed his firearm and moved cautiously. Being Grissom, he forgot to call for back-up. Right now, his heart was pounding and he desperately needed to know that Lindsay and Catherine were safe.

He pushed the door open carefully with the edge of his jacket, being careful not to disturb any prints on the door. He pressed his back against the wall and slowly looked into the living room. The sight that met his eyes confirmed his worst fears. Furniture and other items were scattered and destroyed. There seemed to be splashes of blood.

Grissom clamped down hard on his emotions and swallowed forcefully. He could now hear a roaring in his ears and his heartbeat accelerated painfully. He listened with all his might. There seemed to be no sound coming from anywhere in the house. Surely if the person who had done this were still here there would be noises.

He proceeded to Lindsay's room with his heart in his mouth. His own bedroom was further on. Her door was closed. He used his jacket again to open the door. The room was untouched. Grissom almost cried in sheer relief.

He could see his beautiful daughter in the bed, by the light coming from the windows. She appeared to be sleeping soundly, cuddled up with her teddy bear. Grissom allowed himself some time to stare at her and make sure that she was sleeping normally. He knew what that looked like because he had spent so much time just watching her sleep, unable to take his eyes off his precious daughter.

Then, Grissom closed the door and moved on. He went to his bedroom with more confidence. Lindsay was fine. Maybe, it was just a thief breaking in. His optimism only lasted for a few seconds.

In this room there was no one sleeping soundly in the bed. There appeared to be signs of a struggle, though it was not as bad as the living room. Grissom thought that he knew why. Catherine had drawn her attacker out, away from her sleeping daughter. Lindsay had not heard a thing. It was a blessing that she did not wear her hearing aids to bed.

Grissom knew without a doubt, that it had been Eddie Willows. He cursed himself for not calling earlier. He should have called to tell her that he would be late or just to check up on her. When he had first returned to work, he had done so every night. Sometimes, Catherine called him because of Lindsay. But either way, he was able to check up on things at home.

For the past couple of weeks or so, he had stopped calling every night. He only checked on alternate nights. He believed that Catherine would tell him before she left. And so far she had shown no signs of leaving. Being human, he had begun to feel more secure as the weeks passed by. So he did not call home every night anymore.

Now, he regretted the fact bitterly. Immediately, he took the blame on himself and the guilt started eating away at him. He had to force himself to stop and think clearly. He pulled out his cell phone and started to call Brass.

He had forgotten about caution by now, assuming that Ed Willows had left the house. He started to tell Brass about what had happened. Then suddenly everything went black.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Grissom slowly regained consciousness to the tune of what felt and sounded like elephants tap-dancing on his skull. He could hear someone crying and sniffling in the background. It sounded like a little girl. Groggily he struggled to take stock of his surroundings.

He was outside, in the open. It felt like he was on a stretcher. He groaned but made a tremendous effort to open his eyes. He couldn't remember why he was feeling the way he was, but he knew it could not be good.

On his first attempt, he quickly shut his eyes again. There was sunlight. He then laboriously dragged a hand over his eyes and opened them cautiously. He blinked several times to adjust to the light. The pounding in his head had not lessened. But he felt a great terror and somehow knew that headache or not, he had to deal with something urgently.

"He's coming around, sir," said somebody, nearby.

Brass' face came into view. He was considerate enough to block the sunlight.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

Grissom's thoughts were rapidly gathering themselves together. He was remembering what he had come home to find and what had put him in this position. He had more important things to say than to answer Brass' question about his well-being. He would live.

"Lindsay?" he asked, fearing the answer. The slight sniffling sounds did not register in his mind.

"She's fine. A little shook up by us bounding in on her room. Sorry, for that by the way. Warrick is holding her. They checked her out. Not a scratch or a mark at all," answered Brass.

Grissom closed his eyes in relief. He knew now that something awful had happened to Catherine. But if something had happened to Lindsay as well, he didn't even want to consider it. Lindsay was ok, she was safe. She would stay that way.

"What happened?" asked Brass.

Grissom sighed.

"I don't really know. One minute, I was on the phone with you, and then I wake up here," answered Grissom.

Brass looked at him in disapproval.

"You didn't think of calling for back-up earlier? Like before you entered the house? Gil, you know better," berated Brass in annoyance.

"Yes, I do," acknowledged Grissom.

"I wasn't thinking very well. Only about Linds and," Grissom didn't finish the thought.

Brass understood of course. He gave a sigh of his own.

"Have you guys found anything?" asked Grissom.

Brass hesitated. The next piece of news was going to annoy his friend to no end. But there was no help for it. It was protocol.

"The dayshift is still going through your house. There is no sign of Catherine anywhere nearby. We've put out a missing person alert on her. All the cops and authorities are on the look-out," said Brass.

Grissom frowned. He tried to get up, only to realize that his pounding head did not cooperate to the movement.

"Hey, easy there," exclaimed Brass, steadying Grissom.

"Sir, you need to lie back down. You need to get to a hospital for some scans, it's likely that you have a concussion," said the paramedic, who had taken care of Grissom.

Grissom only grunted at him and ignored the advice. He still continued to set himself upright and gripped his head with one hand.

"Dayshift?" he growled.

Brass shrugged.

"Graveyard is off-duty. Besides it's your house, and you're graveyard," answered Brass, there was nothing either of them could do anything about really.

"I should've called her, should've checked the whole house first," said Grissom, the guilt washing over him in full force.

"It's not your fault, Grissom," said Brass, knowing that his friend wouldn't believe those words, no matter how many times they were repeated.

"We need to get to her fast. God only knows what he's done to her this time. It was bad enough the last time," said Grissom, in a quiet voice. The quietness of his voice belied the rage and fury within.

Brass stared at him hard. Grissom did not notice. He was thinking.

"Grissom, you cannot go on a man-hunt for the guy, get it? The lab will trace him and we will go and get him. Don't go lone- rangering on this one," warned Brass.

Grissom didn't answer. Brass groaned internally, now he would have to find a way to watch Grissom. He didn't like the look on his face. Brass knew well that Grissom loved Catherine beyond measure. He had changed so much since she had been around. He did not trust Grissom to follow his warning.

"Someone would like to see her daddy now," came the deep voice of Warrick.

He approached the two men, carrying Lindsay in his arms. She was still in her pyjamas and clutching her teddy bear.

Warrick, Nick and Sara had been horrified to find Lindsay at yet another similar crime scene. They had followed after Brass, when he had ripped out of the building in a tearing hurry with a couple of cops behind him. He had simply yelled "Grissom's!" over his shoulder.

That word alone had been enough to make the three CSIs drop whatever they had been doing and race after the detective. Nick had come in to finish up a few things and have breakfast with his colleagues. He had driven simply because he had reached the driver's seat first. No one argued. Everyone was tense as they drove to Grissom's house. In front, they could hear the siren on the police car. It was obviously a very urgent matter.

Sara clasped her hands together hard and her knuckles were white with strain as she sat in the front passenger seat. Her lips were pursed in a line, her heart hammering in her chest. Warrick gripped the seats in front of him, willing Nick to drive faster, but did not say a thing. He knew that Nick was driving as fast as he could. It didn't stop Warrick from wishing that it could be faster though. Nick was thinking the same thing. He gritted his teeth and wished that he could go faster. What on earth had happened?

Upon reaching Grissom's house, Warrick had clamped a hand down hard on Sara's shoulder to prevent her from jumping out of the vehicle immediately. He got a deadly glare for his trouble but ignored it.

"We need to let the police do their work. Clear the place," he told her.

Brass and the policemen had already disappeared into the house. The three of them waited in agony in the Tahoe. A few minutes later, the paramedics came screeching up to a stop beside them.

At this point they figured that it would be safe to go in now. Brass reappeared in the doorway. He was holding a screaming and sobbing Lindsay in his arms. Warrick immediately walked over to take the girl. She was the most used to him, he knew.

"She was in her room. Just woke up, I think. We went in with guns blazing, she got spooked," explained Brass.

Warrick nodded as he took Lindsay. This was terrible. As he tried to soothe Lindsay, he fought back disturbing images of what might have happened. He knew that Grissom had gone home already. He knew that neither one of Lindsay parents would leave her alone. He had a nasty feeling about what had happened.

Warrick immediately regretted not doing more about Lindsay claiming to have seen Ed Willows that evening. His thoughts swirled around as he tried desperately to calm Lindsay and brought her over to a female paramedic to be checked out. His heart tore at the injustice of it all. Lindsay shouldn't have to go through this even once in her young life. Now she had to live through it twice.

Meanwhile, Nick and Sara had started to enter the house, but were barred by Brass. He told them that he had called in the dayshift. Sara's face had twisted into anger and she started to protest vehemently but Brass was firm. Nick was angry too but understood the reasoning. He pulled Sara towards Warrick and Lindsay.

Upon the sight of the little girl, both of them were silent. Both wishing with all their hearts that she didn't have to go through this again. Sara walked over of her own accord and Nick trailed behind slowly. Together they watched over Lindsay and waited for things to unfold.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

Grissom watched silently as Lindsay lay sleeping in her bed. They had been allowed back into the house by evening. Lindsay was extremely tired and went to sleep without much protest. Lindsay had cried for Catherine but was comforted by Grissom still being with her. Lindsay was very comfortable with Grissom now and was able to still feel secure with only him.

Grissom could feel intense guilt eating away at him as he watched his daughter sleep. There were so many things he could have done differently. He replayed recent events over and over again, blaming himself harshly for his failure in protecting Catherine and Lindsay. Lindsay was still safe but Catherine was gone.

He had been desperate to go out and search for Catherine by himself as soon as he could, but had had his hands full with taking care of Lindsay. Lindsay was very distressed by her mother's disappearance and the police barging into her room in the morning. She was even more upset when she found out that her father was hurt and had to be treated at the hospital.

Lindsay had cried and it had taken Grissom some time to reassure her that he wasn't going to disappear as well before he went in to have the wound on his head dressed and stitched. It was all Warrick and Sara could do to keep Lindsay quiet and wait patiently for Grissom.

Nick and Brass had immediately gone to search for Catherine by themselves. Greg was called to help as well. Warrick was entrusted with Lindsay and Sara stayed behind because she wanted to make sure that Grissom was fine. She did not really relish the idea of going to search for Catherine very much and she was very tired.

Sara leaned against the wall wearily as she watched Warrick do his best to soothe Lindsay by himself. Sara had seemed to only aggravate her more. She thought idly that he would make a great father. He wasn't doing too badly in calming Lindsay, considering what the little girl had gone through. Sara sighed, as her sharp eyes caught sight of the similarities in Lindsay's and Grissom's features. She knew that she didn't really stand a chance with Grissom but she still couldn't help wishing that somehow, it could still happen.

Sara watched as Grissom hurried out to take Lindsay despite the bandage on his head. Warrick looked at him warily before handing the little girl over. Sara wanted to open her mouth to ask if Grissom would like to stay at her place temporarily, but she didn't. She wasn't sure if she could take both him and Lindsay in her home, Lindsay was an obvious reminder that he would never be with her. She didn't know if she could handle that yet.

Sara need not have worried. Warrick immediately offered Grissom and Lindsay a place to stay for a few hours. Grissom announced that he wanted to go off searching for Catherine. Warrick did not argue and told him that he could leave Lindsay with his grandmother. Grissom quickly agreed.

Somehow, Sara found herself at Warrick's grandmother's apartment, being ushered in graciously by the woman herself. Grams, as she told everyone to call her, made them all eat breakfast and quite rapidly won Lindsay's trust.

It only took a little bit of coaxing to make Lindsay stay put with Grams while her father and Warrick went out to search for her mother. Sara was not asked to join them. She wasn't sure if they'd forgotten her or that they didn't want her to come. But she was stranded without a vehicle and looked around, in a bit of a daze.

Grams saw her and instantly told her to go to sleep. She bustled about and Sara was shown the small, but comfortable guest room. She was too tired to argue right now. So she simply thanked Grams and went to sleep.

"It's been 36 hours at least, since Catherine disappeared. Where on earth could he have taken her?" asked Nick in frustration.

No one had slept very much and tempers were high. The whole team was busy doing their actual job and helping to search for Catherine. They did it because they respected and cared for their supervisor but it was starting to seriously take its toll on all of them.

"Vegas is huge," commented Warrick.

They had done all that they could but there had been no easy answers. The dayshift crew had been literally harassed for details and they had already run afoul of Ecklie's temper. Unfortunately for him, he could not actually fire the whole team.

"She's probably dead by now," said Sara.

Nick, Warrick and Greg looked at her.

"What?" said Sara defensively.

"It's not my fault, you guys know the chances," she continued, in a defensive tone.

"We're not giving up on this. Lindsay needs her mother," said Warrick in a stern tone.

No one even mentioned the fact that Grissom needed her found too. In actual fact, they were all more worried about Grissom than Lindsay. Lindsay was young and she would probably be able to recover reasonably well if she lost her mother, but Grissom was a different story.

No one was sure if he had slept at all since Catherine had disappeared. The only reason he ever stopped working and searching for Catherine was because Lindsay needed him at times. He had always been obsessed with his job, now he was possessed with searching for Catherine. He simply never stopped.

All of them hoped fervently for his sake that Catherine would be found alive. Possibly with the exception of Sara. They could not imagine what would happen if she was not. None of them dared to even bring up the possibility in his presence. There was something distinctly alarming about the expression in Grissom's eyes. If Catherine was truly gone, then the consequences would be dire for everyone involved. But no one could bring themselves to imagine how it would affect Grissom himself.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

"Grissom," said Brass, striding up to the nightshift supervisor. Brass immediately caught hold of Grissom's arm firmly and looked straight into his eyes.

"They think that they found her," he started.

Grissom immediately opened his mouth to ask more. But he was stopped by the look Brass gave him.

"Listen to me," said Brass.

The look on Brass' face told Grissom nearly all that he needed to know.

"They told me about a case the swing shift got called to. They found a body matching Catherine's description quite well burnt beyond any chance of physical recognition in a car that crashed down a cliff. There was another body that had been flung out of the vehicle before it exploded, they have definitely identified the body as that of one Eddie Willows," stated Brass clearly.

Grissom did not say anything. Brass was extremely worried and concerned for his friend. He watched Grissom carefully.

"Have they verified her DNA?" asked Grissom after several long minutes dragged by.

Brass sighed as he took in the mask-like expression on Grissom's face. He was not showing any type of emotion right now. Brass knew that to be a very bad sign. However, Grissom didn't seem like he would go sprinting off immediately, so he let go of Grissom's arm slowly.

"No, they are processing the scene and will do so eventually. I just wanted to give you a heads up," answered Brass.

"Page me, when you get the results," said Grissom, in a neutral tone of voice.

He reached for a folder on his desk and sat down in his chair. There was no sign of agitation. He seemed very composed.

Brass nodded.

"Will do," he replied shortly. Brass then left the office. He closed the door behind him.

In his chair, Grissom sat absorbed in the file that he was reading. It was nearly time to give out the assignments. Swing shift would be over soon. He continued to read and evaluate the case.

By the time the night shift crew came in, they were aware of the latest findings. Word travelled fast and the CSI lab was certainly no exception to the rule. They were a quiet and sober bunch as they waited in the break room.

"Do you think it's her?" asked Nick, addressing Warrick.

Warrick looked extremely weary.

"I don't really know. It might be," he said slowly.

"Has anyone told Grissom?" asked Sara.

Both the men winced.

"I think probably Brass did," said Warrick.

"Yeah," agreed Nick.

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"How's Lindsay?" asked Nick, softly.

"Okay, I guess. She misses both her parents a lot," said Warrick.

He lived near his grandmother's place and always took some time to check up on Lindsay when he could. Grams was graciously willing to care for the little girl until other arrangements could be made for her.

"At least, she's safe," ventured Sara.

Warrick and Nick did not answer but agreed silently. They were all tired and worried about Grissom. They all wondered how he would be able to handle this.

Grissom walked in while they were all still deep in thought. He handed Nick a solo case and paired off Warrick and Sara. He said that he himself would stay back at the lab to finish up a prior case. They all knew why he wanted to stay in the lab tonight. No one said very much as they left.

Only Sara tried. She walked up to Grissom and tried to convey her sympathy over his loss. She took his arm and looked at him. Grissom looked at her without expression.

"Yes, Sara?" he asked, without a tremor or trace of anxiety in his tone of voice.

"I just want to say that I'm so sorry. About Lindsay's mother," she said gently.

Grissom simply shook her hand off and the expression on his face did not alter.

"Sorry about what, Sara? You'd better follow Warrick," he said, leaving the break room.

Sara was stunned. She didn't move for a while. Grissom was in denial? Or had he never loved that woman in the first place? Her dashed hopes began to rebuild. Maybe, she still had a chance.

She did not see Grissom return to his office. Did not see him caress the picture he kept in his wallet, in the privacy of his office. She could not imagine the turmoil and agony in Grissom's mind as he desperately hoped against hope. They had not positively identified the DNA of the burnt female body. There was still a chance that he would still find her alive. He would not give up hope. He could not, or he would lose his mind. Right now, Grissom could not fathom a future without Catherine in it. He would surely go insane if she was really gone.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

"Where is mommy?" asked Lindsay with a pout. She hugged her teddy bear and looked at her father with mournful eyes.

Grissom sighed and elected not to answer, simply continuing to tuck her into her bed. He didn't know what to say anymore. Lindsay never stopped asking questions about her mother's whereabouts. She had been asking non-stop since he had picked her up from Grams house, in the afternoon. He was just too tired to try and give her another answer by now.

"Do you want me to read you a bedtime story?" asked Grissom, wearily.

Lindsay looked at him with sad eyes. She shook her head.

"I want mommy to read," she said, with a hint of stubbornness in her voice. She could say simple sentences quite well by now. She was a very intelligent child.

"I'm sorry, but she's not here right now. So which story do you want?" said Grissom.

"I want mommy to read!" repeated Lindsay, more insistently this time.

Grissom sighed.

"Lindsay, you know mommy's not here right now. So she can't read to you," answered Grissom.

"But you said mommy would come back. I want mommy now," argued Lindsay.

"I'm sorry, she will be back. Just not now," said Grissom.

"I want mommy!" said Lindsay, her voice climbing in volume.

"Lindsay," said her tired father, trying to soothe her.

"I want my mommy now! I don't want you!" stated Lindsay angrily. She turned her head away.

Grissom had no clue what to do. So far, he had never had to deal with a tantrum by himself. Lindsay was generally well-behaved and her tantrums were minimal. But tonight it seemed that she was determined to have one. He needed Catherine badly right now.

"Lindsay," tried Grissom again.

"I want mommy!" screamed Lindsay, still looking away. Tears of rage had started to fill her blue eyes. She hugged her teddy bear tighter.

"Go away!" she yelled.

Grissom was stunned and unprepared for her rage. Lindsay was simply acting out of frustration and misery. She badly wanted her mother and Catherine had never left her for so long before. She was comfortable with Grissom but her mother had been with her for her whole life. Grissom had only been present as her father for a few months.

"You say you find mommy!" she wailed.

"Mommy come back!" she cried helplessly.

Grissom stared at his daughter. He was unable to deal with her rage right now. He was tired and guilt-ridden. He had spent too much time at work, trying to find Catherine and had neglected to spend more time with the one person who needed him the most. He had forgotten that Lindsay was still here and she needed him too, Grams was not an adequate substitute.

Lindsay cried and wailed. Her words were repeated over and over. She simply wanted her mother back.

Every cry and every wail sliced through Grissom with excruciating pain. He still sat frozen by Lindsay's bed. His hands had dropped to his side. He watched and listened as his daughter screamed for her mother. Occasionally, Lindsay would tell him to leave and that she didn't want him. She was simply miserable and wanted her mother.

But Grissom didn't understand that. Each time she said something like that, the rejection tore at his already tattered heart mercilessly. He was unable to see that Lindsay was simply a child and that she didn't really mean what she said.

Grissom sat there for what seemed like an eternity.

Eventually, Lindsay's yells softened of their own accord. She was tiring herself out. Gradually, her crying was reduced to the occasional sniffle. She buried herself lower in the bed.

Grissom sat there unmoving. Suddenly he felt a tug.

"Daddy, water," said a red-eyed Lindsay.

Grissom went to get her some and stayed as she drank it. Then he took the glass away and helped her remove her hearing aids. He did everything mechanically, without a trace of love or emotion. He felt numb and detached.

Lindsay settled herself down to sleep. She still sniffled a bit and her pillow was damp. But Grissom didn't notice. He simply left. He forgot to kiss her. He didn't make sure that she was securely tucked in tonight. He just walked out, automatically leaving the door slightly open.

Lindsay fell into an exhausted slumber. She was too weary to notice that her father didn't kiss her or tell her good night. Her little face was still set in a sad expression.

Grissom got himself into the sitting room. He was not thinking clearly. All he knew was that he felt numb but he still knew that he was in pain. He wanted to simply be completely numb. His brain still told him that he had failed Catherine and Lindsay too. He couldn't bear these thoughts.

Grissom retrieved a bottle of vodka. He had it because he had remembered that Catherine liked screwdrivers. He had told her that she could make herself some if she wanted. He grimaced. He put back the bottle.

He took out a bottle of brandy. At least this didn't have ties to Catherine. She never liked brandy.

He poured himself a large glass. He gulped it down. But the thoughts still did not go away. He could still hear his little girl's voice, telling him to leave. Telling him that it was his fault that her mommy was not around. His fault, all his fault. He had lost Catherine and he had ruined Lindsay's life.

Grissom kept on drinking. Eventually, he stopped using the glass. It was easier to drink from the bottle itself. He just kept drinking. It was his fault.

Lindsay hated him. Catherine was probably dead because of him. She would never see Lindsay grow up. Lindsay would never have her mother's guidance as she grew up. All because of Grissom.

He just kept on drinking.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

Grissom felt terrible. He groaned as he slowly regained consciousness. His head felt like exploding and there was an incessant pounding noise. He could sense the harsh rays of the sun on his face. He gave another groan as he gingerly tried to push himself up.

Unsuccessful first attempt. Grissom laid back and rested a little bit first. Then he somehow managed to right himself. He found that he had passed out on the couch. It seemed to be pretty late in the morning already. He felt awful and that annoying pounding sound had not abated in the least.

It took Grissom another five minutes or so to figure out that the sound wasn't originating from somewhere in the back of his skull. It was actually emanating from his front door. Someone was knocking on the door.

Grissom gave another groan as he made his way quite slowly and unsteadily to his front door. He hoped that whoever it was would leave. But the pounding simply got louder and a voice started yelling his name. Even though he was still hung over, he knew that his door would be forced open soon if he did not open it first.

When he finally got the door open, Jim Brass was just about to commence an attempt to break down the door. Brass looked at him with irritation. Grissom barely looked at him, simply making his way back to the couch.

"Good morning, sunshine!" said Brass with full sarcasm.

Grissom merely grunted.

Brass took in the two empty bottles of hard liquor on the floor. He looked hard at Grissom. Grissom closed his eyes. Then Brass looked at his watch.

"Where's Lindsay?" asked Brass.

"Room," was the delayed answer from Grissom.

Brass sighed. He whipped out his cell phone and made a call to Warrick. He arranged for Warrick to come and get Lindsay and take her to Grams place. Grissom was not fit to care for a little girl at this time. Brass didn't want Lindsay to see her father completely hung over. It was definitely not what Lindsay needed right now.

He then settled in an armchair and waited. There was no point talking to Grissom just yet. He would allow him some time to recover and wait until Lindsay was out of the house. There was plenty of time to talk. He considered making him coffee or getting him some aspirin. He decided that Grissom was old enough to ask if he wanted any. So he just sat there.

Warrick arrived in a few minutes and quickly collected Lindsay. He didn't ask questions about Grissom, still sprawled out on the couch. He had grown very attached to the little girl. He knew that Brass would be able to handle whatever it was that Grissom was going through. It had been a long couple of weeks.

Ever since the DNA result on the burnt body had been negative, the team had avoided the topic with Grissom. There seemed to be no more leads. They could not seem to find a trace of Catherine. They only knew that the body was that of another woman.

The dayshift had given up after some time. There just wasn't enough to go on. The nightshift crew had continued but had to admit that they were really not making any headway. Grissom was outwardly calm and seemed reasonably normal on the surface.

But the team could feel that something was very wrong. They had not had breakfast with him or simply talked to him, since Catherine had disappeared. He may have been aloof, but he had always been a kind and considerate supervisor. Now he barely acknowledged them except to assign cases. They missed his mentoring and his insight. Now he was completely withdrawn. They did not know how to break through his impenetrable barriers.

They had tried, each in their own way. Sara had tried to sympathize and get him to admit to the possibility that Catherine was lost for good. Needless to say, that did not go over very well.

The guys had tried as a group and individually. They asked him to have breakfast or to join them to go to the shooting range as a group. Individually, they approached him in their own times and ways. No one got through.

Brass decided that it was time to pound some sense into his old friend. Sure, Catherine had been beautiful and maybe even the love of his life, but life had to go on. He had seen tear tracks on Lindsay's sad little face as Warrick carried her out in her pyjamas. He knew Grissom would never hurt her intentionally, but he needed some shaking up.

"So you emptied out the hard stuff huh? They've been sitting in that cupboard for years," started Brass.

Grissom didn't respond.

"Gil, you listening here?" asked Brass.

Still no answer.

"Now listen good, I'm going to make sure that you hear this even if I have to dunk your head in a bucket full of ice cold water, you hear me?" said Brass sternly.

Grissom lifted his head gingerly.

"Coffee," he said.

Brass grumbled but got him a cup of instant coffee. Grissom drank it, making a face at the taste.

"Beggars can't be choosy," shrugged Brass, unsympathetically.

"What?" growled Grissom.

"Why was Lindsay crying?" asked Brass.

"She wanted her mother," answered Grissom.

"So that's why you were drinking?" shot back Brass.

"I was drinking because I screwed up her life and Catherine's and my own," was the reply.

"Yes, you did. You screwed up her life by drinking and not paying attention to her. How much time have you spent with Lindsay these two weeks, Gil? She lost her mother and she really needs you, but you're barely home. Warrick, hell, even Sara sees her more than you do. So yeah, I'd say you screwed her up pretty good," retorted Brass.

Grissom snorted.

"Okay, you think it's all about you now huh? Your life got screwed up? Well, tough! Deal with it, pal! Lindsay needs you. The lab needs you. Catherine cannot be found right now, but we don't know that she's dead. So why are you living like she is?" snapped Brass.

"I failed her," said Grissom.

"Whatever, Gil. Go fight your own demons. But listen here. You affect other people's lives. Your whole team is doing every single thing to try and help you and you treat them like crap. They actually take it because they respect you that much. Lindsay just needs you right now, because her mother is not here and you are. You said you adore her and that you'd do anything for her. You know what? Right know you need to get your head out of that stupid hole it's stuffed in and go and take care of her. Wherever Catherine is, Lindsay is here. And she's your daughter, damnit! Act like her father," said Brass.

"You're a fine one to talk," said Grissom.

Brass looked at him steadily.

"I lost my wife and Ellie," he said slowly.

"So I know what I'm talking about. My wife made her own choices but I could have chosen differently. I could have chosen to be there for Ellie, but I didn't," he continued.

"Take it from a father who's been there. You will regret it," concluded Brass. He had said his piece. He got up to leave.

Brass didn't tell Grissom that he had a lead that he himself would follow up on. There was no point. The main thing that was needed was for Grissom to get a grip on himself. He really hoped that Grissom would be able to do so.


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

It was dinner time at Grams' house. She had convinced her grandson to invite his friends over to eat a simple dinner before work. Grissom didn't come but everyone else was there. Lindsay was being treated like a little princess by the younger members of the nightshift and Greg.

They all felt partly responsible somehow for the little girl who had gone through so much. Being present at two crime scenes which pertained to such a young child had been emotionally draining for all of them. How much more had it affected Lindsay herself?

Warrick always tried to have dinner with Grams and Lindsay. If only to try and make Lindsay smile, maybe just a little. Grams often said that that she didn't smile half enough even though she was such an obedient child. She was mostly easy to care for.

Sometimes Nick, Greg or even Sara would come along. Each of them had developed a bond with the little girl. Albeit, rather unwillingly on Sara's part. They could all speak to her now, as she had her hearing aids. But they did try to learn some sign language.

Nick actually took a turn to baby-sit Lindsay once, for a few hours when Grams had to help a neighbour and Warrick was swamped with a case. He had played with Lindsay and felt very sorrowful that the little girl did not smile or laugh much. He was very fond of his own nieces and nephews. It was a child's right to be joyful and carefree at this age.

He remembered Lindsay at the dinner party with her parents. She had been so happy and cheerful then. Now, Lindsay had lost all her bright cheerfulness. She played quietly, without a giggle or a twinkle in her blue eyes. Her eyes were usually sad now.

Nick wished with all his heart that her mother would be returned. Or that Grissom would try to do something. There was only so much other people could do. Grissom would be able to do more, he was sure. Lindsay needed her father just as badly. But so far, it seemed that his supervisor was only obsessed with finding Lindsay's mother. He didn't know how to talk to Grissom about this. He had tried but to no avail. Grissom just shut him off.

Greg made funny noises and faces to try and elicit a smile from the serious looking five year-old. He succeeded reasonably well. Lindsay did laugh. But even he could tell that it just wasn't the same. It was not the laugh or giggle that he had drawn from her at that dinner party.

It was heart-wrenching to know what the little girl had gone through. Gamely, Greg continued on his quest to entertain Lindsay for the evening. After all, what was the use of having quirky talents and letting them go to waste?

Greg had grown very fond of the little girl, just like everyone else on the nightshift. He really wished that she would be able to get back to normal. How that would be achieved, he had no clue right now. He had seen each of his more senior workmates try to get Grissom to pay more attention to Lindsay. Nothing had worked so far. Greg had decided to simply concentrate on trying to make Lindsay happy. He wouldn't even try going up to talk to his boss about this, he knew that he had even less of a chance than the rest to get him to listen. He hoped for a miracle for Lindsay.

Sara watched Lindsay silently as Nick and Greg played with her. Warrick was helping his grandmother in the kitchen. She thought about how Lindsay didn't deserve to go through all this. She deserved to be giggling light-heartedly and to feel loved and cherished, like any other child her age.

Sara couldn't bring herself to get to close to the little girl. Even watching her from a distance was beginning to take its toll. She refused to get emotionally involved. It would just hurt that much more.

So even though she came sometimes, she kept her distance. She played with Lindsay only when she had to. Like the few times she had come only with Warrick and he had been busy with his grandmother. Then Sara had spent time being close to the silent little girl. But only because she had to, yet she still came even though she wasn't sure why.

She didn't know how it would end up for Lindsay. Through her experiences, sometimes the sun just didn't shine after the rain. It just went on being dull, or a storm came. She told herself that it was for the best. After all, Lindsay already had enough support from her colleagues. She wasn't needed.

Sara watched as Lindsay accidentally fell off Greg's back. She was probably not hurt because of the carpeting but she was stunned. It didn't take long for Lindsay to start crying loudly. Sara recognized the cry. It was less from actual hurt than just a wail to be loved by someone. Just to know that someone cared.

Nick and Greg were unable to pacify her well. But Warrick heard and he came in to get her. He picked up the sobbing child and soothed her gently. She did quiet down for Warrick. He handled her amazingly well.

"She's just stunned, I don't think she's hurt," said Nick.

"Ok," said Warrick quietly in reply.

He let Lindsay's head lean on his shoulder as he stroked her back. Warrick seemed to be a natural at this. He also reassured Greg that Lindsay was not hurt. Sara observed all of this, from where she sat.

The image she had of a dark-skinned little girl with Warrick's eyes flashed into her mind again. She knew instantly that the image was identical to the one she had seen before, months ago. She could just see Warrick being a daddy.

Warrick would be a better father than Grissom. Even she knew that Grissom would not be winning any father-of-the-year awards with the way he was acting towards his daughter. She knew that he stayed in the lab a lot and barely went home. She wondered how Lindsay felt about it.

But she wouldn't wonder. She wouldn't get close. Grissom was obviously still hung up over that woman. And he would never see her as anything more than a colleague. She would not get close to anyone, ever again. It just hurt too much to be rejected.

She simply felt sorry for Lindsay. She didn't identify with her situation. Sympathizing meant getting closer, getting involved. Which she wouldn't do. Sara would do anything she could to help, within reason. That was the most that could be expected of her. She had never been the maternal type. She simply wasn't the kind to bond with Lindsay.

It was time to eat. The food was wonderful as usual but the atmosphere was still a bit strained. Lindsay said that she wanted to wait for her father. The rest looked at each other uneasily, knowing that Grissom would be unlikely to come for dinner anytime soon.

It was all they could do to coax her to eat. They did end up waiting until the last possible minute because they had to leave for work. Each tried to call Grissom and ask him to come. But even when Lindsay was put on the phone, he refused.

They all left for work with heavy hearts, with the image of Lindsay's sad, disappointed face weighing on their minds. They only managed to eat because they did not want to disappoint Grams. But they all had no appetite. Things would have to change soon. None of them could take much more.


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

The moment her eyes made contact with his, she knew that her world would change again, irrevocably. She remembers the other men in her life who have done the same thing to her. The instant her eyes met theirs, she knew that something would happen that would affect her profoundly. From the very first moment, she could feel with certainty that something would occur. Initially she had been excited and exhilarated, but through the years, her bad experiences had taught her that wariness and a healthy dose of caution were warranted, more often than not.

The expression on his face did not bode well for her peace of mind. He had a cynical and slightly disapproving look as he met her gaze. He must have been observing her for some time, she guessed. It was easy to be unnoticed for a long time in the endless sea of people. She was so used to men staring at her, that another pair of orbs observing her had not made much difference.

When he saw her look straight at him, he indicated that he wanted to talk. She was hesitant but his expression brooked no argument. He would corner her somehow, if she refused. He had found her after all and he probably would not let her go so easily. She briefly contemplated running out the back door.

Then she sighed and gestured for him to wait. She would be able to take a break in about half an hour. Hopefully, she could manage to have it a bit earlier. She had to face the consequences of her recent actions sometime or other. She had learned that fact, the last time she had been confronted with her actions. There was just no running away from them it would only be a delay of the inevitable.

She went back to her job but did not manage to get her break early. In a way, she was grateful for the slight delay. She was not looking forward to this confrontation. Ever since she had realized that he was here, she could feel his eyes watching her. She suspected that he wanted to make sure that she did not take off by a back exit or something. She couldn't blame him because she knew that she didn't deserve to be trusted.

After hanging up her apron and changing her blouse, she picked up her purse and nervously touched up her make-up. She hesitated a few more minutes and then took a deep breath. She looked at her image in the mirror.

In the harsh white light, she thought that she looked old. Old and worn and miserable. Beauty did not last. It could not be expected to considering how she had lived her life. It was a miracle she had held on to it for so long. She felt worn and numb. Her life was now just a monotone of routine. She was miserable because she yearned for so much more. But she believed that she couldn't have what she yearned for.

At least, there were scarcely any more bruises now. The last beating had not left that many on her face and those had pretty much healed. There were only minor hints of some bruises that stubbornly refused to fade, but they were easily covered with make-up. It didn't matter though. After all, she did not have to hide the bruises so much, since there was no one that she would frighten with those marks. No one she cared for anyway.

She squared her shoulders and stared at herself with determination. She would face him and talk. She would accept the consequences of what she had done. She regretted a lot of things. But she had done what she had thought was best. She knew that she would now know if that were true or not. Even as she gave her explanation, she would ask for answers from him as well. She thought that he would give her some. Maybe not all, but it would be enough. It had to be.

She left the locker room and headed for where he sat. He was still there. He had paid for his drinks. He stood up as she approached, his face set in a neutral expression. Without a word he indicated for her to follow him. Without a word, she did just that.


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41

"So would you mind telling me what happened so far?" asked Brass.

He looked steadily at the strawberry-blonde sitting across the table from him. When he had found her, alive and well after following an obscure lead, he couldn't decide whether to feel grateful or to try to strangle her then and there.

Brass was very much against violence towards women. Yet the urge to strangle her had been quite overwhelming. Brass was definitely beginning to understand why Grissom was in so much turmoil because of this woman. The effect she had on men was pretty much devastating in most ways.

Catherine gave a small sigh and looked away. She held the cool glass in both hands and wondered what to say. She would like to ask him how Lindsay and Grissom were. But for now, Brass didn't look like he would be answering any questions till he got his answers.

"Eddie came that morning. I heard doorknob being fiddled with. I thought it was just Grissom, carrying too many things home and trying to open the door. I didn't look," she stopped.

Brass knew that this was difficult for her but he was still raging over how she had just left Lindsay and Grissom. She had been alive all along and they had been looking all over for her. Right now, he did not feel much pity for her.

"So I opened the door and let him in," continued Catherine in a small voice.

Brass waited.

Catherine glanced at him and saw that his expression had not altered. She went back to her story.

"I guess you know that we fought. I tried to get him out, but he was too strong. I managed to hit him a few times with something. I fought back this time," she said.

Brass knew that this was true. They had found that the blood left behind had been Eddie Willows' as well. Not all of the blood that was spattered was Catherine's.

"But he was stronger and really angry. He dragged me away, knocked me in the head and dumped me in his car, I think. I guess I passed out," said Catherine, her eyes looking into the distance.

She looked back at Brass.

"Then I'm not sure what happened. I came to in the trunk of a car. It wasn't moving and I just lay there for some time. I thought that he'd left me to die, again," she gave a small, bitter smile.

"I don't know how long I was there, but then someone opened the trunk. I don't know his name, but he was a bodyguard. There was a limo beside the car. The door was open and he helped me in.

The limo belonged to a Sam Braun, he said that he was passing by and that his driver saw the abandoned car. The window was smashed and they stopped to see if they could help. That's how they found me," explained Catherine.

Brass raised his eyebrows at her explanation. Something just wasn't right. The LVPD had had some issues with Mr. Braun before. He didn't really seem like the Good Samaritan kind when he had met him.

"And you didn't call Grissom?" asked Brass. He'd figure out about Sam Braun later. This was the more important part.

Catherine hung her head and had the grace to look ashamed.

"No," she said in a soft whisper.

"Well, why the hell not?" asked Brass in exasperation.

"Because, then I would never leave. This was my chance to leave. I'd been too weak to go before," she answered.

"Grissom is going nuts trying to figure out whether you're alive or not! Not to mention Lindsay, who's crushed that you never came back. What kind of a mother are you?" growled Brass.

Catherine flinched at the strong words. She didn't meet his eyes.

"Well?" said Brass impatiently.

"I should have told him that I was okay, maybe. But then he'd insist on taking care of me and I wouldn't have the strength to leave again," she said, close to tears.

"Why on earth do you want to leave so much? Well, congratulations! You left. You win. Grissom lost. Lindsay doesn't deserve you as her mother," thundered Brass.

Tears finally started creeping down Catherine's face.

"I know she doesn't deserve me. She deserves so much better," she said softly.

Brass sighed.

"She needs you very badly right now. Grissom too," said Brass.

"But I would only screw up her life more. I should have given her to Grissom when she was born. He would have given her everything. Instead, I married Eddie. God, I screwed up so badly," said Catherine sadly.

Brass could feel a headache coming on. He was beginning to think that surely Grissom and Catherine deserved each other.

"Whatever you did, she loves you. And she needs you to come back and be her mother. Grissom needs you to come back," said Brass.

"I don't know," said Catherine.

"Well I'm sorry. I've had just about enough of all this! You and Grissom can work things out your own way. But right now, I'm demanding that you see Lindsay. She's a miserable little girl who keeps crying for her mother and has a father who barely looks at her now, he's too busy looking for you," said Brass sternly.

Catherine gasped in shock at his words.

"She really needs to see you. She never smiles anymore, no matter how hard Greg tries to make her. Please, Catherine, your daughter needs you," pleaded Brass.

Stunned, Catherine nodded. She had thought that Grissom would be able to take care of Lindsay well. How could she have been so wrong?


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42

Catherine watched her baby girl sleep. Lindsay was curled up in her mother's arms in her bed. She clutched Catherine's right arm that was around her with both arms tightly, even in slumber. Her grip was firm and there was no way Catherine would be able to move, for now. Lindsay was definitely determined that her mother would stay right beside her.

Their reunion had been ecstatic. Being only five, Lindsay was just extremely happy that her mother had returned. She didn't dwell on the pain that her mother's absence had caused her. She simply welcomed Catherine back joyfully with wide open arms.

However, she refused to let Catherine out of her sight from the moment she laid eyes on her mother. Catherine had been waiting for her, when she came home from kindergarten. It had been Nick's turn to pick Lindsay up today. They had all arranged to take a turn when they could. Nick had been surprised when Brass had called to inform him to bring Lindsay home instead of to Grams' place.

It was amazing watching the change that came over Lindsay at the mere sight of her mother. The mournful blue eyes simply lit up with pure joy. Nick hadn't been able to get her out of the car seat fast enough. Her ecstatic yell of "Mommy! Mommy's back!" could probably be heard throughout the whole neighbourhood.

Catherine clutched her beautiful daughter to her tightly. Lindsay, in turn, clung to her desperately. Lindsay had so much to say to her, so many things to show her. She had made countless art projects for her mother and she wanted to give her all of them.

The most wonderful thing was her smiles and laughter. Nick and Brass were thrilled to watch the little girl's radiant smile blossom every so often. It had been absent for far too long. Her giggles and laughter burst forth like the sunshine. It was a lovely miracle to witness.

In her excitement, Lindsay forgot all about the rest of the people. She was solely focused on her beloved mother. Lindsay would not let go of Catherine at all. She stuck like glue to her mother for the rest of the day.

Catherine observed her daughter silently, by the dim night light on the table. She took in the beloved features and kissed her long locks. Catherine surveyed her daughter carefully, as one intently looking upon a very precious treasure. Lindsay was without a doubt, her greatest treasure.

Catherine was dismayed to find that her little girl had lost some weight. As her mother, she remembered clearly everything about Lindsay. She could tell that Lindsay had lost some weight. Upon further inspection, Catherine realized that Lindsay now slept with a slight frown on her face. She, who should have no cares or problems to worry about. She should be able to sleep in complete peace and with sweet dreams of fairies and angels.

Catherine lay back down and hugged the little girl closer, realizing that she had caused all of this. She had made the wrong choice again. She had thought Lindsay and Grissom would be better off without her. How could she have been so wrong?

Poor Lindsay, she had suffered so much. Catherine kissed the back of Lindsay's head and whispered her heartfelt apologies to her daughter. Lindsay had never deserved any of this.

Catherine told her softly that she would never leave her again. She promised to always be there for her little girl. She promised to learn to be wiser, to make better decisions. She made all kinds of promises to the sleeping Lindsay and also many apologies. Lindsay would be cherished eternally. Of that, Catherine would ensure from now on.

In the living room, Grissom brooded over the return of his daughter's mother. His mind reeled over that fact that she had been alive for these three months. She had simply made a decision to leave them, without consulting him like she had promised.

The first time Catherine had left, Grissom had been able to pick himself up and continue with his life with reasonable ease. Yes it had hurt badly, but he had been able to get over it somehow. He had been able to go on with life smoothly after some disruption.

This time, Grissom didn't know how to react to her reappearance. She had left again. She had only come back because Brass had found her. She never came back willingly, it was always only because she had to.

Grissom realized that she had always only come back because of Lindsay. Her first reappearance in his life had been to get her daughter back. This time, it was the same, it was simply for Lindsay. He had only had her because he had Lindsay.

Lindsay was his main link to Catherine. She had never really loved him probably. She had admitted that she only stayed on for Lindsay's sake. Now she had come back because of Lindsay.

Grissom looked at his liquor cabinet for a long while. He had simply stared at Catherine when Brass had brought her back. He'd noticed that she looked well enough. Unhurt. Alive. He couldn't say anything.

Fortunately, a few minutes later, Nick had pulled up with Lindsay. Then Grissom had just stepped back and let mother and daughter reunite. He had never expected to see her when Brass had called and told him to be at home.

Grissom had actually been at the lab. But Brass had told him to do as he was told in no uncertain terms. Grissom was simply unwilling to argue. He seemed to lack energy to do anything more than solve cases and search for Catherine these days.

He decided not to get a drink after all. Brass had told him to take the night off. He looked at the clock. There was still paperwork to be done. He would go to the lab anyway. Grissom left the house silently and quickly after making his decision.


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43

"Grissom?" said a voice.

Grissom knew that it was Catherine. He didn't respond and pretended to continue sleeping. In actual fact, sleep had been hard to come by. There were too many things on his mind. Guilt and rejection were not sleep-inducing emotions. They were his constant companions these days. Since she had come back, he felt even more turmoil. Even he knew that if this continued, his work would begin to suffer. But he did not know how to confront her.

"I know you're not sleeping. We need to talk," said Catherine softly.

Grissom continued feigning sleep. He heard her sigh.

"You need to talk to me eventually, we have a daughter together and we live in your house. Please," she pleaded.

It was to no avail. Grissom couldn't physically run away this time but he could still avoid her by sleeping. So he did not get up.

Catherine debated leaving him for now. But it had been nearly a week. They had to talk about so many things. He had been avoiding her constantly. She decided to plunge ahead. They had to do this, if only for Lindsay's sake.

"Alright, I'll talk. You can just listen," Catherine stopped and took a deep breath.

"I can't say how sorry I am it all turned out this way. I did mean to tell you before I left, but then Eddie came that day and…" she paused, briefly.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you that I was alive and that I left. I can't imagine how you must have felt but I know that it must have been terrible. I'm so sorry I didn't think it through properly," she said, staring at the figure on the bed.

"I know that nothing I can say will make it better. I just, I really don't know. But your friend, Brass? He's right. I was crazy to leave you and Linds. I don't know, I just seem to keep hurting you, no matter what I do.

Look, thank you for searching so hard for me. Thank you for caring so much. I'm sorry I've caused you so much pain. Thank you for taking care of Lindsay. I wish I could do more than just talk. For now, I guess I can't," Catherine's voice had trailed off and her last words were spoken very softly.

But tonight, Grissom's hearing was perfect, he heard everything she said. He simply didn't know how to respond. So he kept still.

"I have a job now, and I'm doing okay. I don't know what you want to do but we need to figure things out together. I've made a promise to myself to try to do better. I'll try to listen and not hurt you anymore. I'm sorry I can't prove it to you right now. But please, give me a chance? I just need you to let me try again. Or have I run out of chances with you?" here Catherine stopped for a long while.

"I'll let you think about all this. Whatever you decide, just try to bring yourself to talk to me," she said and started to leave the room.

Grissom lay there, thinking.

Catherine stuck her head back in.

"Also, Grissom? Lindsay misses you. Can you please at least come and have dinner with us? For her? She wants to spend some time with you. Thanks," she said, finally leaving.

Grissom uttered a soft sigh of his own. He needed to get some sleep. He had to work soon.

Grissom didn't get up in time to have dinner with them after Catherine spoke to him. However, he finished his shift early and bought doughnuts home for breakfast.

He managed to get home before Lindsay woke up. This morning, he went into Lindsay's room when it was time for her to get up. Catherine was already there ready to help Lindsay prepare for a new day. She looked at him, stunned for a while.

He gave her a short nod and gently pulled back the curtains. Catherine turned to her daughter and kissed her forehead, pulling her covers down. Lindsay mumbled sleepily.

Catherine continued to kiss and gently pull her daughter up. Grissom watched his daughter get up. He observed as she opened her eyes and smiled at her mother happily. Catherine indicated him and Lindsay had a smile for him too.

"Daddy!" she squealed with delight.

She held out her arms to her father. Grissom hesitated. Catherine looked at him pleadingly.

He quickly moved to carry her. Lindsay wrapped her arms around him and placed cheery kisses on his cheeks.

"G'mornin, Daddy," she said lovingly.

Grissom held her tenderly. He had forgotten how wonderful it was to be greeted by his daughter when he came back. Of late, he rarely spent much time around her. Other people had been caring for Lindsay. He felt remorse and regret tug at him.

He smiled at her and told her that they would have doughnuts for breakfast. He fell in love all over again with the way her eyes lit up at the mention of the sugary treat. She brightened even more when he told her that he would send her to school today. She rushed to brush her teeth, eager to start her day.

Catherine flashed a radiant smile at him. Her eyes thanked him eloquently for making Lindsay happy. It was so easy to please Lindsay. If only other issues were as easily tackled.

She was right. They had to talk. Grissom finally conceded that he couldn't avoid Catherine forever. He had been behaving somewhat childishly. They would talk, after they sent Lindsay to school.

For now he would just enjoy the morning. It had been a long time since he had really enjoyed anything. Today, he promised himself that he would start to enjoy life again.


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44

"Do you want to stop at a café or something? Or would you prefer to go back?" asked Grissom.

They had just seen Lindsay skip off into her school building, her pony-tail bobbing cheerily. Her smiles and laughter this morning were as radiant as they had ever been. She was a joyful sight to behold.

Catherine considered the question warily. There were too many memories in that house now. But their conversation would take some time. She wondered which would be the better option, keeping in mind that the conversation would probably get very emotional. She decided that although a café would be good neutral ground, this conversation needed to be had where they could trash everything out without interruptions. The house would be better because they would not need to worry about the observations of others. Then hopefully they would be able to be more honest with each other.

"Let's go back to the house," she replied.

Both were careful not to say the word `home'. Catherine didn't know if she was welcome to call it home. Grissom hadn't felt at home in his house for some time. The drive back to the house was silent.

"Do you want a drink?" asked Grissom, when they had entered the house.

Catherine just shook her head.

Grissom shrugged and went into the kitchen. He came back out with a cup of coffee. He had been working the whole night. But he was determined to clear the air now.

They stared at each other across the coffee table. Neither knew exactly where to start. They only knew that they had to talk. They could feel a chasm between them, a barrier. It would be a difficult obstacle to cross.

"I fa.." started Grissom, deciding to forge ahead.

"I'm glad.." said Catherine at the same time.

They both stopped and laughed uncomfortably.

Grissom held up a hand and indicated that he wanted to go first. Catherine nodded.

"I feel like I failed you. Then Lindsay told me to go away because she wanted you. And I felt like I failed her too," began Grissom.

Catherine interjected, "Gil, she's five. She didn't really mean that she didn't want you. She was just upset."

"Hold on, let me finish. You're right, I agree. I was stuck in self-pity and couldn't see that before. You left because you thought it was the best for everyone. I guess I can see why, in a way. It was an opportunity to leave and you did. I just didn't handle the repercussions the way I should have," said Grissom steadily.

"I've had some time to think. All of our actions, are made based on our own decisions. You chose to leave, I chose to search for you. In the process, I neglected Lindsay when she needed me the most. So I did fail her. Fortunately, I had friends who looked out for her. I owe my team a lot for taking care of her. I had a talk with Warrick last night," said Grissom. He drank some coffee.

"You say that all you've done is hurt me. I'm not so sure all the blame is on your side. I should have accepted your decisions. I knew what I wanted and I was convinced that it was the best thing. But I forgot that you are a completely different person and so I've brought some of that pain on myself. I should have realized earlier that I can only accept what you chose to do, not change it. That was what I've been trying to do all along, change things, make them better. It just doesn't work that way," Grissom had stopped speaking directly to her. He was lost in thought and voicing out the conclusions in his mind.

"You said that you're sorry. Alright, I accept your apology and I'm sorry too," he said, turning back to her.

Catherine looked at him.

"I accept your apology," she said, formally, following his lead. She then waited for him to continue.

"You said you'd prove to me that you would stop hurting me. I'm telling you now that you don't need to. You don't need to prove anything to me because the way you choose to do things in life is part of what you are. It's what makes you Catherine. I don't need you to spend time trying to make up for everything that's happened. We'll consider our failures equal," he said stretching out his hand.

Catherine took it and they shook hands firmly.

"So we'll start all over again?" she said, still holding his hand.

"In a way, I guess," he gently pulled his hand away.

"We both want the best for Lindsay and I guess that means her having both her parents around always," said Grissom.

"Yes," agreed Catherine, unsure of where he was going with this.

"At least, we're now able to talk about things but I suppose you'd agree that we still have much to work through? What kind of a relationship can we have with each other and all of that," observed Grissom.

Catherine looked sad, but nodded.

"You mean that a simple conversation isn't going to erase all this," she said, gesturing vaguely.

"Our actions, the past. We have to work through them," she concluded.

"Yeah. Our actions and decision. We still have issues to talk over. But now I'm asking you what do you want to do after this?" said Grissom, calmly.

"Have lunch?" said Catherine, wilfully misinterpreting the question.

"You know what I mean, where do you want to go or what do you want to do," he explained.

Catherine looked down. Then she plucked up her courage to say what she wanted to say.

"I want to stay here, with you and Lindsay. I can work in the day and take care of Lindsay at nights. You can do the opposite. I think it would work out," she said carefully.

Grissom looked thoughtful.

"It's completely up to you, you know. This time, I mean it," he clarified.

"I know," she answered, looking into his eyes.

There was a pause. Catherine closed her eyes briefly and wondered if he would agree, he had every right to throw her out after all she had done. She wouldn't even blame him if he did.

"You can take the master bedroom and I'll convert my study into my permanent bedroom," were Grissom's next words.

Catherine opened her eyes.

"No, the master bedroom has more space. You'll need it to transfer all your things from the study. I need less room. That's what I choose," she said, with a sigh of relief.

He looked at her.

"Deal. We'll do the shifting later," he said wearily.

"Yes, right now, you'd better get some sleep," she told him.

Grissom nodded and headed off to sleep.

Catherine sunk lower in the chair and marvelled. That wasn't as hard as she had thought it would be. She would be able to stay with Lindsay and Grissom. She was very thankful. She smiled joyfully.

She knew that Grissom was right. There would be many things to work through. Such a simple conversation hadn't even addressed a quarter of the things that they needed to say to each other. But at least, she had a chance.

This time, she would be wiser. Leaving Grissom had never proven to be the better choice. Neither was leaving Lindsay. She needed to stop running away. She needed to accept and deal with her actions and their consequences. She felt positive that they would be able to work things out. Maybe even become a real family. It was time to settle down and live life properly.


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45

"Hey, boss! You wanna come for breakfast?" inquired Greg, at the end of a Thursday night shift.

Grissom looked up from sorting his papers. He appeared to consider the invitation for a moment, but then shook his head.

"I'm sorry, I can't. Lindsay has a show-and-tell project and she's bringing a butterfly. I need to get back and give her some last minutes tips. Sorry," answered Grissom.

Things had been gradually getting back to normal at the lab. Grissom was more or less back to his former self. However he didn't often join his team for breakfast anymore. He usually went home to see Lindsay before she went to kindergarten. The team understood but didn't stop asking him anyway.

"No problem, I kinda miss the little squirt. Hey, why don't you bring her for breakfast after shift tomorrow? It'll be Saturday morning so she won't have school right?" asked Greg enthusiastically.

"Well, maybe. It's a pretty good idea," conceded Grissom.

"Cool! Catch ya later, boss!" said Greg, taking his leave.

Grissom was silent for a moment.

"Hey, Greg!" he called out after the young CSI aspirant.

"Boss?" asked Greg, reinserting his head.

"I just wanted to say thank you. For helping out with Lindsay," said Grissom, a bit hesitantly.

Greg gave a big smile.

"My pleasure, boss. And it's nice having things back to normal," Greg replied, scampering off.

Grissom's eyebrow rose, at the parting comment. He sighed. He must have been doing a really lousy job of keeping it together these previous months. It was a wonder that his team were still with him.

He caught sight of the clock and quickly went back to finishing up. He needed to get home quickly. The least he could do now was to quit spending time on regrets and work on making things better.

"So we should have a really big Christmas bash at the lab this year! We could decorate the place and get lots of food and stuff," said Greg with barely repressed excitement.

Warrick grinned at him, "Really? How are you gonna get a budget for all that? And the permission to actually do it here?"

"Details," said Greg dismissively.

"We'll deal, now all I need is volunteers to help plan this thing," continued Greg.

"Plan what thing?" asked Sara, walking into the break room.

"The best Christmas party this lab has ever seen!" answered Greg.

"Greg, there's never been an actual Christmas party here. Drinks and snacks don't really count," pointed out Nick.

It was Friday night and they were waiting for their assignments. As usual they came in slightly earlier.

Greg had gotten the Christmas party idea at breakfast in the morning. The diner had played an early Christmas carol. When the opening notes of `Jingle Bell Rock' had started to play, Greg had remembered that Christmas was only a month away. He was so excited.

His ideas for the party continued pouring forth. The rest watched and listened with amusement. They occasionally said a few words. But it was not really necessary, Greg was on a roll.

"Okay, tonight, we have cases to solve. Not a party to plan," came Grissom's voice.

He then proceeded to give out assignments, while disillusioning Greg gently of the feasibility of having a Christmas party at the lab.

Before the team dispersed, Grissom asked them to have breakfast together.

"Lindsay misses you all. And Greg asked this morning if I could bring her for breakfast after shift. That alright with you guys?" said Grissom.

Nick and Greg promptly gave their acquiescence. Warrick and Sara glanced at each other.

"Well, we were going to have breakfast with Grams at her place. You know, I think she'd love to see Lindsay too. So why don't we all go to her place for breakfast? I'll call her and tell her," said Warrick.

Grissom nodded at him. He hadn't noticed the exchange of glances.

"Sure, as long as it wouldn't trouble her too much," he said with a shrug.

"Nah, she'll make enough to feed an army no matter how many of us turn up. She'll be thrilled," said Warrick.

"All right, let's go," said Grissom. He left, eager to get started.

Warrick and Sara quickly made to leave as well.

"Hey, I wasn't invited to Grams place for breakfast!" stated Greg.

"I wasn't either," said Nick.

They had both been bewildered when Warrick had made his statement.

"Wait a minute," said Nick.

He realized that Sara hadn't protested and that she was the only one who had been invited. When had that happened?

"How come only Sara was invited?" asked Nick, in a puzzled voice, which gradually turned teasing in a split second.

Greg's jaw dropped open and he couldn't say anything as he realized what Nick was implying.

"We gotta work guys," said Warrick in a nonchalant voice, leaving the break room.

Sara didn't say anything but left with him. They had been paired up for the evening.

By now, Nick had a broad grin on his face. Greg was still looking shocked and slightly crestfallen.

"Well, well, well, who would've thought?" Nick said with amusement.

"Warrick and Sara?" gasped Greg, all his Christmas party plans dashed to pieces. Who was he going to use the mistletoe on?

"This is going to be fun," said Nick gleefully.

"I'm hurt," grumbled Greg.

"You'll live," replied Nick.


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46

There was the anticipated squeal of absolute delight as soon as the door was opened.

"Oh, Mommy! Oh! Oh! It's …. It's…. Oh!" exclaimed Lindsay, completely at a loss for words, so awed was she.

Lindsay ran around the magically transformed living room with fervent pleasure. Her eyes darted everywhere. Her mouth had stopped talking and hung gaping, when she was not squealing with joy.

Catherine watched fondly as Lindsay moved about rapidly. She had decided to take the day off and spent the entire time that Lindsay was at kindergarten decorating the house. She had had the idea some time ago and had discussed it with Grissom. Grissom basically told her to do as she pleased.

This was the first time that Lindsay would be celebrating Christmas properly. Catherine was determined that it would be perfect. She had spent the previous week buying decorations for the whole house.

The tree had been ordered the day before and delivered this morning. Grissom had raised his eyebrows slightly at the arrival of the six-foot-tall tree. Catherine had blushed in response. She had gotten a little carried away in her quest to give Lindsay the best Christmas ever.

Together they had gotten it set up in the living room. Grissom had helped her dress the tree and hang up some of the decorations on the walls. Then she had told him to get some sleep. She had spent the remainder of the time working very hard to finish by the time Lindsay got home. She had just managed it.

Lindsay had never seen a more beautifully decorated house. The tree was amazing. It was huge and colourful and sparkling and glowing. There were candles, berries, holly, pine cones, reindeer, candy canes and all sorts of decorations all over. The normal cloths had all been replaced with Christmas coloured cloth. There was a beautiful tapestry of the Christmas story hanging on a wall.

Lindsay ended her jubilant exploration and flung herself into her mother's arms. Catherine laughed joyfully. It was all worth it. Lindsay was ecstatic. And Lindsay hadn't even seen her gifts yet.

Catherine had always tried to make Christmas special for Lindsay. But it had been difficult, especially with Eddie's unpredictable behaviour. There was also the lack of money. Catherine had never been able to afford to splurge like she had done this time.

She could this year. She didn't need anything for herself. She had gotten a bonus for December. Her basic needs were met and didn't cost her anything at all. Grissom refused to let her pay rent or for utilities and food. She had given up arguing for the month.

Therefore, Catherine had opted to spend all the money on Lindsay. Aside from some cards to send to her relatives and a gift for Grissom, Lindsay had gotten everything her mother could buy. Catherine had simply spent her entire pay check and bonus for this Christmas. But Catherine was laughing because all the money in the world could not buy her daughter's joy.

Lindsay had been through so much. Catherine was trying to make up for it. She couldn't change the past but she could make this Christmas and all the rest after it wonderful.

Catherine picked Lindsay up and they danced to the music that she had put on. It was Lindsay favourite. The Chipmunk's Christmas song. They whirled and twirled with glee together. This would be a moment Catherine treasured forever.

Eventually they came to a stop and Catherine went to get them hot chocolate with marshmallows. They curled up on the couch as Catherine listened to Lindsay talk about her day.

Both mother and daughter were unaware of their sole observer. Grissom had been woken up by his daughter's more excited squeals. He had initially thought that she was in trouble but then heard her comments about how wonderful the room was.

He had gotten out of bed and crept to the living room. He had arrived during Catherine and Lindsay's impromptu dance. He had watched spellbound. When Catherine had announced her intention to get the hot chocolate, he had retreated to his room. Then he had come out again after a few minutes. He simply stood and watched them on the couch.

Grissom had retreated because he had not known how to approach the situation. He was very glad that Catherine and Lindsay seemed to have found their way back to each other so effortlessly. He agreed whole-heartedly with Catherine's plan to make Christmas special for Lindsay. Although he had not said so to Catherine, just telling her to go ahead with her plans nonchalantly.

The truth was that he did not know how to get back into this family. He did want to so very much. But he wasn't too sure that they wanted him, actually. He knew that Lindsay loved him but she was simply so young. She loved him because they told her that he was her father. It wasn't really something she chose or understood fully yet.

As for Catherine, he knew that she was grateful to him. She probably liked, respected and trusted him at least. But that didn't mean that she loved him. She had simply figured that he would make Lindsay a good father. Even though from recent experiences, he had his doubts about that. But that didn't mean that she loved him.

Grissom knew that he still loved Catherine. No matter what had happened. He had been at fault too. But did she love or even want him? She definitely saw him as the best option to depend on in raising Lindsay. But that wasn't all Grissom wanted.

If only he knew how to tell her. They had talked some more. But he was pretty busy and she was generally busy too. So Grissom stayed hidden, even as he enjoyed the sight before him and wished that he was part of the beautiful scene too.


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47

"Hey, princess. What are you doing here?" asked Warrick as he caught sight of Lindsay rushing at him.

"Mommy is late, so she said I should go with Daddy for a while," explained the little blonde. By this time, she was being comfortably carried in Warrick's arms towards the break room.

"Hey, Lindsay! Come to work tonight?" teased Nick with a smile as he saw the little girl in Warrick's arms.

Lindsay shook her head vigorously.

"Waiting for Mommy," she told Nick.

"I see, so you're waiting with Daddy, huh? Where is your father?" said Nick, tickling the little girl, as he walked with them towards the break room.

Suddenly there seemed to be a commotion behind them. Warrick and Nick instantly turned around to take a look. They saw Grissom rushing around frantically, calling for Lindsay.

"Grissom!" said Sara, from behind the night shift supervisor.

"Calm down! She's not lost," said Sara, pointing to the little girl watching them.

Warrick let her down and she ran over to her father. Grissom looked extremely relieved. He picked up his daughter and presumably started to give her a lecture on the importance of staying close by him.

Sara simply joined the two men and they continued to head into the break room. This would be an interesting shift. They had never had a child at the lab before. Greg didn't really count because he actually worked here.

Grissom came in carrying Lindsay, who carried a stack of files for her father. Everyone couldn't help but grin at the look of importance on the little girl's face. She was holding the files very carefully for her father.

Instead of standing and passing out the files, Grissom opted to take a seat tonight. He distributed cases and let Lindsay hand them the files under his instructions. Lindsay seemed very pleased to be able to help her father at work. They were all glad that she was currently well and happy.

Warrick and Nick each gave Lindsay a hug before leaving. Sara simply smiled and would have just left. But Lindsay surprised her by hugging her too. She smiled down at the affectionate little girl. Lindsay returned it with a brilliant smile.

It was a few hours into the shift by the time Catherine showed up to collect her daughter. By then, the rest of the team had returned to the lab to process and analyze the evidence that they had already collected.

The receptionist led Catherine to the break room. Lindsay was asleep on the couch. Sara was reading through some papers at the table. Catherine was mildly surprised. Grissom had said that he would be doing paperwork so he could watch Lindsay for a while. Catherine had had to work to cover for a friend.

It was not unusual, Catherine knew, for the team to watch Lindsay. But she was used to Warrick and Nick. She had expected either one of them to be watching Lindsay, if Grissom was tied up. She had not expected Sara.

Catherine had always been wary of Sara since their first encounter. She understood that the younger woman seemed to be nearly always quite frustrated when she was around. Catherine thought that there could be many reasons for that and didn't blame her. However she was unprepared to meet her tonight, without anyone else around.

Catherine knocked softly on the door-frame. Sara did not turn around. Catherine didn't want to wake her sleeping daughter. So she entered the room and approached the table from the side. She laid a hand on one of the papers, making Sara jump.

"Oh!" exclaimed the CSI. But fortunately, her voice was soft.

"Hello, Sara, right? Thank you for watching my daughter," said Catherine softly.

"You're welcome," was Sara's automatic response.

Sara had been as unprepared to encounter Catherine. She had had to sort through some papers and Grissom had been called to discuss something about bugs. As usual, she had volunteered to help him out.

Sara took a moment to look properly at the woman, who by all accounts, held Grissom's heart. She could not deny that Catherine was very beautiful. She was dressed simply but tastefully and did not have much make-up on. Still she didn't seem to be all that special.

"Ah, Grissom had to help Nick with some bugs," explained Sara, slightly nervously. She wasn't sure how Catherine would react to her watching Lindsay. She wouldn't want Catherine to complain about her to Grissom or anything.

"Right, okay. He's coming back in a bit?" said Catherine.

"Yeah," answered Sara.

Catherine flashed Sara a bright smile. Then she moved her attention to the little girl sleeping on couch. She kneeled down and gently smoothed down Lindsay's hair lovingly, watching her sleep.

Sara did not go back to her work. She continued to scrutinize the woman before her. Unconsciously she was still trying to fathom why Grissom chose Catherine over Sara herself. It was true that she had finally accepted that Catherine held Grissom's heart.

But even though she was sort of going out with Warrick now, a part of her still wanted to know why. She was still getting over Grissom. For a person like her, it was very hard to let go of things. It would take some more time. Some answers to her questions might help too.

"Why did you stay with your husband?" came the sudden question. Sara was about as surprised as Catherine that she had asked it. Her mouth seemed to have simply taken on a life of its own.

Catherine looked back to the younger woman. She did not answer immediately.

"I'm not sure," she said honestly.

"Grissom deserved to know he had a child," were Sara's next words. She could not seem to stop herself. A part of her knew this was not a great idea, but a part of her just didn't care and went on anyway.

"Yes, he did," acknowledged Catherine.

"So why didn't you tell him?" asked Sara.

Catherine looked at her squarely.

"I made a mistake. In fact, I made many mistakes," replied Catherine.

"You don't deserve him," continued Sara, knowing that she was getting in over her head by now.

"No, I don't," said Catherine.

There was a silence.

"You care for him?" said Catherine. It was partly a question and partly a statement.

Sara didn't answer. She didn't have to. Catherine was intuitive enough to have worked out the answer by now. It explained a lot actually.

"I made my decisions and he's made his. I'm sorry if you got hurt. Neither of us meant to," said Catherine gently.

"But what's important is now and the future. Don't be like me. I wasted so much time. Warrick is a wonderful man. Don't throw away what you have. Trust me, I know it's not worth it," said Catherine softly, but with feeling.

She had joined the whole team for breakfast at Grams' house that Saturday morning. She knew from all the teasing going on that Sara was at least going out with the other CSI.

Catherine liked Warrick. He was very attentive to her and Lindsay and she could sense that he revered Grissom. She knew that he would make Sara a great partner in life.

They did not get to continue the conversation because Warrick walked in. He came to talk to Sara and acknowledged Catherine with a greeting and a dashing smile. Catherine simply smiled back and sat next to Lindsay. She was waiting to see Grissom and tell him that she would go home with Lindsay.

She reflected on what she had learned tonight and watched the younger pair interact. Catherine hoped that Sara would take her advice. Life was simply too short to be lived in regret all the time, she knew that now.


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 48

"Warrick, can I talk to you in my office please?" said Grissom.

Warrick agreed quickly but was rather puzzled. Shift was over and he did not think that he had done anything wrong tonight. Why did Grissom want to speak to him privately?

"What's up, boss?" inquired Warrick as Grissom moved behind his desk.

Grissom hesitated slightly.

"I need some advice," he stated.

"Okay," responded Warrick and waited for his supervisor to continue.

Grissom didn't reply immediately.

"Grissom?" prodded Warrick. He'd begun to notice that his boss looked highly uncomfortable and even slightly miserable. He'd thought things in the Grissom home were looking up. What had happened now?

"I need to get Catherine a present," admitted Grissom finally.

Warrick's eyebrows rose. Grissom was worked up over this?

"And you don't know what to get her?" surmised Warrick.

"Yes, sort of," answered Grissom.

Warrick began to feel impatience creep in. He really didn't understand why this would be such a big deal.

"Lindsay and I chose a bracelet as Lindsay's Christmas gift to her mother. I want to give her something meaningful but I don't want to overwhelm her. I was wondering if you could help me think of something unique," explained Grissom.

Warrick stared at Grissom for a few seconds.

"If you don't mind my asking, how are the two of you doing anyway? I know Lindsay is doing great but you and Catherine?" asked Warrick shrewdly.

Grissom's uncontrolled slight grimace gave Warrick his answer. He sighed. He understood Brass' grumbling about this pair. He had once walked in on Brass muttering several comments when Catherine had initially re-entered Grissom's life.

"Why don't you talk to her?" asked Warrick.

"She has to choose to talk to me by herself. I'm not going to choose for her this time. I'm letting her make her own decisions," said Grissom.

Warrick knew that there was much more to the story. But it still did not seem likely that he would hear the full version.

"So you want to give her a gift that says that you care but won't make her feel uncomfortable in any way?" said Warrick.

Grissom just nodded.

Warrick thought for a while.

"You don't want to give her flowers or perfume or jewellery?" asked Warrick.

"Not if I can help it," replied Grissom.

"Something unique," said Warrick thoughtfully.

"Let me think it over and I'll try and give you an answer by tonight okay?" said Warrick.

"Thanks, Warrick and have a good day," said Grissom with a small smile.

"But, Grissom," said Warrick, just before leaving.

"I think you're the one who would know her best and I'm sure you could come up with a terrific idea for a gift. Don't be so scared. You never know until you try," concluded Warrick. He said goodbye and left.

Catherine closed the door to her room and put her package on the bed. She removed the wrappings and took out the leather bound photo album. Emblazoned across the front was the name `Lindsay Gillian Grissom'.

Catherine had named Lindsay after her real father because deep down, she had always known that Grissom would be a great father to their daughter. But she had not had the courage to go to him after leaving him like that. Her life had still been completely messed up. She had cried a lot when Lindsay was born.

She had cried for Lindsay, herself and Grissom. For the choices she had made in her life. She had held the newborn Lindsay close and shed tears even as she had smiled at her beautiful baby daughter.

Eddie had not been there for any of it. He wouldn't have understood her tears at all. He had been ecstatic at Lindsay's arrival when he finally came home. Catherine was forever grateful that he had loved Lindsay as his own.

Catherine opened the other packet. It contained copies of a number of photographs, chronicling Lindsay's life until now. Catherine had selected the best and most memorable pictures she could find. She had written captions and laboriously decorated titles for the pages.

It included pictures of a newborn Lindsay up to the recent breakfast together with Grissom's team. There were no pictures of Eddie, definitely. But there were many of Lindsay and Catherine. She had found a rather large number of pictures of Lindsay and Grissom. It was not really surprising, considering Grissom's devotion when Lindsay appeared in his life.

Carefully she began to paste the pictures and the prepared captions and titles into the album. She arranged and rearranged each piece for the best effect she could obtain. This had been a carefully thought out gift.

She could not give Grissom back Lindsay's babyhood. But she could give him these memories. She worked slowly remembering all the wonderful times she had spent with Lindsay.

There would be many more special moments. She had no doubt of that. She would start a collection of special photo albums. She hoped that one day she would be able to start an album with the title `Grissom Family' across the front.

Catherine hoped that her wish would come true. She could wait. He had waited, in a way, for so long. Even more, she hoped that one day, she would be able to start an album for a new baby with Grissom being a prominent feature, from the beginning. She would continue to wait and hope.


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 49

"How did you get them to leave the house on Christmas Eve anyway?" asked Sara. She had a bag of presents in her arms as she entered the Grissom house.

"My grandmother's church is having a Christmas play. Grams told Lindsay all about it and she was very excited to go. I also suggested that it would be a good time for them all to bond as a family. So they're all over there. After that, Grams' will have some carollers at her place so they're going there before they come home," answered Warrick with a smile.

"Sneaky, bro! Using Lindsay to get the whole family out," commented Greg with a mischievous grin.

"Yeah and manipulating Grissom into spending quality time with his family too. Nice touch, War," laughed Nick.

Warrick shook his head.

"I wasn't manipulating anybody," he protested.

"Uh huh," grinned Nick.

"It's okay, you're right anyway. They need to spend more time as a family. And Christmas is all about that right? It'll be great for Grissom and Catherine and Lindsay to have fun together, " said Sara.

The three men looked at her with some surprise. Greg's jaw dropped. Nick stared at her with a question in his eyes. Warrick gave a small smile.

"What?" asked Sara.

"That's what we all want for Lindsay and her family right? For them to be together," went on Sara.

Nick smiled.

"Yeah, Sar. We're just a bit surprised to hear you voice it. That's all," he clarified.

"Why?" asked Sara.

The three men looked at her mutely. Warrick had a slightly forlorn look in his eyes.

"You guys still think I'm hung up on Grissom, don't you?" she accused.

"Even you," she directed to Warrick.

The expressions on their faces told her the answer.

"Well, I'm not," she stated.

The three still had sceptical expressions on their faces.

Sara stared back at them then she put the bag down on the floor. She walked over, straight up to Warrick and firmly pulled him down for a kiss. This kiss wasn't particularly chaste either. Warrick gasped slightly in surprise and Sara slipped her tongue into his mouth. It went on for quite a while.

Until Greg finally regained his powers of speech.

"Guys, get a room! There are other people here. Hello!" said Greg loudly.

Nick smirked.

Warrick and Sara broke apart breathless and flushed.

"We didn't even put up the mistletoe yet," grinned Nick.

"Who needs mistletoe?" said Sara softly, staring intently into Warrick's eyes.

There still remained a question in Warrick's expression. Had she kissed him because she really wanted him? Or had she done so just to prove a point?

Sara placed a hand on his cheek and caressed his skin softly. Warrick leaned into her hand and they shared a sweet smile.

"I'm really ready," she told him.

Warrick looked at her for a few long moments, trying to read the meaning of her words in her eyes. They were clear and unclouded. He saw only himself reflected in them, no other person.

Warrick smiled.

"Merry Christmas, Sara," he said gently and leaned in to kiss her again.

There was a loud groan from Greg, which they both ignored. Nick had dragged him over to start placing the presents under the tree. But Greg couldn't resist watching the events unfolding in the room.

"Greggo, give'em some privacy!" hissed Nick.

"They want privacy? Then they should get a room," maintained Greg.

Nick shook his head.

"Hey, you two? The faster we arrange everything and exchange the presents, the faster you two can go celebrate elsewhere. I have a plane to catch too, you know," said Nick.

Warrick and Sara turned to him sheepishly. They joined the two under the tree and started sorting out the presents.

"Looks like we have a number of Santas," commented Grissom softly, to Catherine, at the sight of the vehicles outside their home.

She laughed quietly and opened the door. Grissom carried the sleeping Lindsay in and headed straight for her bedroom.

Catherine took off her coat and went into the living room. The four young CSIs were still in the living room, with piles of presents under the tree and some stuffed into stockings pinned on the mantelpiece.

"Hello, all," smiled Catherine.

"Uh, hi Catherine," said Warrick. The rest also said `hi' and turned to look at her.

They had all been lounging around, having entered into an endless conversation and not realizing how much time had passed. Sara was sitting in Warrick's arms and blushed at the knowing look Catherine sent her way.

"Wow! You've all been busy," said Catherine.

"How many of those presents are for Lindsay?" asked Catherine.

They all had sheepish looks on their faces.

"I only gave her two," spoke up Nick.

"That's coz you have plenty of other nieces and nephews you're gonna see tomorrow," interjected Greg.

"Oh? And you Greg?" said Catherine, with amusement.

"Ummm, about four maybe," mumbled Greg.

"Five," corrected Nick.

"Okay, five, I couldn't resist," admitted Greg.

"I see," said Catherine.

"Dare I ask how many the two of you brought?" queried Catherine.

"I also brought her presents from Grams," said Warrick.

"We all kinda went a bit overboard," confessed Sara.

"And all the mistletoe too huh?" said Catherine with a glance at the ceiling.

"Well, we thought you guys might find it useful," quipped Greg. Then he panicked at his boldness and looked down.

Catherine laughed with amusement.

"Thank you, all," said Catherine with sincerity.

"These are wonderful. Lindsay is going to be ecstatic. I went overboard too, don't worry. I'll let it slide for this year. But please, practice some moderation for her next birthday and next Christmas okay?" said Catherine.

All of them voiced their agreement. Then they got up to leave, even though Catherine asked them to stay on and have a cup of coffee. They demurred, saying that they had meant to leave before Grissom and her came back.

Catherine walked them to the door and they all wished her a Merry Christmas as they left. Grissom came out right before they all walked through the door. So they stayed a few more minutes to wish him as well. Finally the door closed behind them.

"Lindsay's going to be spoilt rotten at this rate. She'll have every toy in the store," said Catherine with a laugh as she stared again at the many presents.

"It's the first year they've done this. I'm sure they'll be wiser next year," said Grissom.

"Uh huh," said Catherine.

They both stood there and looked at the beautiful tree. Unconsciously they moved closer and then Catherine was practically leaning onto Grissom. She was startled when she heard Grissom clear his throat.

"Uh Cath?" he asked.

She was thrilled by his use of her nickname. He hadn't called her that in a long time.

"Is that mistletoe?" he asked.

Catherine giggled as she followed his gaze up. Directly above them was a sprig of mistletoe.

"I think it is, Gil," she confirmed. She looked into his eyes.

"Are you going to follow tradition?" she challenged.

Grissom stared back at her.

"Neither of us has touched any alcohol," she pointed out.

Slowly, Grissom leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. Catherine closed her eyes and relished the sweetness of the kiss. It seemed to go on forever. But it was not lustful or uncontrollably passionate. It was just barely shy of being chaste and very adoringly sweet. It was also filled with a wonderful feeling of hope.

They pulled apart and looked at each other.

"Good night, Catherine. Merry Christmas," said Grissom. And he went into his room.

Catherine stood there, for a little while. The she smiled and went to bed too.


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 50

It's the week after Christmas. Catherine has been busy. She has packed up about half the contents of her bedroom into a few boxes. She marvels at how much she has acquired in such a short time. She feels as if she has been here for only a brief period.

But the amount of things she's had to fit into those boxes has already tired her out. Looking around the room, she doesn't know whether to smile or groan at the fact that there are so many more things to pack. She is used to having very few things to bring when it comes to moving time. Not many of the things she owned previously were needed or wanted when she moved from one place to another. It was always just easier to get more things. None of it had any value anyway. Replacements were cheap but usable and much more convenient.

Catherine pushes her hair back and sits down on the floor with her back against the bed. She takes a sip of cold water from the glass she holds and rests for a moment. There is still Lindsay's room to pack up. Lindsay must have acquired even more things than her. The presents from Christmas alone would fill a few boxes. Catherine smiled ruefully at the thought. This was going to be a long and tiring week.

"So you gonna buy an SUV or a minivan next month?" inquired Brass.

It was the end of the Thursday night shift and he had finished up some paper work which had needed Grissom's signature. Grissom quirked an eyebrow at his question.

"What's wrong with the Tahoe?" he shot back.

Brass grinned.

"Thought you were going for broke on this `Happy Family' thing you got going. An SUV or a minivan would complete the Rockwell painting," replied Brass.

Grissom simply stared at him.

Brass laughed at the look.

"Hey, what are friends for? Just messing around with your head. I'm glad it's all going so well for you guys," said Brass with smile.

"Hmm," was Grissom's only reply.

"How do they like the new place?" was Brass next question.

"Well," started Grissom, removing his glasses.

"Lindsay is ecstatic. She's never seen such a house before, let alone be told that she would get to live in one," said Grissom.

"She like the pool?" asked Brass.

"She doesn't know how to swim yet," admitted Grissom.

Brass chuckled.

"She'll learn," he stated.

"I'm sure she will," agreed Grissom.

"Catherine?" queried Brass.

"She definitely likes the place," answered Grissom.

Then he returned to finishing his paperwork.

"And?" prodded Brass.

"And nothing," said Grissom with a neutral expression, looking back up at Brass.

Brass' expression made him add a few words.

"She's happy that Lindsay's thrilled and she seems to be very fond of the house," said Grissom.

Brass didn't leave.

"She's also agreed to supervise the decorating and arranging of the whole place," continued Grissom.

"Oh, what a shocker," commented Brass dryly.

"What else do you want me to say?" said Grissom, irritation creeping into his voice.

"That you and her are heading on the right path. That would hopefully lead to Lindsay not being an only child," said Brass frankly.

Grissom gave him a thoroughly irritated look.

Brass didn't flinch at all.

"Look, Grissom, you want to and Catherine seems pretty willing to me. Why suffer when you really don't have to?" said Brass.

"You bought the place to start over. To give them and yourself, a place where there are no bad memories. Go ahead and get started on brand new good ones," advised Brass.

Grissom did not answer.

"Right," sighed Brass.

"Well, happy moving. You doing it over the New Year weekend right?" reaffirmed Brass.

"Yes," answered Grissom shortly.

"Have fun," said Brass, leaving the office.

They would start moving everything the next day. Catherine thought about the move as she lay on her pillow, on Friday night. It would be her first real move. Definitely a first for Lindsay.

Lindsay was so excited it had taken over an hour to get her to go to sleep tonight. Grissom had been home as well. They had finally gotten Lindsay to sleep well past her bedtime.

After that, they had finished up what needed to be done. Everything was packed and ready to go. The movers would be here first thing in the morning. Grissom's team had also volunteered to help out. Grams said that she would provide the food.

Catherine smiled at the thought. Everyone was being so helpful. She had no worries about this move. It felt great. All the other times she had moved, it had been a desperate necessity. This time, it wasn't to run away.

She thought of Grissom in the next room. She wanted to go to him right now. To spend the last night in this house, in his arms. In a way, she thought that it might help exorcise the bad memories that she held about this place.

But she didn't know if he would welcome her. So she forced herself to not get up and walk into his room.

They would start anew in the new house. It would be a brand new year. She could wait longer. He just didn't seem ready to accept her yet. They had made small steps in the progression of their relationship. But he was no where near ready for her to just climb into his bed.

Catherine sighed. She wished that he would relent sooner. She understood his reservations though and tried to be patient. It was only a matter of time. Since she wasn't planning on going anywhere, there was plenty of time.

"One day, I will tell him that I love him," she vowed softly to herself.

"And he will say it back to me," she continued.

"Someday," she whispered.

Catherine closed her eyes. She needed to sleep. Tomorrow was a brand new day and the beginning of a brand new chapter of their lives.

The End


	51. Chapter 51

Epilogue

* Three years later *

Lindsay opened the door and entered the silent house quietly. No one seemed to be about yet. She hauled her school bag upstairs and dropped it in front of her bedroom door. But she didn't stop there. She continued on as noiselessly as possible and opened the light yellow door a little further on.

Blue met blue as two pair of eyes stared at each other. Lindsay moved her whole body in after her head and gently shut the door. She smiled brightly and was greeted by an adorable smile in return.

"Hey, Vera," whispered Lindsay.

There were flailing hand gestures and sweet but incoherent cooing in reply.

Lindsay moved closer and looked down.

"It's the last day of school today. It's now officially Christmas season," said Lindsay.

Vera simply smiled her dimpled smiles and laughed at her.

"You're so cute," grinned Lindsay.

She put her hand into the crib for Vera to grip. Vera squealed and made cooing noises, continuing to smile contentedly as she reached for her sister's finger.

"It'll be a wonderful Christmas, your very first one. Aren't you glad?" asked Lindsay.

Vera simply laughed and played delightedly in her crib. Lindsay continued to talk and play with her new little sister.

Lindsay tells her all about the last day of school and about the decorations that have already been put up. She tells her about the other Christmas decorations to be put up and about the other preparations for the Yuletide season. They will be shopping, baking cookies and getting a tree. It will be busy but a lot of fun.

"And you're going to get lots of presents," concluded Lindsay.

Vera gurgles and smiles at her sister.

"Oh well, mom says you'll grow up soon and then we can open them together," said Lindsay.

"You're really lucky," continued Lindsay.

"You'll get lots of presents all the time. You already do," smiled Lindsay.

"It wasn't always like this for us, you know. Me and mommy, I mean. Not you," said Lindsay.

"I used to have another daddy, he wasn't my real daddy though," Lindsay gave a small sigh.

"He wasn't so nice to mommy," said Lindsay.

"They really used to fight a lot and I didn't get really nice presents or a nice house like this. I think mommy thought that I didn't know, but I could feel them fighting outside the room," recalled Lindsay.

"It was scary," she admitted.

"But you don't have to worry at all. Coz our daddy is really great now and mommy doesn't get hurt anymore. And now there are Grams, Uncle Warrick, Uncle Nick, Uncle Brass, Aunt Sara and Uncle Greg. They work with daddy. Mommy says that she will work with them too. After she finishes studying," said Lindsay.

"You're a pretty good listener, you know," said Lindsay to her smiling sister.

"I can't wait for you to grow up," smiled Lindsay.

The door to the room opened.

"Hey, mom. Hey, dad," greeted Lindsay.

Her parents greeted her with smiles and soon the whole family went down to have something to eat. Life still had its ups and downs. Some memories would take a little longer to erase. But it was okay. Their family was doing just fine.

_CSI * CSI * CSI * CSI_

_Note : A great big thank you to everyone that has been following this story. Thank you very much for all the kind reviews. I really do appreciate them. This is now done. I'm sorry it's a bit too late for Christmas. Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! And an amazing New Year! _


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